No Stanley Cups Allowed

Yes but will it be in 3D?

2010-02-01T13:59:00.004-05:00

Calgary, Alta - The Toronto Maple Leafs have officially announced that they will be reprising their role as "the Toronto Maple Leafs" in the upcoming remake of the 1992 sports classic, "Doug Gilmour, Jamie Macoun, Ric Nattress, Kent Manderville and Rick Wamsley for Gary Leeman, Alexander Godynyuk, Jeff Reese, Michel Petit and Craig Berube." The original was a flop on release in Calgary, but found an instant home among critics and audiences alike in Toronto. Studio executives say they are still in talks with the other principle lead from the 1992 flick, the Calgary Flames. The film is being described as a "re-imaging" of the franchise and is tentatively titled "Dion Phaneuf, Fredrik Sjostrom and Keith Aulie for Ian White, Matt Stajan, Niklas Hagman and Jamal Mayers." Sources report that discussions have stalled over the treatment of the Calgary Flames' character, "the Calgary Flames". "Even at the time I was thinking, who wrote this crap?" the Flames are quoted as saying. "That character was so completely unbelievable, what kind of hockey team acts like that?"

Start calling Stajan "The Big Stage" you jerks

2009-12-12T21:13:00.006-05:00

Ok so if my reading of the Maple Leafzeitgeist is correct, this might be Matt Stajan's last season in Toronto. This means I need to ramp up my one man crusade to nickname him Matt "Big Stage" Stajan before it's too late.

Stajan is quietly one of my favourite Leafs. It started with his first game, the last game of the 02/03 in which he scored a breakaway goal against Ottawa. This is how legends are born. He never really "broke out" in the traditional sense and he never really lived up to the Art Ross Trophy he won for me in NHL 2005, but he's turned into a solid, if perhaps not Kessel-linemate worthy player for Toronto. He also has a habit of scoring big goals (like my anecdotal evidence is going to convince you, but he did just score the game winning goal against Washington).

Anyway I don't know how this works. Nicknames should grow organically (in exactly the way that Jonas Gustavsson's did not) but this feels fundamentally too important to leave to chance. Consider this: Every hockey player needs a nickname, and if we don't act, if we do not consciously and literally draw a line in the ice now, then we are dooming future hockey generations to a world where no one goes farther than adding "-er" to players' names and calling it a day. Stajer?

Granted Stajan has a nickname, I guess, but "Ragin' Stajan" is a fundamentally lame nickname. There is nothing "Ragin'" about Stajan, which means at best the nick' is working off a lazy rhyme scheme and a weaksauce sense of irony, and as I hope you'll agree, the business of sports nicknames is no place for irony. Imagine if Brian Sutter had been kidding when he called Doug Gilmour "Killer"?

Blogosphere, my request is simple: make "Big Stage" Stajan a thing. Make it my Christmas miracle.

Erratica:

-This guy suggests Matt Stajan's nickname be Rudyard Kipling. I like his style.

-There's this guy who shows up on HNIC and I don't know his name but he's got this Droopy dog thing going on with his sad eyes and unshaven face and he really bums me out. TV shouldn't make me feel this way, CBC, get rid of him.

Things that give me hope:

2009-10-25T23:00:00.003-04:00

Given an infinite number of Toronto Maple Leaf teams playing an infinite number of seasons, we should expect an 82 game losing streak eventually. It is exceedingly unlikely however, that that will happen this year. I don't want to commit the gambler's fallacy, but the Leafs must be, in some larger cosmic sense, due. In these happy days of modern athletes the difference between professional sports team A and professional sports team B is one of inches and nuance. That's my attitude now at least: the Leafs are not perhaps, fundamentally, a good team, but they are also, fundamentally, not a terrible team. Even bad teams have nights when the puck bounces their way. Not every team the Leafs face will have Roberto Luongo backstopping them.

I remain, as ever, doe-eyed and hopeful.

How did you spend your third period?

2009-10-13T01:43:00.002-04:00

It's important to say something nice first. Civility and respect never go out of style. The Leafs played a pretty good second period: they were watchable and competitive. Jason Blake scored a nice goal that scored points for technical difficulty and they were within one goal by period's end. Ok! Let's not get carried away with ourselves.

Sean Avery scored to open the third period, and I changed the channel. Oh that Dexter! He's serial killer and a father? How does he manage?

I forgot the most obvious reason I want Toronto to be competitive this year: Boston has our first round pick. There's no incentive to a last place finish. Whether that was by design or not (Brian Burke is inscrutable) is besides the point: the Leafs are swinging from the trapeze bars with no safety net below them.

So, uh, let's go Leafs, I guess.

Toronto's "Goaltending" "Dilemma"

2009-10-08T02:12:00.003-04:00

Toronto doesn't have a goaltending problem, it has a "not very good team" problem. After Tuesday's snoozer of a loss ("snoozer" in this case is not a boring sports writing cliche for describing a boring or uneventful game - I fell asleep somewhere in the third period) I hope we can retire this false goalie dilemma. Instead of, "who's going to start in net tonight?" a more interesting question might be, "who's going to score goals tonight?" Besides Matt "Big Stage" Stajan, and the line of Mitchell, Wallin, and Stalberg, the Leafs have nothing going on.

At least we're not Canucks fans though right? High expectations are the worst.

Here's A Bold September Prediction: Leafs Make Playoffs!

2009-09-29T20:44:00.006-04:00

September is the best month of the year to be a fan of the Toronto Leafs. Consider this one telling statistic: the Leafs have never lost a regular season game in September.

September is my favourite hockey month because it is the only month of the year where I can, semi-seriously, say things like this: "Toronto looks like a pretty good team this year, and if things come together, I can see them finishing seventh or eighth in the Eastern Conference."

Eighth place! A gentleman's tenth, a nice way of saying, "Slow down there tubby, we're not on the moon yet." But maybe! The Leafs have good, young (!) players, oodles of defencemen and a GM and coach who both seem generally competent with regards to frozen ponds. Better than all that is this: This is a team with a direction. For the first time in a long time there is a Plan in place, a coherence to everything this team does. I may not agree with every move Brian Burke makes, but I also feel confidant that when he does do something, it's with a higher purpose in mind, a long term plan. If Burke is confidant in his actions, then so am I.

Here's what it comes down to: I want the Leafs to win games this year. Last year, I didn't. Brian Burke has given Toronto its team back. Ok! Let's watch some friggin hockey.

Congrats NHL!

2009-06-16T01:10:00.003-04:00

Congratulations National Hockey League! You remain the proud owner of one (1) insolvent professional ice hockey organization located in beautiful, sunny suburban Glendale, Arizona. I hope you make good use of it! If I were a real estate agent, I might call it a "fixer-upper". The place just needs some "TLC" and a little "elbow grease". Hah hah!

