tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257011132024-03-07T14:06:58.935-05:00No Stanley Cups AllowedJasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.comBlogger209125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-88826221614848411682010-02-01T13:59:00.004-05:002010-02-01T15:02:28.161-05:00Yes but will it be in 3D?Calgary, Alta - The Toronto Maple Leafs have officially announced that they will be reprising their role as "the Toronto Maple Leafs" in the upcoming remake of the 1992 sports classic, <span style="font-style: italic;">"Doug Gilmour, Jamie Macoun, Ric Nattress, Kent Manderville and Rick Wamsley for Gary Leeman, Alexander Godynyuk, Jeff Reese, Michel Petit and Craig Berube." </span>The original was a flop on release in Calgary, but found an instant home among critics and audiences alike in Toronto.<span style="font-style: italic;"> </span>Studio executives say they are still in talks with the other principle lead from the 1992 flick, the Calgary Flames. The film is being described as a "re-imaging" of the franchise and is tentatively titled "<span style="font-style: italic;">Dion Phaneuf, Fredrik Sjostrom and Keith Aulie for Ian White, Matt Stajan, Niklas Hagman and Jamal Mayers</span>." Sources report that discussions have stalled over the treatment of the Calgary Flames' character, "the Calgary Flames". "Even at the time I was thinking, who wrote this crap?" the Flames are quoted as saying. "That character was so completely unbelievable, what kind of hockey team acts like that?"Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-22170875608914943872009-12-12T21:13:00.006-05:002009-12-12T22:54:57.332-05:00Start calling Stajan "The Big Stage" you jerksOk so if my reading of the Maple Leafzeitgeist is correct, this might be Matt Stajan's last season in Toronto. This means I need to ramp up my one man crusade to nickname him Matt "Big Stage" Stajan before it's too late.<br /><br />Stajan is quietly one of my favourite Leafs. It started with his first game, the last game of the 02/03 in which he scored a breakaway goal against Ottawa. <span style="font-style: italic;">This is how legends are born.</span> He never really "broke out" in the traditional sense and he never really lived up to the Art Ross Trophy he won for me in <span style="font-style: italic;">NHL 2005</span>, but he's turned into a solid, if perhaps not Kessel-linemate worthy player for Toronto. He also has a habit of scoring big goals (like my anecdotal evidence is going to convince you, but he <span style="font-style: italic;">did</span> just score the game winning goal against Washington).<br /><br />Anyway I don't know how this works. Nicknames should grow organically (in exactly the way that Jonas Gustavsson's did not) but this feels fundamentally too important to leave to chance. Consider this: Every hockey player needs a nickname, and if we don't act, if we do not consciously and literally draw a line in the ice now, then we are dooming future hockey generations to a world where no one goes farther than adding "-er" to players' names and calling it a day. <span style="font-style: italic;">Stajer</span>?<br /><br />Granted Stajan has a nickname, I guess, but "Ragin' Stajan" is a <span style="font-style: italic;">fundamentally lame</span> nickname. There is nothing "Ragin'" about Stajan, which means at best the nick' is working off a lazy rhyme scheme and a weaksauce sense of irony, and as I hope you'll agree, the business of sports nicknames is no place for irony. Imagine if Brian Sutter had been kidding when he called Doug Gilmour "Killer"?<br /><br />Blogosphere, my request is simple: make "Big Stage" Stajan a thing. Make it my Christmas miracle.<br /><br /><br />Erratica:<br /><br />-<a href="http://therecord.blogs.com/blogovich/2009/10/matt-rudyard-kipling-stajan-of-the-toronto-maple-leafs.html">This guy</a> suggests Matt Stajan's nickname be Rudyard Kipling. <span style="font-style: italic;">I like his style.</span><br /><br />-There's this guy who shows up on HNIC and I don't know his name but he's got this Droopy dog thing going on with his sad eyes and unshaven face and he really bums me out. TV shouldn't make me feel this way, CBC, <span style="font-style: italic;">get rid of him.</span>Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-19798829171883745222009-10-25T23:00:00.003-04:002009-10-25T23:23:23.295-04:00Things that give me hope:Given an infinite number of Toronto Maple Leaf teams playing an infinite number of seasons, we should expect an 82 game losing streak eventually. It is exceedingly unlikely however, that that will happen this year. I don't want to commit the gambler's fallacy, but the Leafs must be, in some larger cosmic sense, <i>due</i>. In these happy days of modern athletes the difference between professional sports team A and professional sports team B is one of inches and nuance. That's my attitude now at least: the Leafs are not perhaps, fundamentally, a good team, but they are also, fundamentally, not a terrible team. Even bad teams have nights when the puck bounces their way. Not every team the Leafs face will have Roberto Luongo backstopping them. <div><br /></div><div>I remain, as ever, doe-eyed and hopeful. </div>Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-33885769335997970002009-10-13T01:43:00.002-04:002009-10-13T01:57:23.684-04:00How did you spend your third period?It's important to say something nice first. Civility and respect never go out of style. The Leafs played a pretty good second period: they were watchable and competitive. Jason Blake scored a nice goal that scored points for technical difficulty and they were within one goal by period's end. Ok! Let's not get carried away with ourselves.<br /><br />Sean Avery scored to open the third period, and I changed the channel. Oh that Dexter! He's serial killer and a father? How does he manage?