There are going to be a lot of angry Canadians when you finally play your hand and have the Coyotes move to Kansas City, or Des Moines, or Boise or wherever it is the official NHL expansion plan calls for a team to be settled. Just a heads up. We're all adults here! We can read balance sheets. When you finally go back to making decisions based on cold financial logic, I think we can agree that the Phoenix Coyotes are not part of any hockey future. But keep pretending they are. I'm sure it comforts the 500 hockey fans in the great state of Arizona and I'm definitely sure it comforts the people running Glendale, who are going to be left holding one massize boner in the form of the Jobing.com Arena when you do up root and leave.

Have Lid, Will Play

2009-05-15T15:39:00.004-04:00

Niclas Havelid will play his hockey in Sweden next season. This is not important. I'm sorry you had to read it.

Gary Bettman is a knob

2009-05-14T23:46:00.004-04:00

When the NHL puts out a statement describing Jim Balsillie's latest stab at the windmill as a "sham," we should probably listen. This is a league that sold a franchise to a guy named "Boots." The NHL knows all about sham owners. They know what they are talking about.

A quick chat with Larry T-Bomb

2009-02-11T14:44:00.000-05:00

The following conversation took place a few months ago over the phone. I don't know how legal this is. I mean, I don't think Larry knew I was recording him, but in this day and age it's basically an unspoken assumption right?

LT: Jay! Guess who.
JV: Sorry?
LT: "Sorry?" I don't like that word Jay, makes you sound weak.
JV: Oh hey Larry, I was just- it's kinda early Larry.
LT: Early? Do you know how much sudoku I've done this morning? Jay you aren't going to make VP of anything by sleeping in till 6.
JV: I don't work for you Larry.
LT: But you're an honest guy Jay, a really honest guy and I appreciate that. You won't make VP of anything with that kind of honesty but you're good to have around. Anyway, look I want your opinion.
JV: I have lots of opinions. For example, I saw this movie the other day about this chimpanzee who learns to skate and-
LT: Jay, I know you're young. You obviously don't remember Tampa's first season. The league has bylaws against that kind of thing now. Come on, give me something I can use.
JV: Ok well, I was also thinking about how every one loves penguins right?
LT: I don't. They waddle around in their coat tails thinking they're better than me. But my grandkids love them, so I concede your point.
JV: Right. So in between periods you could release a flock of penguins and some frozen fish into the rink. Kids would love it. Oh, you could dress them up in little penguin sized jerseys too and then auction them off for charity.
LT: Auction the penguins? I'd have to check that with Legal.
JV: No, I meant the jerseys. Auction the jerseys.
LT: Don't know if that would work here Jay, but I'll pass the idea onto Mario, see what he can do with it. Speaking of, I have a quick nine with him in ten. I'll let you know what he thinks.
JV: Ok-

*Click*

Dispatches from afar

2009-02-09T00:41:00.002-05:00

Machu Pichu, Peru - 10:36 PM February 6, 2009

I met a Toronto guy today. Another one. This place is lousy with them. You wont be surprised when I tell you Kevin's another expat Leafs fan. He said he was from Collingwood, I think. A high school history teacher. He's taking his sabbatical, “Nothing keeping me in the city these days, you know?” He’s been knocking off landmarks all over the world. He just spent a week in Rio. Europe before that. Saw some churches. He sold his season tickets to finance everything. Heard that one before too. Those tickets were in the family for years and years, he said. Him and his brother, they split the proceeds, split town, and then split up in Berlin. Kevin lowers his voice, “he was into this weird sex thing.”

I try to change the subject, put the conversation somewhere safer. “You hear Blake is doing good these days?” Kevin’s eyes cloud over, he shows a little discomfort, but then he shakes his head and he’s smiling amicably again. “Sorry?” “Jason Blake? He leads the team in points actually, and yeah I know that’s not saying-” “Oh you’re talking about h-h-” “Hockey, yeah.” He looks like he is sweating, though it is early morning on the summit and the air is cool. He runs a hand through his thinning hair. He stammers, “I haven’t been following the uh, the uh…” “Not too many bars in Lima showing Hockey Night, right?” I laugh.

Kevin apologises, makes an excuse. He needs to find his tour guide. “But it was good seeing a friendly face.” His eye is twitching. He turns and leaves. “I’m sorry,” I want to shout. There is a reason men search out ruins built on the world’s rooftop. There is a reason men drown themselves in bizarre carnal acts. Who was I to pack his troubles into a novelty tin of peanuts? Nobody who runs that far needs those snakes in his face.

And they say Russians don't understand democracy!

2008-12-06T01:53:00.004-05:00

I deliberated long and hard, but here's my picks for the KHL's all star game. It's Team Russia Vs. Team World, by the way.

Team Yashin

G - Maxim Sokolov (Metallurg)

D - Alexei Zhitnik (Dinamo)

D - Darius Kasparaitis (SKA)

RW - Aleksey Morozov (Ak Bars)

C - Oleg Saprykin (CSKA)

LW - Alexander Radulov (Salavat Yulaev)

Team Jagr

G - Ray Emery (Atlant)

D - Magnus Johansson (Atlant)

D - Karl Rachunek (Dinamo)

RW - Jan Bulis (Atlant)

C - Branko Radivojević (Spartak)

LW - Nils Ekman (SKA)

I hope everyone can take a minute out of their busy schedules to reflect for a moment and vote. The website is at http://www.khl.ru/media/votes.php. Maybe you should ask Google to translate it for you first. Or not. It might be more exciting that way. Or maybe you feel the need to write someone in? Wade Dublielewicz would probably appreciate the support.

Leafs. Sharks. Pre-Game.

2008-12-02T22:48:00.003-05:00

GUYS CANADA IS IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS AND YOU WANT TO WATCH HOCKEY?

Maybe now would be a good time to bone up on the fundamentals of our cherished parliamentary democracy? A little less Lady Byng, and a little more King-Byng, you know? A little less Ken Dryden (397GP/258W/57L/2.24GA) and a little more Ken Dryden (Hon. MP -York Centre 2004-). A little less Justin Pogge, a little more Harper's prorogue is what I'm saying.

Sad-sack Sens survive despite sartorial sins

2008-11-28T00:53:00.003-05:00

I don't even have anything to say! The Ottawa Senators have an awful third jersey. It is lazy and boring and unpleasant to look at, but then, I guess it is pretty appropriate for the team that wears it, huh? Hah hah!

YEAH I WENT THERE

Committed Quebecers collude to cook corporate cook off

2008-11-26T17:56:00.007-05:00

Oh dear, another year, another tale of NHL All Star drama. I know! People say the All Star game is boring, and obviously it is, because it is an All Star game and I am not going to sit here and argue first principles with you, but suffice it to say that though the actual game may be unwatchable, the NHL is developing a decent knack for making the runnup at least notable. A couple years ago it was Rory Fitzpatrick buoyed by fans having fun with the NHL's vote now, vote often voting system (still waiting for that recount). The hockeystocracy was aghast of course, that is the twenty or so people left in the NHL who still attached any symbolic value to the honourific of "All Star."

And wouldn't you know it, those gosh darned fans are at it again, messing with the institution we(?) all hold dear. And this time most of them don't even speak English. It's Montreal Canadiens fans stuffing the ballots now, trying to pull off a ballsy All Star starting line sweep, six for six, all Montreal. Zut Alor! It's like, don't fans even care about hockey? Don't they take this stuff seriously? Do they think online balloting is some sort of joke?

Power to the people, sez I. Haven't you ever popped in an NHL game and squared your colours off against say, an All Star squad, or even Team Canada? (Personally, I haven't but it has more to do with existential issues than anything else. Mats! You can't be in two places at once! etc etc) Haven't you ever shot the breeze, arguing whether your team could actually take on a team of All-Stars? People talk like that, right? Well anyway, Montreal fans have a chance to find that out now, and people want to take that away from them? Every time something interesting threatens to happen in this league, somebody has to suck the air out of the room and kick a few puppies for good measure. It's Montreal's 100th anniversary. The All Star game is unthinkably boring. Why don't you lighten up. So what Tim Thomas starts the second period and not the first. So what Kovalev is a bum. You don't want to see Montreal fans - Montreal fans in Montreal cheering for six Montreal players because it maybe ruins some sort of tradition? Hey, you know where to cast your vote. Write your own voting program and put it to work. This is democracy, deal with it.

Ok! That's another strawman torn to pieces. Carry on.

Leafs Lob Lollygagging Layabouts To 'Louis for Lee

2008-11-24T18:02:00.004-05:00

Lee Stempniak for Carlo Colaiacovo and Alex Steen.

My gut reaction was positive. I don't know much about Stumpy II but I know enough to be glad he's Leaf. A legit First Line player even. 3 goals, 10 assists 14 games. 11 of those points in his last seven games. Stempniak is a good addition.

But, this is Toronto so no deal is ever simple. It's fair to ask why this trade happened at all with the eminent hiring of a certain Brian Burke looming over the city. Why is Cliff Fletcher dealing players now?

It's also sad to see that the two players who are shipping out were, if you'll recall, as recently as October of this year, a big part of the future of this team. Colaiacovo and Steen are both first round Toronto picks. It's disappointing that Colaiacovo will never got the chance at a full season as Leaf. It's disappointing that Alex Steen will never be that franchise stabilising captain in Toronto. Both players are under performing magnificently this season so in that sense Fletch might have pulled off a steal here. Or should we read this as just another repudiation of Toronto's poor drafting abilities? Stemp the Nak was drafted 148th overall in 2003.

I don't know whether this was a good deal or not. It is a symptom of being a Leaf fan, I think. We have not had the benefit of competent leadership for so long that every move now looks like a questionable move. I don't know. Ok. I like the trade. That is my official opinion.

Postscript - Darren Dreger says John Ferguson Jr played a role in drafting the Stemp, which is poetic, I suppose. Also wondering why St. Louis would want to make this trade? Short term this seems a pretty obvious Leaf win and long term is murkier, but Leafs still have good chance at coming out ahead. Anyway why does someone need to win a trade?

Can't we all

just be friends?

Easy Dirty Ugly Dirty Money

2008-11-10T22:00:00.005-05:00

I am always always happy when people start talking about a theoretical second Toronto team. As I see it, it makes sense, it makes a lot of sense and the only people in the NHL who disagree with that are the guys in charge of doling out the franchises. The NHL has its own plans for relocation but they don't involve Canada. It's an open secret that the Hockey Establishment wants a team in Kansas City, for all their secret and probably nefarious reasons. If anything has given me joy over the last few months (and it hasn't been the Leafs) it's been watching the NHL stumble around, caught with its pants down over its involvement with William "Boots" del Baggio and the sale of the Nashville Predators.

Have you been following this? I hope so because it is a good story. I hope so because this gets dirty. I hope so because this is the kind of stuff people lose important high up hockey jobs over. Maybe this story is familiar to you. You remember Jim Balsillie and his attempted takeover of said Predators and you remember Gary Bettman's ham fisted refusal of all that good Canadian money. He didn't want Balsillie's money because Ballsy was going to uproot the team and take it to Hamilton, Ontario and Hamilton, Ontario is not a city where any self respecting hockey franchise would find itself out past dark.

So the NHL turns down Balsillie and his guaranteed millions and instead turn to Boots del Baggio because Boots is buddy buddy with the hockeystocracy and Boots understands that the correct place to put an uprooted hockey franchise is not in Canada, where they probably already have enough hockey anyway, but in Kansas City where it is well known that local hockey fans have been in steep withdrawal-like symptoms since 1976, the year the Kansas City Scouts up rooted and headed for the snowier slopes of Colorado. (The Kansas City Scouts would be a pretty good name for a team if it was supposed to be parsed "the Kansas City Scouts," you know?). A hockey team in the KC is in line with NHL thinking and though Boots can't scrounge up quite as much buillion as certain Canadian billionaires, he gets the coveted Nashville stake.

This seems so obvious in retrospect, I'm sure the NHL is now realizing, but selling shares of their business to a man nicknamed "Boots" was a Bad idea (what are boots made for?). There is a new sports arena in Kansas City, built specially to attract any misplaced major league sports teams that might wander by and you maybe already know who owns that new arena. It's owned by Phil Anchutz, who also owns the LA Kings and probably a bazillion other things. So Anschutz owns an empty stadium in Kansas City. This story is great and it keeps getting better. This is the kind of Woodward and Bernstein stuff makes me want to enroll into j-school right now.

You will or will not be surprised to learn that a man named "Boots" did not actually have enough money to buy his own hockey franchise. And by "enough", I should say "any". But gosh darn it this is America pre-credit crisis and there is always someone willing to give an enterprising entrepreneur with a questionable nickname a line of credit. In this case it was our friend Anschutz who stepped up to the plate, along with buddy Craig Leipold, owner of the Minnesota Wild, both of whom have probably played more than a few rounds of golf with Gary Bettman, if you catch my drift. Now we have two NHL owners lending money to a third soon-to-be-owner. And that third owner is one or two bad season in Nashville away from flipping the team into another city, into a building owned by his creditors.

Business as usual until Boots del Baggio's con man act runs dry and he files for bankruptcy and we find out's he's in the hole for almost $60 million dollars. This wouldn't be so bad if Bettman's NHL didn't already have a track record of selling franchises to insolvent fraudsters and if the other guy offering to buy the Predators hadn't been so obviously a better choice.

This is all of course, I hasten to mention, all pure SPECULATION and should be treated as such as it's all before the courts as we speak. Boots is up on fraud charges plus a messy bankruptcy. If you want to read more, keep your eye on your local drugstore's literature section under legal thrillers, if you know what I mean.

It's also interesting to note that because Boots' creditors include two NHL owners in Anschutz and Leipold, those two may now theoretically own part of the Nashville Predators, which would obviously go against NHL bylaws. One more thing to think about.

I hope this gets ugly. This might have heavy fallout on Gary Bettman. This might cost Bettman his job. This might be the best worst mistake the NHL ever made.