<br /><br />I forgot the most obvious reason I want Toronto to be competitive this year: Boston has our first round pick. There's no incentive to a last place finish. Whether that was by design or not (Brian Burke is inscrutable) is besides the point: the Leafs are swinging from the trapeze bars with no safety net below them.<br /><br />So, uh, let's go Leafs, I guess.Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-62660045465756830112009-10-08T02:12:00.003-04:002009-10-08T02:27:16.330-04:00Toronto's "Goaltending" "Dilemma"Toronto doesn't have a goaltending problem, it has a "not very good team" problem. After Tuesday's snoozer of a loss ("snoozer" in this case is not a boring sports writing cliche for describing a boring or uneventful game - I fell asleep somewhere in the third period) I hope we can retire this false goalie dilemma. Instead of, "who's going to start in net tonight?" a more interesting question might be, "who's going to score goals tonight?" Besides Matt "Big Stage" Stajan, and the line of Mitchell, Wallin, and Stalberg, the Leafs have nothing going on.<div><br /></div><div>At least we're not Canucks fans though right? High expectations are the worst. </div>Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-18017593729777613552009-09-29T20:44:00.006-04:002010-01-27T11:57:46.778-05:00Here's A Bold September Prediction: Leafs Make Playoffs!September is the best month of the year to be a fan of the Toronto Leafs. Consider this one telling statistic: the Leafs have never lost a regular season game in September.<div><br /></div><div>September is my favourite hockey month because it is the only month of the year where I can, semi-seriously, say things like this: "Toronto looks like a pretty good team this year, and if things come together, I can see them finishing seventh or eighth in the Eastern Conference."</div><div><br /></div><div>Eighth place! A gentleman's tenth, a nice way of saying, "Slow down there tubby, we're not on the moon yet." But maybe! The Leafs have good, young (!) players, oodles of defencemen and a GM and coach who both seem generally competent with regards to frozen ponds. Better than all that is this: This is a team with a direction. For the first time in a long time there is a Plan in place, a coherence to everything this team does. I may not agree with every move Brian Burke makes, but I also feel confidant that when he does do something, it's with a higher purpose in mind, a long term plan. If Burke is confidant in his actions, then so am I. </div><div><br /></div><div>Here's what it comes down to: I want the Leafs to win games this year. Last year, I didn't. Brian Burke has given Toronto its team back. Ok! Let's watch some friggin hockey.</div><div> </div>Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-7686349105803430152009-06-16T01:10:00.003-04:002009-06-16T01:34:12.174-04:00Congrats NHL!Congratulations National Hockey League! You remain the proud owner of one (1) insolvent professional ice hockey organization located in beautiful, sunny suburban Glendale, Arizona. I hope you make good use of it! If I were a real estate agent, I might call it a "fixer-upper". The place just needs some "TLC" and a little "elbow grease". Hah hah!<br /><br />There are going to be a lot of angry Canadians when you finally play your hand and have the Coyotes move to Kansas City, or Des Moines, or Boise or wherever it is the official NHL expansion plan calls for a team to be settled. Just a heads up. We're all adults here! We can read balance sheets. When you finally go back to making decisions based on cold financial logic, I think we can agree that the Phoenix Coyotes are not part of any hockey future. But keep pretending they are. I'm sure it comforts the 500 hockey fans in the great state of Arizona and I'm definitely sure it comforts the people running Glendale, who are going to be left holding one massize boner in the form of the Jobing.com Arena when you do up root and leave.Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-31522191744005516742009-05-15T15:39:00.004-04:002009-05-15T15:41:53.006-04:00Have Lid, Will PlayNiclas Havelid will play his hockey in Sweden next season. This is not important. I'm sorry you had to read it.Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-77715500597909058142009-05-14T23:46:00.004-04:002009-05-14T23:51:49.375-04:00Gary Bettman is a knobWhen the NHL puts out a statement describing Jim Balsillie's latest stab at the windmill as a "sham," we should probably listen. This is a league that sold a franchise to a guy named "Boots." The NHL knows all about sham owners. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">They know what they are talking about</span>.Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-73254465145108372202009-02-11T14:44:00.000-05:002009-02-11T14:44:00.790-05:00A quick chat with Larry T-BombThe following conversation took place a few months ago over the phone. I don't know how legal this is. I mean, I don't think Larry knew I was recording him, but in this day and age it's basically an unspoken assumption right?<br /><br />LT: Jay! Guess who.<br />JV: Sorry?<br />LT: "Sorry?" I don't like that word Jay, makes you sound weak.<br />JV: Oh hey Larry, I was just- it's kinda early Larry.<br />LT: Early? Do you know how much sudoku I've done this morning? Jay you aren't going to make VP of anything by sleeping in till 6.<br />JV: I don't work for you Larry.<br />LT: But you're an honest guy Jay, a really honest guy and I appreciate that. You won't make VP of anything with that kind of honesty but you're good to have around. Anyway, look I want your opinion.<br />JV: I have lots of opinions. For example, I saw this movie the other day about this chimpanzee who learns to skate and-<br />LT: Jay, I know you're young. You obviously don't remember Tampa's first season. The league has bylaws against that kind of thing now. Come on, give me something I can use.<br />JV: Ok well, I was also thinking about how every one loves penguins right?<br />LT: I don't. They waddle around in their coat tails thinking they're better than me. But my grandkids love them, so I concede your point.<br />JV: Right. So in between periods you could release a flock of penguins and some frozen fish into the rink. Kids would love it. Oh, you could dress them up in little penguin sized jerseys too and then auction them off for charity.<br />LT: Auction the penguins? I'd have to check that with Legal.<br />JV: No, I meant the jerseys. Auction the jerseys.<br />LT: Don't know if that would work here Jay, but I'll pass the idea onto Mario, see what he can do with it. Speaking of, I have a quick nine with him in ten. I'll let you know what he thinks.<br />JV: Ok-<br /><br />*Click*Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-68054254770017042502009-02-09T00:41:00.002-05:002009-02-09T00:45:06.404-05:00Dispatches from afar<p class="MsoNormal"><st1:place><st1:city>Machu Pichu</st1:city>, <st1:country-region>Peru</st1:country-region></st1:place> - <st1:time minute="36" hour="22">10:36 PM</st1:time> <st1:date year="2009" day="6" month="2">February 6, 2009 </st1:date></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I met a <st1:city><st1:place>Toronto</st1:place></st1:city> guy today. Another one. This place is lousy with them. You wont be surprised when I tell you Kevin's another expat Leafs fan. He said he was from Collingwood, I think. A high school history teacher. He's taking his sabbatical, “Nothing keeping me in the city these days, you know?” He’s been knocking off landmarks all over the world. He just spent a week in <st1:place>Rio</st1:place>. <st1:place>Europe</st1:place> before that. Saw some churches. He sold his season tickets to finance everything. Heard that one before too. Those tickets were in the family for years and years, he said. Him and his brother, they split the proceeds, split town, and then split up in <st1:state><st1:place>Berlin</st1:place></st1:state>. Kevin lowers his voice, “he was into this weird sex thing.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>I try to change the subject, put the conversation somewhere safer. “You hear Blake is doing good these days?” Kevin’s eyes cloud over, he shows a little discomfort, but then he shakes his head and he’s smiling amicably again. “Sorry?” “Jason Blake? He leads the team in points actually, and yeah I know that’s not saying-” “Oh you’re talking about h-h-” “Hockey, yeah.” He looks like he is sweating, though it is early morning on the summit and the air is cool. He runs a hand through his thinning hair. He stammers, “I haven’t been following the uh, the uh…” “Not too many bars in <st1:city><st1:place>Lima</st1:place></st1:city> showing Hockey Night, right?” I laugh.</o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Kevin apologises, makes an excuse. He needs to find his tour guide. “But it was good seeing a friendly face.” His eye is twitching. He turns and leaves. “I’m sorry,” I want to shout. There is a reason men search out ruins built on the world’s rooftop. There is a reason men drown themselves in bizarre carnal acts. Who was I to pack his troubles into a novelty tin of peanuts? Nobody who runs that far needs those snakes in his face.</p>Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-55093751263120488762008-12-06T01:53:00.004-05:002008-12-06T02:13:46.299-05:00And they say Russians don't understand democracy!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">I deliberated long and hard, but here's my picks for the KHL's all star game. It's Team Russia Vs. Team World, by the way.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Team Yashin</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">G -</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"> </span><span onmouseover="_tipon(this)" onmouseout="_tipoff()"><label style="line-height: 20px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Maxim Sokolov (Metallurg)</span></label></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 20px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">D - </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal; "><span onmouseover="_tipon(this)" onmouseout="_tipoff()"><label style="line-height: 20px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Alexei Zhitnik (Dinamo)</span></label></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"> </span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; "><span onmouseover="_tipon(this)" onmouseout="_tipoff()"><label style="line-height: 20px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">D - Darius Kasparaitis (SKA)</span></label></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"> </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">RW - </span><span onmouseover="_tipon(this)" onmouseout="_tipoff()"><label style="line-height: 20px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Aleksey Morozov (Ak Bars)</span></label></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">C - </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Oleg Saprykin (CSKA)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal; "></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">LW - </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Alexander Radulov (Salavat Yulaev)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Team Jagr</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">G - </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Ray Emery (Atlant)</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 20px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">D - Magnus Johansson (Atlant)</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 20px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">D - Karl Rachunek (Dinamo)</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 20px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">RW - Jan Bulis (Atlant)</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 20px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">C - </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal; "><span onmouseover="_tipon(this)" onmouseout="_tipoff()"><label style="line-height: 20px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Branko Radivojević (Spartak)</span></label></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 20px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">LW - </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Nils Ekman (SKA)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"> </span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">I hope everyone can take a minute out of their busy schedules to reflect for a moment and vote. The website is at </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><a href="http://www.khl.ru/media/votes.php"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">http://www.khl.ru/media/votes.php</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">. Maybe you should ask Google to translate it for you first. Or not. It might be more exciting that way. Or maybe you feel the need to write someone in? Wade Dublielewicz would probably appreciate the support.</span></span></span></div>Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-74163337983319919352008-12-02T22:48:00.003-05:002008-12-06T02:14:07.353-05:00Leafs. Sharks. Pre-Game.GUYS CANADA IS IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS AND YOU WANT TO WATCH <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">HOCKEY?</span> <div><br /></div><div>Maybe now would be a good time to bone up on the fundamentals of our cherished parliamentary democracy? A little less Lady Byng, and a little more King-Byng, you know? A little less Ken <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Dry</span>den (397GP/258W/57L/2.24GA) and a little more Ken Dry<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">den</span> (Hon. MP -York Centre 2004-). A little less Justin Pogge, a little more Harper's prorogue is what I'm saying.</div>Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-18187521716884011722008-11-28T00:53:00.003-05:002008-11-28T01:09:09.645-05:00Sad-sack Sens survive despite sartorial sinsI don't even have anything to say! The Ottawa Senators have an awful third jersey. It is lazy and boring and unpleasant to look at, but then, I guess it is pretty appropriate for the team that wears it, huh? Hah hah!<br /><br />YEAH I WENT THEREJasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-72277865940002111742008-11-26T17:56:00.007-05:002009-02-09T00:47:54.486-05:00Committed Quebecers collude to cook corporate cook offOh dear, another year, another tale of NHL All Star drama. I know! People say the All Star game is boring, and obviously it is, because <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">it is</span> an All Star game and I am not going to sit here and argue first principles with you, but suffice it to say that though the actual game may be unwatchable, the NHL is developing a decent knack for making the runnup at least notable. A couple years ago it was Rory Fitzpatrick buoyed by fans having fun with the NHL's vote now, vote often voting system (still waiting for that recount). The hockeystocracy was aghast of course, that is the twenty or so people left in the NHL who still attached any symbolic value to the honourific of "All Star." <div><br /></div><div>And wouldn't you know it, those gosh darned fans are at it again, messing with the institution we(?) all hold dear. And this time most of them don't even speak English. It's Montreal Canadiens fans stuffing the ballots now, trying to pull off a ballsy All Star starting line sweep, six for six, all Montreal. Zut Alor! It's like, don't fans even care about hockey? Don't they take this stuff seriously? Do they think online balloting is some sort of <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">joke</span>? </div><div><br /></div><div>Power to the people, sez I. Haven't you ever popped in an <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">NHL</span> game and squared your colours off against say, an All Star squad, or even Team Canada? (Personally, I haven't but it has more to do with existential issues than anything else. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Mats! You can't be in two places at once!</span> etc etc) Haven't you ever shot the breeze, arguing whether your team could actually take on a team of All-Stars? People talk like that, right? Well anyway, Montreal fans have a chance to find that out now, and people want to take that away from them? Every time something interesting threatens to happen in this league, somebody has to suck the air out of the room and kick a few puppies for good measure. It's Montreal's 100th anniversary. The All Star game is unthinkably boring. Why don't you lighten up. So what Tim Thomas starts the second period and not the first. So what Kovalev is a bum. You don't want to see Montreal fans - Montreal fans in Montreal cheering for six Montreal players because it maybe ruins some sort of tradition? Hey, you know where to cast your vote. Write your own voting program and put it to work. This is democracy, deal with it.</div><div><br /></div><div>Ok! That's another strawman torn to pieces. Carry on. </div>Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-12090203530717211732008-11-24T18:02:00.004-05:002008-11-24T18:35:20.223-05:00Leafs Lob Lollygagging Layabouts To 'Louis for LeeLee Stempniak for Carlo Colaiacovo and Alex Steen.<br /><br />My gut reaction was positive. I don't know much about Stumpy II but I know enough to be glad he's Leaf. A legit First Line player even. 3 goals, 10 assists 14 games. 11 of those points in his last seven games. Stempniak is a good addition.<br /><br />But, this is Toronto so no deal is ever simple. It's fair to ask why this trade happened at all with the eminent hiring of a certain Brian Burke looming over the city. Why is Cliff Fletcher dealing players now?