Life, Universe + Everything

2008-09-29T22:22:00.004-04:00

I guess I was secretly hoping that the Leafs would be that team that goes 10-1 in the preseason and 26-52 during the real one, but at least no one can accuse these guys of having any pretension of greatness. I appreciate honesty, I think, and truth in sports is hard to come by. The Leafs are as honest an organization as you will find these days. It's a nice change, actually. It's like, with no chance at a Cup, everyone can just be real with each other, just be honest, just be like, hey man, I never get a chance to say this but I really appreciate all the little things you do, there's no more pretending and we can sit back and laugh and share a beer and we can make jokes about McCabe that we don't really mean because he had some pretty good years even if it didn't end all that well and god I hope he does well in Florida because he's a bang up guy I don't care what any of you say.

This is going to be a chill season. This is your last summer before college, you know? Take it easy, don't strain yourself. Figure some things out. The Leafs will still be there when you're done.

Conspiracy Theories

2008-09-11T22:53:00.000-04:00

Hey this cool: When the Leafs finish 26th or 25th this season, you know, just good enough to be out of of first pick contention, anyway, when they have the 5th pick again guess who is projecting out at 5th? It's Brayden Schenn, lil bro of Luke Schenn, the Leafs first round pick at the last draft. Brayden is a (surprise) physical centre playing for the Wheat Kings.

You know people tell me that there is no plan in Toronto, but then I see this and I just have to laugh at them. No plan? You telling me this stuff happens by coincidence?

We are looking at a new kind of "Winning"

2008-09-10T22:07:00.003-04:00

This is going to be a good year, I think, for the Toronto Maple Leafs. Ha ha! Not in terms of wins or losses or whatever arbitrary bullshit you are used to measuring the success of your sports teams; no, this season is going to require a completely new definition of the word "good". But that's ok. If you are anal retentive or whatever I guess you might say that Leafs are in for a "bad" season, but then, what is "bad" if not a completely false idea set up by the "winners" in life to validate their own futile and largely empty accomplishments? Exactly! I'm glad you agree.

So the Leafs are going to "bad" this season, by which I mean to say that they will not win very many games, and there are those out there, still stuck measuring success in completely obsolete terms, "Games Won" and "Goals Allowed" and "Powerplay Goals For," who will see this as a failing. Ok. Not everyone is perfect, say, like me, and I understand that not every Leaf fan has quite caught up to my advanced Nirvana-esque state of Hockey tranquility. That's ok too! Don't worry about it. Leaf fans have never been noted for their intelligence anyway! So it's not personal.

If you want a playoff team to cheer for, might I suggest Montreal? They are a pretty good team, I think, and hardly anyone really cares about that rivalry anymore. I know it won't be easy, because it is easy to get stuck in the past when you are a Leafs fan. After all, some of the best moments in Maple Leaf history could arguably be said to have happened in the past! For example: Stanley Cups.

The Leafs are not going to win the Stanley Cup this year. Some people probably consider the Cup to be a measure of success. Leaf fans! Don't listen to them. It has been forty years since the last Stanley Cup, and we've turned out pretty ok. What is another five or ten extra years of waiting? Will it not taste as sweet? Sweeter even, just ask the Boston Red Sox, those famous losers who could only keep their streak going 86 years, didn't even have the fortitude to push it to a hundred, and people call them "winners". I don't know. I just don't.

Don't get hung up on Mats Sundin. He was part of the problem, remember? He's the one who picked this team up and dragged it kicking to the end of the season and for what? Just heartbreak and trauma and nothing good. We don't need that and we don't need him. If the Leafs are "bad" then there is no risk. Sundin is risk. Let him sign with Montreal or New York or Vancouver and maybe he can be happy and we can be happy and live vicariously through his new team.

The point of this season is to lose. Never forget that. It will be difficult, I understand. You will see this team rally in the third period from two goals down and force overtime and your primitive lizard brain instincts will kick in and you will want to cheer so hard. You will watch them outscore Ottawa by embarrassing margins and you will want to crow and stick it to very jerkass Sens fan you know.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Success will be measured in the Loss column. Readjust your self accordingly, savvy Leaf fan, and maybe we can enjoy this season, together.

I don't want to play anymore

2008-09-01T01:16:00.006-04:00

Here's the dilemma the Jays marketing arm must be running into: how do you sell a product that every Jays fans has already seen before? We've seen this season before is the problem. We know how it ends. You don't make headlines by tanking out in August. But look, it is another September, and oh golly the Jays are out of contention, again, but whatever we have next year and good prospects and whatta pitching staff hey guys? Just imagine what the season woulda been like without all those- haha I won't insult you with that word. The Jays are overpaid and boring. They can pitch but they can't hit, and even with a feel good love guru new manager there is no life at this party. And it's worse because we got to see Tampa Bay shoot past us for the first time, like worrying about New York and Boston wasn't bad enough. Ten years ago Tampa Bay was awful and the Jay's were mediocre. Today Tampa Bay is amazing, and Toronto is still just mediocre, the team that gets sympathy votes at the beginning of each season from sportswriters, "well, a darkhorse to watch maybe," yeah watch them spin their wheels for three straight seasons.

Our only consolation is a new GM next year, and won't we be happy to hear him say, "well obviously we need to cut payroll and compete on a budget, just look at what teams like Tampa are able to accomplish with so little," and then we get a re-made farm system (allow three to five years) and before you know it our new GM is wearing expensive sun glasses and being an arrogant dick to fans.

Anyway all this is to say that I am happy to see that the Jays traded David Eckstein today but I am still pretty pissed that he was ever signed in the first place. I don't get to be right very often so let me quote myself, briefly, from what I wrote nine momentous months ago when Mr. Eckstein was signed: "Essentially now the Jays have pitched out 4.5 million dollars for a utility infielder because even if Eckstein starts the season at short you have to imagine that by September that somebody will have become frustrated enough to put MacDonald back where he belongs..." (even when I am right I am wrong; it is of course Marco Scutaro who made Eckstein unnecessary).

This should have been the Jays year to make noise. They had the payroll and the pitchers and apparently a new winning attitude but the warning signs were there in the off season as we watched Ricciardi stumble around signing players ad hoc. He was trying to save his job of course, using his familiar throw spare part players against the wall and hope somebody sticks strategy.

Why do we put up so much mediocrity. The Jays will finish well out of contention this year, the Leafs will be happy if they end up dead last, and the Raptors will squeeze into the playoffs again but only because the NBA's tendency towards bad teams so outweighs Toronto's.

Anyway, all this negativity is no good for anyone so good night.

Sorry Canada, and hockey fans in the United States and Newfoundland

2008-06-09T22:56:00.005-04:00

If you have somehow managed to avoid any contact with any of the 500 arms of the Bell Globemedia empire, then you probably don't know that CTV is Canadian hockey's most recent saviour, and shouldn't we be all glad and thankful for them huh? Awfully kind of them to buy the rights to that song, as if there was any other way this sordid loogey on Canadian history was going to end.

So now TSN's Wednesday night hockey (Wednesday!), steeped in tradition and dignity as it already is, will be graced by those familiar strains, guaranteed to add gravitas and history to any broadcast or cellphone that spouts it. And what's really worse is now they own it forever because there is no way CTV will ever do something stupid like argue the details with the people who own The Friggin Hockey Theme because who would ever be that dense? Who would do that? I know, it is insane to think that there could be a broadcasting organization out there that would make a hash of negotiations with a piece of Canadian culture so indelibly tied to hockey and history. Can you even begin to imagine what kind of publicly funded disaster of of a national broadcaster would be capable of such a faux pas?

>:(

Endnotes - Maybe you are a girl or guy who has a deep, but unhealthy obsession with goalie masks? Then you probably already know about this: goaliesarchive.com/masks.html. Pretty rad! Have you ever really looked at Evgeni Nabokov's mask? It is kinda creepy

Things could get HAIRY

2008-06-02T01:02:00.002-04:00

I picked Pittsburgh to win the Cup, which has unraveled pretty completely now, though I should have known better; my vote of confidence has been a virtual kiss of death for hockey teams this spring. But maybe a Detroit victory is for the best. Perhaps delaying Sidney Crosby's first Stanley Cup is in all of our better interests. Perhaps we don't need iconic photographs of him, the Stanley Cup, and that unfortunate playoff beard lingering for the rest of his career. Guy looks like he's ready for a prom in Louiseville, all picking up your daughter in his dad's '86 Chevy Silverado, all blue tuxedos and Jim Beam aftershave, Jordan Staal following behind in his horse drawn carriage starchy white shirts and suspenders, wide black hat, the good Amish boy that he is.

Anyway.

They say defense wins championships, but uh, the obvious correlation here is championship calibre beards are what win championships.

Better Burke Days

2008-05-27T11:40:00.000-04:00

This is maybe a rethinking of the criticism I leveled at Maple Leaf management in their search for a GM. With every creeping day it seems more and more likely that Toronto's General Manger next year will be be less a strong and experienced man and more a collection of senior hockey people keeping the seat warm. The thought of leaving Cliff Fletcher in as an extended interim man got me riled up, I think justifiably, and I labeled this as just more of the same do-nothingness from the men in charge of this hockey team.

But here's something else: the Leafs much publicized and talked about pursual and subsequent rejection by Anaheim tough guy Brian Burke was the fault of not Burke, who by all reports wanted the Toronto job, but was instead at the insistence of Gary Bettman who has developed a near puritanical distaste for tampering in his league. Burke is under contract for another year, so Anaheim ownership was under no obligation to let him go, but in the interest of healthy working environments, you would think that letting the man who won you Stanley Cup go would be best for all parties. The story goes though, that it was Bettman doing his own special brand of tampering that led Henry Samueli to quash the Leafs' request, in the interest of preserving the sanctity of NHL contracts.

So Gary Bettman vetoes any Burke movement, thereby ensuring that at the end of the next season, Burke is in any city other than Anaheim, and if the Leafs have anything to say about it, that city will be Toronto. They've already started greasing the wheels; that's why Burke's former wingman Dave Nonis is in talks to take a senior management position. Is this, and this is hard to even put into words, but is this MLSE being clever? I'm not used to seeing astute and long range plans being put forth by the hockey side of the operation so it's hard to say, but if hiring Nonis is the Leafs unsubtle up yours to the commish, a sort of above board and quite transparent tampering that is hard for anyone to prove and punish, then I don't know what to say. Screw you Gary Bettman, for one, but that is hardly an original sentiment.

I'd still rather see the Leafs commit to a real GM for next season and avoid a long winter of endless Brian Burke speculation, but if it ended in some sort of confrontation between the Leafs and the Commissioner well, at least that is high entertainment right there.

I've been listening to Bob McGown too much.

Head for the hills, the Canadians are coming

2008-05-26T11:04:00.002-04:00

Pity any poor fan of English soccer stuck cheering for Leeds United, they don't even know what's about to hit them. People are reporting from both sides of the pond that Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment, the sports holding company last seen putting forty years between championship hockey teams, is now extending its gaze outward. Having conquered just about every sporting mountain there is to climb here in Toronto (money making hockey team, competitive basketball team, a Major League Soccer team with actual fans, and the groundwork for a future NFL team) this city must seem all of a sudden rather provincial. How better to extend the MLSE brand than to gain entrance to that playground of Russian oligarchs, oil rich Arabs and bored Americans, the English Premiership?

Of course MLSE has some work to do to make it that far. Leeds United, the unfortunate soccer team that has become choice number one for MLSE's great European soccer experiment, is not currently playing in England's top league; regulation has seen them tumble down two rungs to the third division, League One. But bad teams are nothing new to MLSE, it's the turn around that seems to give them difficulty.

Will Leeds fans take heart at this news? Going on nothing but a Wikipedia page MLSE certainly looks solid enough. Who wouldn't want their team owned by an organization with dollars and clout?

I don't want to be the petty, older child, jealous at his new sibling, but I don't like this at all. Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment has a hard enough time with the Maple Leaf aspect of their business, their crown jewel, the one aspect that any one ever expects anything from, and now it's time to invest in English football? The Premiership is serious business, and Leeds fans have an expectation that that is where their club belongs. They deserve an owner with a commitment to winning, who has a stake in the team, who understands the sport and what it takes to win.

Come to think about it, so do the Maple Leafs.

A Love Letter, Of Sorts

2008-05-08T14:32:00.002-04:00

Things looked, and I don't want to exaggerate here, but the day the Toronto Maple Leafs fired John Ferguson Jr, things looked good. There was optimism and there was hope and there was genuine reason for Toronto fans to think that for once, for once in a long time that maybe theirs would soon be a team not at the whim and drift of cluttered ownership and muddled and always contradictory vision, but that they would be able to cheer for a team that was moving forward both on the ice and off it. Richard Peddie said, "we'll get a hockey man with brass balls and vinegar in his blood and he is going to clean up Dodge City," or words to that affect, and there was that reason to think that those years of neglected drafts and overpaid veterans would be a thing of the past, something to be filed away and forgotten; along side other effluence of the early twenty first century, alongside Tila Tequila but before Transformers: The Movie, there, in resplendent , hidden glory, Toronto Maple Leaf teams, Crappy.

Every day since that first firing though, we've been given nothing but a file to wear away that ironclad hope. A search committee was formed, a search committee of two who were clearly in no great rush to complete the search. "We'll have a GM in place by September," Peddie informed us, as if the knowledge that MLSE's president thought that going through an entire off season with no one in charge of hockey decisions was somehow an acceptable way of rebuilding a broken franchise. Brian Burke's name was whispered as the golden grand slam that would save the franchise, and so we waited for Anaheim to be eliminated, diligently and patiently, assured with the knowledge that managing a hockey team in Toronto was definitely and obviously the dream job for any GM with his head screwed on right.

But Burke didn't happen, surprisingly or unsurprisingly, for whatever reason. That didn't faze the Leafs; I'm sure some of them were privately terrified of the thought of a demon like Burke telling them how to do hockey.

This was when I first heard the insidious whisper of an ugly idea begin to spread around. "Well," the thinking went, and to be sure it still goes today, "Burke is a free man in one more year, why don't we just wait for him? Why don't we just let Cliff Fletcher keep the job till then."