<br /><br />It's also sad to see that the two players who are shipping out were, if you'll recall, as recently as October of this year, a big part of the future of this team. Colaiacovo and Steen are both first round Toronto picks. It's disappointing that Colaiacovo will never got the chance at a full season as Leaf. It's disappointing that Alex Steen will never be that franchise stabilising captain in Toronto. Both players are under performing magnificently this season so in that sense Fletch might have pulled off a steal here. Or should we read this as just another repudiation of Toronto's poor drafting abilities? Stemp the Nak was drafted 148th overall in 2003.<br /><br />I don't know whether this was a good deal or not. It is a symptom of being a Leaf fan, I think. We have not had the benefit of competent leadership for so long that every move now looks like a questionable move. I don't know. Ok. I like the trade. That is my official opinion.<br /><br />Postscript - Darren Dreger says John Ferguson Jr played a role in drafting the Stemp, which is poetic, I suppose. Also wondering why St. Louis would want to make this trade? Short term this seems a pretty obvious Leaf win and long term is murkier, but Leafs still have good chance at coming out ahead. Anyway why does someone need to win a trade?<br /><br />Can't we all<br /><br />just be friends?Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-25501033590816064882008-11-10T22:00:00.005-05:002008-11-11T01:20:15.370-05:00Easy Dirty Ugly Dirty MoneyI am always always happy when people start talking about a theoretical second Toronto team. As I see it, it makes sense, it makes a lot of sense and the only people in the NHL who disagree with that are the guys in charge of doling out the franchises. The NHL has its own plans for relocation but they don't involve Canada. It's an open secret that the Hockey Establishment wants a team in Kansas City, for all their secret and probably nefarious reasons. If anything has given me joy over the last few months (and it hasn't been the Leafs) it's been watching the NHL stumble around, caught with its pants down over its involvement with William "Boots" del Baggio and the sale of the Nashville Predators.<br /><br />Have you been following this? I hope so because it is a good story. I hope so because this gets dirty. I hope so because this is the kind of stuff people lose important high up hockey jobs over. Maybe this story is familiar to you. You remember Jim Balsillie and his attempted takeover of said Predators and you remember Gary Bettman's ham fisted refusal of all that good Canadian money. He didn't want Balsillie's money because Ballsy was going to uproot the team and take it to Hamilton, Ontario and Hamilton, Ontario is not a city where any self respecting hockey franchise would find itself out past dark.<br /><br />So the NHL turns down Balsillie and his guaranteed millions and instead turn to Boots del Baggio because Boots is buddy buddy with the hockeystocracy and Boots understands that the correct place to put an uprooted hockey franchise is not in Canada, where they probably already have enough hockey anyway, but in Kansas City where it is well known that local hockey fans have been in steep withdrawal-like symptoms since 1976, the year the Kansas City Scouts up rooted and headed for the snowier slopes of Colorado. (The Kansas City Scouts would be a pretty good name for a team if it was supposed to be parsed "the Kansas <span style="font-style: italic;">City Scouts</span>," you know?). A hockey team in the KC is in line with NHL thinking and though Boots can't scrounge up quite as much buillion as certain Canadian billionaires, he gets the coveted Nashville stake.<br /><br />This seems so obvious in retrospect, I'm sure the NHL is now realizing, but selling shares of their business to a man nicknamed "Boots" was a Bad idea (what are boots made for?). There is a new sports arena in Kansas City, built specially to attract any misplaced major league sports teams that might wander by and you maybe already know who owns that new arena. It's owned by Phil Anchutz, who also owns the LA Kings and probably a bazillion other things. So Anschutz owns an empty stadium in Kansas City. This story is great and it keeps getting better. This is the kind of Woodward and Bernstein stuff makes me want to enroll into j-school right now.<br /><br />You will or will not be surprised to learn that a man named "Boots" did not actually have enough money to buy his own hockey franchise. And by "enough", I should say "any". But gosh darn it this is America pre-credit crisis and there is always someone willing to give an enterprising entrepreneur with a questionable nickname a line of credit. In this case it was our friend Anschutz who stepped up to the plate, along with buddy Craig Leipold, owner of the Minnesota Wild, both of whom have probably played more than a few rounds of golf with Gary Bettman, if you catch my drift. Now we have two NHL owners lending money to a third soon-to-be-owner. And that third owner is one or two bad season in Nashville away from flipping the team into another city, into a building owned by his creditors.<br /><br />Business as usual until Boots del Baggio's con man act runs dry and he files for bankruptcy and we find out's he's in the hole for almost $60 million dollars. This wouldn't be so bad if Bettman's NHL didn't already have a track record of selling franchises to insolvent fraudsters and if the other guy offering to buy the Predators hadn't been so obviously a better choice.<br /><br />This is all of course, I hasten to mention, all pure SPECULATION and should be treated as such as it's all before the courts as we speak. Boots is up on fraud charges plus a messy bankruptcy. If you want to read more, keep your eye on your local drugstore's literature section under legal thrillers, if you know what I mean.