I suppose I understand the thinking behind this, but I don't like it. Burke would do something special for this team for sure, but he is not a superman, he is not the panacea we all need him to be. There are other GM's in the sea, and the idea of sacrificing a whole season, a whole season another completely capable GM could have spent putting his plan for Toronto in motion, to throw next season away and leave it all to Cliff to take care of in his doddering hands is such a completely Made in Toronto solution that we need to throw it out at once.

What could be more MLSE than doing nothing? Leaving Fletcher as GM, when we have heard so many times that he is just an interim guy, that he will not be in charge next year, to stick him with the full time job now is creepy and Orwellian in its doublespeak and is the most obvious move for Leaf management to do. What's easier than doing nothing? They sit back and say, "hey, it's worth the wait for Burke" (and then, only because this is Toronto, we'll watch as free agent Brian Burke signs somewhere else).

I don't believe MLSE will leave Fletcher in place, because just from a marketing stand point, even if this is the the Leafs and they could probably sell out the next twenty years of tickets if they just put them up for sale tomorrow, how do you sell a team that is saying "We'll get started next year"?

That's not to say the "wait for Burke" plan is not off the table. The latest proposed gambit involves Dave Nonis, ex of the Vancouver Canucks (and why they would fire the guy who pulled off Luongo for Bertuzzi I never understood) taking over from Cliff and then setting the table for Burke, his former boss.

The people talking this stuff are the people who give Leaf fans a bad name. The Nonis-to-Burke plan is pure Toronto arrogance, bright and shiny. Of course Dave Nonis would love to be GM for a year and of course he would love to go back to working for Brian Burke even if he has had a taste of the manger's chair because working for the Leafs and bringing them a Stanley Cup just transcends everything else and golly gosh if they wouldn't be lucky to be just working here in the first place, etc.

I am open to the idea of Nonis as GM because he seems like a competent guy capable of making creative trades, and more importantly because it would represent action and decisiveness on the part of MLSE, which is such a strange and dizzying concept that I might need a lie down if I keep thinking like that. But to suggest that Nonis would be ok with an interim job so that the man he replaced in Vancouver can then replace him seems like a stretch. I don't know Nonis at all, and I have no idea what his relationship was like with Burke, but on the surface at least, this seems like a mildly insulting proposition on the Leafs part.

The Leafs, obviously, and I shouldn't say obviously because to the people in charge it is obviously anything but obvious, but the Leafs need their guy in place by the entry draft, or else all claims to moving forward with unifying vision are null and void. Nonis could be that guy, Burke won't be, Fletcher should absolutely not be. Doug Wilson will also not be, and Ken Holland will be too busy enjoying a Stanley Cup. There are still lots of guys out there. Doug Armstrong is more than capable, Neil Smith would love a job I'm sure, and Colin Campbell's name always seems to appear somewhere.

In the end, who knows what's going to happen. The Leafs promised change when they fired Ferguson, but since then it's just been more of the same out of Toronto. I still like to think things will turn out right, I mean you have to hope, or why bother with any of this at all. Another year of Fletcher, even if it is in service of the greater Burke good, is the wrong message to be sending to fans. I wish Burke's name would be dropped, but if the Leafs do in fact lure Nonis, or if Fletcher is in fact named full time interim, then we are in for a very, very long year of speculation.

Endnotes - I won't say anything bad about Paul Maurice. I watched his press conference today (school's out and goodness knows there is nothing better I could have been doing) and I realized how little really knew about him. Maurice seems like a genuinely nice human being, and while his firing was inevitable, I guess, perhaps it didn't have to unavoidable. Even if you were like me and thought Andrew Raycroft could have used a good five or six or twenty more starts down the stretch, you have to admire the way his team never gave up.

I am not good at this game at all

2008-04-06T00:03:00.002-04:00

You don't have to bother checking the archives, but it turns out I am awful at making predictions. 11-16! What the hell is that! Why am I even allowed to have an opinion about hockey? Shouldn't there be some sort of test? I could have gotten the same results with a print out and a dart board.

Defies explanation how bad I was. Well, I wasted a spot on Toronto, but I would have done that even if their top line was Mats Sundin and a pair of well trained golden retrievers. And who saw Montreal being as good as they are? That wasn't even fair. And Washington beating out Carolina on the last day? And Boston making the playoffs by boring their competition into submission? Not fair, not fair, not fair.

Whatever. I'm not sure I trust myself to make playoff predictions though. Or maybe I should, and then you can just make the opposite pick and you probably won't do worse than 75% success.

A Manifesto, Or Something

2008-03-30T00:50:00.003-04:00

Sometimes you just have to get angry. If ever there was a time to get angry dear Leaf fans, it is now. This isn't about 40 years of no Stanley Cups. Most Leafs fans weren't old enough, or alive enough, to appreciate that last one. This wouldn't matter if the drought was ten years, or a hundred years. I don't care about Howard Ballard, Punch Imlach, I'm not angry with them. I'm angry, and so too should you be, frail reader, at the current cacophony of clowns running this team.

There is a sentiment out there, I think, that says that the Leafs many sins this year have been absolved, forgiven and forgotten for the last minute effort and grit they've shown over the last month. Maybe, maybe if this was your first time cheering for the Leafs, maybe if you weren't here last year, the year before that. Remember J.S Aubin and the undefeated run to the end of the season? What good did that do us? And now we're being treated to a redux, an encore performance, because gosh if we all didn't enjoy it last time. It pisses me off ok, watching this team bumble and stumble all season long, and then now, all of a sudden, with their playoff hopes essentially dead, now they decide to show up, now they play hard, now they want to be taken seriously. All too late. It's nice that Pavel Kubina has rediscovered his ability to score, but where was that in December? Back when it counted this team folded, but when the games stopped mattering, suddenly they start winning. Nuh-uh. Sorry if I'm not impressed.

So much about this team is frustrating; so much about this team makes me want to give up and cheer for Montreal. A good fan should support their team through thick and thin, but that doesn't mean we can't look critically, can't pause to re-evaluate whether our loyalty is being well spent. No where in our contract does it say we need check our heads at the door, only heart past this point. It's not about winning and losing; if the Leafs were the worst team in the league (and who's to say they aren't already?) I could still cheer for them, if I thought there was at least some design to it, that there was a plan in place, that there was some sort of hope for the future. But here we are, three years removed from the lockout, and witnessing our third straight thoroughly mediocre team. The Leafs will miss the playoffs again, pick 12thish again. Barring miracle trades by our as yet unnamed future messiah/GM, the roster will still be built around the same stiffs that pretended to give a crap for the first four and a half months of this season.

I wish more Leaf fans would try to hold this organization responsible for the inbred sense of complacency that pervades this team. There are no excuses why a hockey team in Toronto should not be consistently at the top of the standings. This is not an organization that ever has to worry about it's next dollar, and yet we continue to settle for mediocrity.

Our only gem of hope is this white knight general manager who will soon come riding into town. We've heard that this man will have only the highest pedigree, that this man will be a guy who understands hockey, who can make tough decisions, who won't have to listen to advice from a board of governors adept at making money, but useless at winning hockey games. If it wasn't for this prospect, I probably wouldn't be writing any of this, because I would have already given up. I'm writing this because I care. I want to see this team do well.