<br /><br />It's also interesting to note that because Boots' creditors include two NHL owners in Anschutz and Leipold, those two may now theoretically own part of the Nashville Predators, which would obviously go against NHL bylaws. One more thing to think about.<br /><br />I hope this gets ugly. This might have heavy fallout on Gary Bettman. This might cost Bettman his job. This might be the best worst mistake the NHL ever made.Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-70457710727881965482008-09-29T22:22:00.004-04:002008-11-10T23:24:12.933-05:00Life, Universe + EverythingI guess I was secretly hoping that the Leafs would be that team that goes 10-1 in the preseason and 26-52 during the real one, but at least no one can accuse these guys of having any pretension of greatness. I appreciate honesty, I think, and truth in sports is hard to come by. The Leafs are as honest an organization as you will find these days. It's a nice change, actually. It's like, with no chance at a Cup, everyone can just be real with each other, just be honest, just be like, hey man, I never get a chance to say this but I really appreciate all the little things you do, there's no more pretending and we can sit back and laugh and share a beer and we can make jokes about McCabe that we don't really mean because he had some pretty good years even if it didn't end all that well and god I hope he does well in Florida because he's a bang up guy I don't care what any of you say.<br /><br />This is going to be a chill season. This is your last summer before college, you know? Take it easy, don't strain yourself. Figure some things out. The Leafs will still be there when you're done.Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-78125073508140673662008-09-11T22:53:00.000-04:002008-11-10T23:24:12.934-05:00Conspiracy TheoriesHey this cool: When the Leafs finish 26th or 25th this season, you know, just good enough to be out of of first pick contention, anyway, when they have the 5th pick again guess who is projecting out at 5th? It's Brayden Schenn, lil bro of Luke Schenn, the Leafs first round pick at the last draft. Brayden is a (surprise) physical centre playing for the Wheat Kings.<br /><br />You know people tell me that there is no plan in Toronto, but then I see this and I just have to laugh at them. No plan? You telling me this stuff happens by <span style="font-style: italic;">coincidence</span>?Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-65793368687868059072008-09-10T22:07:00.003-04:002008-11-10T23:24:12.935-05:00We are looking at a new kind of "Winning"This is going to be a good year, I think, for the Toronto Maple Leafs. Ha ha! Not in terms of wins or losses or whatever arbitrary bullshit you are used to measuring the success of your sports teams; no, this season is going to require a completely new definition of the word "good". But that's ok. If you are anal retentive or whatever I guess you might say that Leafs are in for a "bad" season, but then, what is "bad" if not a completely false idea set up by the "winners" in life to validate their own futile and largely empty accomplishments? Exactly! I'm glad you agree.<br /><br />So the Leafs are going to "bad" this season, by which I mean to say that they will not win very many games, and there are those out there, still stuck measuring success in completely obsolete terms, "Games Won" and "Goals Allowed" and "Powerplay Goals For," who will see this as a failing. Ok. Not everyone is perfect, say, like me, and I understand that not every Leaf fan has quite caught up to my advanced Nirvana-esque state of Hockey tranquility. That's ok too! Don't worry about it. Leaf fans have never been noted for their intelligence anyway! So it's not personal.<br /><br />If you want a playoff team to cheer for, might I suggest Montreal? They are a pretty good team, I think, and hardly anyone really cares about that rivalry anymore. I know it won't be easy, because it is easy to get stuck in the past when you are a Leafs fan. After all, some of the best moments in Maple Leaf history could arguably be said to have happened in the past! For example: Stanley Cups.<br /><br />The Leafs are not going to win the Stanley Cup this year. Some people probably consider the Cup to be a measure of success. Leaf fans! Don't listen to them. It has been forty years since the last Stanley Cup, and we've turned out pretty ok. What is another five or ten extra years of waiting? Will it not taste as sweet? Sweeter even, just ask the Boston Red Sox, those famous losers who could only keep their streak going 86 years, didn't even have the fortitude to push it to a hundred, and people call them "winners". I don't know. I just don't.<br /><br />Don't get hung up on Mats Sundin. He was part of the problem, remember? He's the one who picked this team up and dragged it kicking to the end of the season and for what? Just heartbreak and trauma and nothing good. We don't need that and we don't need him. If the Leafs are "bad" then there is no risk. Sundin is risk. Let him sign with Montreal or New York or Vancouver and maybe he can be happy and we can be happy and live vicariously through his new team.<br /><br />The point of this season is to lose. Never forget that. It will be difficult, I understand. You will see this team rally in the third period from two goals down and force overtime and your primitive lizard brain instincts will kick in and you will want to cheer so hard. You will watch them outscore Ottawa by embarrassing margins and you will want to crow and stick it to very jerkass Sens fan you know.<br /><br />Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Success will be measured in the Loss column. Readjust your self accordingly, savvy Leaf fan, and maybe we can enjoy this season, together.Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-35883154530823621442008-09-01T01:16:00.006-04:002008-11-10T23:26:05.767-05:00I don't want to play anymoreHere's the dilemma the Jays marketing arm must be running into: how do you sell a product that every Jays fans has already seen before? We've seen this season before is the problem. We know how it ends. You don't make headlines by tanking out in August. But look, it is another September, and oh golly the Jays are out of contention, again, but whatever we have next year and good prospects and whatta pitching staff hey guys? Just imagine what the season woulda been like without all those- haha I won't insult you with that word. The Jays are overpaid and boring. They can pitch but they can't hit, and even with a feel good love guru new manager there is no life at this party. And it's worse because we got to see Tampa Bay shoot past us for the first time, like worrying about New York and Boston wasn't bad enough. Ten years ago Tampa Bay was awful and the Jay's were mediocre. Today Tampa Bay is amazing, and Toronto is still just mediocre, the team that gets sympathy votes at the beginning of each season from sportswriters, "well, a darkhorse to watch maybe," yeah watch them spin their wheels for three straight seasons.<br /><br />Our only consolation is a new GM next year, and won't we be happy to hear him say, "well obviously we need to cut payroll and compete on a budget, just look at what teams like Tampa are able to accomplish with so little," and then we get a re-made farm system (allow three to five years) and before you know it our new GM is wearing expensive sun glasses and being an arrogant dick to fans.<br /><br />Anyway all this is to say that I am happy to see that the Jays traded David Eckstein today but I am still pretty pissed that he was ever signed in the first place. I don't get to be right very often so let me quote myself, briefly, from what I wrote nine momentous months ago when Mr. Eckstein was signed: "<span style="font-style: italic;">Essentially now the Jays have pitched out 4.5 million dollars for a utility infielder because even if Eckstein starts the season at short you have to imagine that by September that somebody will have become frustrated enough to put MacDonald back where he belongs...</span>" (even when I am right I am wrong; it is of course Marco Scutaro who made Eckstein unnecessary).<br /><br />This should have been the Jays year to make noise. They had the payroll and the pitchers and apparently a new winning attitude but the warning signs were there in the off season as we watched Ricciardi stumble around signing players ad <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span>hoc. He was trying to save his job of course, using his familiar throw spare part players against the wall and hope somebody sticks strategy.<br /><br />Why do we put up so much mediocrity. The Jays will finish well out of contention this year, the Leafs will be happy if they end up dead last, and the Raptors will squeeze into the playoffs again but only because the NBA's tendency towards bad teams so outweighs Toronto's.<br /><br /><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span> Anyway, all this negativity is no good for anyone so good night.Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-10089372232700850862008-06-09T22:56:00.005-04:002008-06-10T00:46:38.434-04:00Sorry Canada, and hockey fans in the United States and NewfoundlandIf you have somehow managed to avoid any contact with any of the 500 arms of the Bell Globemedia empire, then you probably don't know that CTV is Canadian hockey's most recent saviour, and shouldn't we be all glad and thankful for them huh? Awfully kind of them to buy the rights to <span style="font-style: italic;">that</span> song, as if there was any other way this sordid loogey on Canadian history was going to end.<br /><br />So now TSN's Wednesday night hockey (Wednesday!), steeped in tradition and dignity as it already is, will be graced by those familiar strains, guaranteed to add gravitas and history to any broadcast or cellphone that spouts it. And what's really worse is now they own it forever because there is no way CTV will ever do something stupid like argue the details with the people who own The Friggin Hockey Theme because who would ever be that dense? Who would do that? I know, it is insane to think that there could be a broadcasting organization out there that would make a hash of negotiations with a piece of Canadian culture so indelibly tied to hockey and history. Can you even begin to imagine what kind of publicly funded disaster of of a national broadcaster would be capable of such a faux pas?<br /><br />>:(<br /><br />Endnotes - Maybe you are a girl or guy who has a deep, but unhealthy obsession with goalie masks? Then you probably already know about this: <a style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);" href="http://www.goaliesarchive.com/masks.html"><span id="gtbmisp_1" style="border: 0pt none ; margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt; background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 50%; font-family: serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; font-size: 100%; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; position: static; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial; text-align: left; text-indent: 0pt; text-transform: none; text-decoration: underline; cursor: pointer;">goaliesarchive.com</span>/<span id="gtbmisp_2" style="border: 0pt none ; margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt; background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 50%; font-family: serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; font-size: 100%; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; position: static; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial; text-align: left; text-indent: 0pt; text-transform: none; text-decoration: underline; cursor: pointer;">masks.html</span></a>. Pretty rad! Have you ever really looked at Evgeni Nabokov's mask? It is kinda creepyJasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-45677019960125521522008-06-02T01:02:00.002-04:002008-11-10T23:24:50.244-05:00Things could get HAIRYI picked Pittsburgh to win the Cup, which has unraveled pretty completely now, though I should have known better; my vote of confidence has been a virtual kiss of death for hockey teams this spring. But maybe a Detroit victory is for the best. Perhaps delaying Sidney Crosby's first Stanley Cup is in all of our better interests. Perhaps we don't need iconic photographs of him, the Stanley Cup, and that unfortunate playoff beard lingering for the rest of his career. Guy looks like he's ready for a prom in Louiseville, all picking up your daughter in his dad's '86 Chevy Silverado, all blue tuxedos and Jim Beam aftershave, Jordan Staal following behind in his horse drawn carriage starchy white shirts and suspenders, wide black hat, the good Amish boy that he is.