The Blue Jays start next week. You'll excuse me if I don't feel like thinking about the Leafs for awhile.

God we're all the loser here

2008-03-25T23:29:00.004-04:00

Good good good. The Boston Bruins ended this still born playoff run before it got too silly. I'd like to hope that this loss will finally shut people up and that the Leafs can now get back to losing games like they should have been doing for the last month. It won't shut every one up - I know the headlines tomorrow won't play this as the deathblow, just another "setback" for the Leafs' "slim" hopes.

But what else is new. I've been keeping a low profile here while the Leafs have been winning because I just didn't know how to spin it. I knew deep down that they weren't going to make the playoffs and I was damn sure not going to repeat last year's heartbreak - last year when I put my heart on my sleeve, gave them all my faith and hope until that very final day. Once burned, twice shy, you know. Though strictly speaking this will be three straight burns, unconscionable for any team, but quadruple so for a team that likes to pretend it plays in the hockey capital of the world.

So jaded Jason has been keeping his eyes of the games, confused and battered and hurt and almost so willing to jump back on the Leaf bandwagon, but here we go, 6-2 loss to Boston, the team currently in eighth. If the Leafs had beaten Boston in both games, I probably would have thrown my hands up in resignation and started cheering. That won't be necessary now. Now I can sit back and feel smug and superior that I didn't get sucked into beleafing again, lord it up over every one silly enough to put any faith back into this sinking stock.

Yeah being right is great and whatever, but we're all still losers here.

Pre-Game For the Last Game

2008-03-11T19:10:00.003-04:00

Just going to make a prediction for the next two games, the games that will hopefully finally shut up anyone who is still telling that old story about a team named Toronto and their run for the playoffs. They're home and home with the Flyers, the team in eighth place, the team that Toronto
is going to have to surplant if they are going to do this. Lost in that though, is the Leafs' current place in the standings, 12th in the East.

If you've been following the Leafs at all, you'll already know exactly what is going to happen over the next two games. The Leafs will do just enough, just barely enough, so that their playoff hopes come out the other side tarnished, battered, but still in existence. I don't know what that means in wins-losses. Probably a win and a loss, maybe two OT wins, two OT losses even? Whatever, I'm not expecting this to be the last time somebody mentions Toronto and playoffs is all. Even if their playoff run died back in January. Hopefully Phillie will run Toronto over, sweep the two games, knock them around a bit and then maybe we can start seeing Andrew Raycroft in net

There Are Still Some Things You Can Rely On

2008-03-04T23:57:00.003-05:00

It's comforting to know that as uncertain our Maple Leafs are, no matter how flaky, shaky they may be, no matter how inconsistent their play is game to game, we can always rely on Martin Brodeur to put them in their place. Thanks Devils.

So uhh, We Doing This?

2008-03-03T00:45:00.004-05:00

C'mon Leafs, be serious. Are you guys actually aiming for the playoffs? It was cute a few weeks ago when you guys were losing 8-0 to bad teams while still talking about the post season, but now that you're backing it up with wins, it more annoying than anything.

8-4-1 over the last stretch and you've managed to gain, what? One point on eighth place? And Philadelphia has games in hand. Everyone knows where this is heading. We've seen it enough before to smell a ninth place finish a mile away.

I read somewhere that the Leafs need to go on some sort of magical 12-3 run from here on to have any chance at this. Hah hah hah aha hah, chortle guffaw.

I'd advocate putting Andrew Raycroft in net to insure more losses, but I think by this point, having watched this team do their thing all season long, the most likely result would be Raycroft winning games, because that is exactly what we don't need.

It's nice to see to Mats Sundin put his money where his mouth is and everything, and it's nice that Vesa Toskala is a legit starting goalie, but it would be a hundred times nicer to see Steven Stamkos playing in Toronto next year, you know? None of this will end well.

Jason

Oh Sundin...

2008-02-27T22:57:00.002-05:00

This is the real reason why Mats Sundin needed to go: he's capable of single handedly winning games. Two goals and an assist in tonight's 4-3 shootout win over Florida. Since when do the Leafs win shoot outs. It's like you can't trust these guys for anything anymore.

I decided yesterday that I am sick of NHL parity. Screw it. NHL parity, the three point game, that's what kept those players in Toronto. It's them waking up in the morning seeing themselves only six or however many points they are out of eighth, and it's them saying, hey we're not out of it yet! When for goodness sakes there are six teams in the way of that and only the most hopeless dreamer could confuse that for a legitimate chance.

If the standings put things in simple win percentages, you know, no happy bonus points for losing, and every morning the players woke up to confront the fact that they are essentially a team that has won just 28 games in 65 tries, if they had to confront the fact that they are a solidly .400 team, would they still be so stuck on these Leafs? Kubina would have waived his clause for sure. This team would look different today, is all I'm saying.

I know the league is not going to simplify the standings any time soon, because parity is good for them. Three point games means they can remind us that there are only three teams out of thirty that are "under" .500. It's good optics for them, but misleading for the fans and is clearly hampering Toronto's attempts at starting again.

Redecorating Deck Chairs On The Good Ship Maple Leaf

2008-02-26T22:10:00.009-05:00

This is tough. This is coming home after hours of trick or treating and emptying your bag and finding nothing but apples and those nasty orange taffies that nobody ever eats. It's not like I expected much from today; Cliff Fletcher did a pretty good job conditioning Leaf fans over the weekend to expect less, rather than more. The big five all turned down the request to waive their no trade contracts and that left Fletch in an awkward place. I know that it's not the players job to to build the team and I know they worked hard and earned those special clauses and that they have every right to say up yours to management but it is still very, very frustrating from the fan's perspective, having to watch these guys stubbornly stand in the way of a meaningful rebuild, talking about the playoffs, when all any Leafs fan really wants is to draft Steven Stamkos.

But this just means that Fletch, known for his always imaginative trades, would have to get creative at the deadline.

The day started out with Wade Belak heading to Florida for a fifth round pick, which is ok, I guess. I mean, he doesn't play much, and he doesn't make much, but he's entertaining, and he's always good for a quote in the dressing room, and that's pretty hard to find in any hockey dressing room. I don't know who inherits the tough guy role for the Leafs now. So whatever, a pretty meaningless deal to start the controlled demolition. But Fletch, you gotta start somewhere!

But that was followed with a good three hours of nothing from Fletch, until we learn Hal Gill, perhaps one of Fergie's better contract signings, has been traded to Pittsburgh for a 2nd and a 5th. Gill had become one of the more dependable Leafs defenceman over the past couple of seasons. He was big and slow and he didn't win hockey games but he certainly never lost any for us, which is more than you can say for some of the other mooks playing on that blue line. I'll miss him at least.

Then finally Chad Kilger, also to Florida for a 3rd. This one not surprising; Kilger is a scruffy, hard working guy, the kind of guy Fergie was great at picking up, and the kind of guy who can adds a little extra grit to any team. We got him off waivers at the deadline, oh, it seems like forever ago, back when Toronto was a serious playoff team.