<br /><br />Anyway.<br /><br />They say defense wins championships, but uh, the obvious correlation here is championship calibre beards are what win championships.Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-90379854400995394462008-05-27T11:40:00.000-04:002008-11-10T23:28:08.891-05:00Better Burke DaysThis is maybe a rethinking of the criticism I leveled at Maple Leaf management in their search for a GM. With every creeping day it seems more and more likely that Toronto's General Manger next year will be be less a strong and experienced man and more a collection of senior hockey people keeping the seat warm. The thought of leaving Cliff Fletcher in as an extended interim man got me riled up, I think justifiably, and I labeled this as just more of the same do-nothingness from the men in charge of this hockey team.<br /><br />But here's something else: the Leafs much publicized and talked about pursual and subsequent rejection by Anaheim tough guy Brian Burke was the fault of not Burke, who by all reports wanted the Toronto job, but was instead at the insistence of Gary Bettman who has developed a near puritanical distaste for tampering in his league. Burke is under contract for another year, so Anaheim ownership was under no obligation to let him go, but in the interest of healthy working environments, you would think that letting the man who won you Stanley Cup go would be best for all parties. The story goes though, that it was Bettman doing his own special brand of tampering that led Henry Samueli to quash the Leafs' request, in the interest of preserving the sanctity of NHL contracts.<br /><br />So Gary Bettman vetoes any Burke movement, thereby ensuring that at the end of the next season, Burke is in any city other than Anaheim, and if the Leafs have anything to say about it, that city will be Toronto. They've already started greasing the wheels; that's why Burke's former wingman Dave Nonis is in talks to take a senior management position. Is this, and this is hard to even put into words, but is this MLSE being clever? I'm not used to seeing astute and long range plans being put forth by the hockey side of the operation so it's hard to say, but if hiring Nonis is the Leafs unsubtle up yours to the commish, a sort of above board and quite transparent tampering that is hard for anyone to prove and punish, then I don't know what to say. Screw you Gary Bettman, for one, but that is hardly an original sentiment. <br /><br />I'd still rather see the Leafs commit to a real GM for next season and avoid a long winter of endless Brian Burke speculation, but if it ended in some sort of confrontation between the Leafs and the Commissioner well, at least that is high entertainment right there.<br /><br />I've been listening to Bob McGown too much.Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25701113.post-78802555434605274952008-05-26T11:04:00.002-04:002008-11-10T23:28:08.893-05:00Head for the hills, the Canadians are comingPity any poor fan of English soccer stuck cheering for Leeds United, they don't even know what's about to hit them. People are reporting from both sides of the pond that Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment, the sports holding company last seen putting forty years between championship hockey teams, is now extending its gaze outward. Having conquered just about every sporting mountain there is to climb here in Toronto (money making hockey team, competitive basketball team, a Major League Soccer team with actual fans, and the groundwork for a future NFL team) this city must seem all of a sudden rather provincial. How better to extend the MLSE brand than to gain entrance to that playground of Russian oligarchs, oil rich Arabs and bored Americans, the English Premiership?<br /><br />Of course MLSE has some work to do to make it that far. Leeds United, the unfortunate soccer team that has become choice number one for MLSE's great European soccer experiment, is not currently playing in England's top league; regulation has seen them tumble down two rungs to the third division, League One. But bad teams are nothing new to MLSE, it's the turn around that seems to give them difficulty.<br /><br />Will Leeds fans take heart at this news? Going on nothing but a Wikipedia page MLSE certainly looks solid enough. Who wouldn't want their team owned by an organization with dollars and clout?<br /><br />I don't want to be the petty, older child, jealous at his new sibling, but I don't like this at all. Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment has a hard enough time with the Maple Leaf aspect of their business, their crown jewel, the one aspect that any one ever expects anything from, and now it's time to invest in English football? The Premiership is serious business, and Leeds fans have an expectation that that is where their club belongs. They deserve an owner with a commitment to winning, who has a stake in the team, who understands the sport and what it takes to win.<br /><br />Come to think about it, so do the Maple Leafs.Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18252160998055338779noreply@blogger.com1