And that's it. Hardly the reno job Toronto needed. I'm hardly one to play armchair GM, but was there nobody who wanted Nik Antropov? The guy is never going to be more valuable and he's too old to factor into any long term build plan.

This is going to be a very long summer

Jason

Trade Deadline Dilemmas

2008-02-25T13:26:00.004-05:00

Tomorrow is not going to be a pretty day. Mats Sundin is not going anywhere, and from everything we've heard neither will Pavel Kubina, Darcy Tucker, Tomas Kaberle, or Bryan McCabe. If those guys don't go, can we even call tomorrow a rebuilding day? Moving Alex's Steen and Ponikarovsky is hardly going to amount to anything significant, and aren't those the kind of young, cheap, semi-talented players we should be building around in the first place?

The Leafs could never build a Stanley Cup team successfully. I don't know why we were expecting them to get the rebuilding thing right. This is an organisation that has fucking up ingrained deep with in it. No disrespect to Cliff Fletcher, who I'm sure did his darnedest to try to convince someone, anyone, to jump ship, but if the Leafs can't move any of those contracts (McCabe is still a possibility, I hear, and in Kubina's case, his contract provides a window in his no-tradability this summer) it will be less a rebuilding process, and more say, a redecorating one. Let's try moving the couch over here. Hang up some new drapes. Bright, colourful flowers provide a great spark to any room. Really we should be knocking down walls and tearing up foundations.

But hey they have the contracts, they earned them, even if Fergie was maybe over eager with them. We should be impressed that Mats has chosen to stay loyal to Toronto. I think most people are just confused. Is this really such a great city, is what we're all wondering. What did we ever do to inspire such devotion? But that's just Toronto. If you don't love us enough, we get angry, but damn it, if you start loving us back, you better watch out. That's when we get really mad.

Just deal with it. He said he doesn't believe in the idea of rental players, you gotta be there October to June, and you have to respect that. I do. Do it right or don't do it at all. Of course, the Leafs have to resign him now. They really, really, top priority, get his name on a contract and make sure that when he retires he retires as a Maple Leaf. This forced trade fiasco probably has not helped anyone - will he even want to come back next year? Frig, he better. Or else what was the point? The Leafs end up the big losers with no prospects, no draft picks, no captain to hold them together and just a bunch of angry, frustrated fans.

Jason

Trade Deadline Doldrums

2008-02-22T11:11:00.000-05:00

Only a few days before the trade deadline and if you are a Leafs fans, I think it's become pretty clear that we should be expecting less, rather than more to happen for our team on Tuesday. The standard line coming from Cliff Fletcher for the past week has been "Hey, we sure do have a lot of no-trade contracts, huh guys?" and Sundin has been sticking to his no where but T.O (and I've started believing him), not to mention the feeling among GMs league wide has been generally "boy we did a lot of stupid things last trade deadline, didn't we". I know, I know, when people stumble out of bed Sunday morning the line is always, "I swear to God I'll never drink again" and we know how that works out, but geez, what if the General Managers have learned their lesson this time? What if this is the year they decide that that draft pick might be more useful in their hands, and that maybe Brendan Witt is not worth a first round pick?

Speaking of picks, what the Leafs need to do is get a hold of Edmonton's first round pick, currently nestled safely under Brian Burke's watch in Anaheim, and theoretically available. That pick would represent two potential top five picks and that is what the Leafs need right now. I assume Mats Sundin would secure it, but once again I don't know which way to read him. The hopeful side says that Mats has just been jumping through the hoops with the media, saying what he has to, "I want to stay in Toronto", so that no one questions his commitment to this city (imagine what would have happened if Sundin had told us he wanted out? The Vince Carter treatment all over again). Under this fanwank dream scenario Sundin does what's best for the team when Fletch eventually approaches him with the offer.

A week ago I was pretty convinced that this was how it would play out. Maybe the Leafs offer a very quiet wink nudge deal for next year, you know nothing official because there are people who frown on that kind of shenanigans, but whatever it takes to get him out the door with his dignity intact. Now, I'm not so sure. The big five, the guys with the impenetrable no trade contracts, have put up a pretty unified front in resisting trade talk; it doesn't seem like anybody on this team feels inclined to jump ship, or even that there might be a reason to bail out. These guys are still talking about the playoffs in the dressing room.

But that's the only place anybody is talking about Toronto and the playoffs. I understand that the players still need something to play for. That's why Vesa Toskala is out there every night; that's why Paul Maurice pulled said in the final minute of yesterday's loss to Buffalo even though they were trailing by three. I respect that, these are men with some pride. Just listen to Maurice these days. He is a frustrated man. He is this close to losing it.

There is talk from some that Sundin is acting disloyal in his refusal (if it is indeed genuine refusal), and that's complete bullhorckle and fiddlewash. Maybe Sundin really would rather prefer to oversee the rebuilding in Toronto than a Stanley Cup in some other city. Maybe that's not such a bad thing. Who knows. Sundin doesn't deserve the backlash he's going to get if he's still here Tuesday afternoon.

Back too the deadline. This season has been weak weak weak when it comes to trades. Two meaningful trades spread out over four months? Will Tuesday make up for this? For the Leafs sake it had better so. If Fletch can get one guy to waive goodbye, it could start chain reaction. Assuming there are teams willing to take on big contracts attached to ok players the deals will happen. For all the hand wringing, this is the one day a year that GMs are allowed to do stupid things. Just hoping for once it's not Toronto's.

Darling You Gotta Let Me Know

2008-02-10T23:16:00.000-05:00

So now that the Leafs are knocking off all the best teams in the league, what are we, we poor, suffering, handsome fans supposed to think here. If Toronto is not careful, they're going to wake up in eighth place one morning and then we're all in trouble because you know once that happens it's full throttle all the way to the playoffs baby, forget shedding salary and planning for happier tomorrow.

You'd think that a cozy afternoon game against Detroit (there is something inherently right about watching Toronto and Detroit play each other, something positive and reaffirming and wholesome I think) would be an auto loss, you know, but with these Leafs the moment you start expecting them to do one thing, the moment you think you have this team figured out and pegged down and ain't nothing going to change that, they start making you look stupid. It's nice that Darcy Tucker is scoring again (if I can be so modest, it's probably cause I called him out before the Montreal game), and Vesa Toskala means for once goaltending is not the problem. But why now?

You start walking down this path, you start listening to this harpy's song, and suddenly you find yourself thinking hey wait maybe this team can actually make the playoffs, or, hey maybe Mats Sundin and Kubina and Tucker and McCabe could actually do more good if they stayed in Toronto, which is just a roadmap to more heartbreak, but it is seductive and hard to look away from. Next week is big. If the Leafs keep winning, (games against Buffalo, Islanders, and Boston, ie, all theoretically winnable) expect someone high up in management to let it slip that the Leafs are gunning for the playoffs. Not that they will be buyers, but I can see them standing pat, maybe moving a veteran if that special deal comes along.

The point is, a winning week will be the worst thing for this team. It will leave them in this sticky, should we stay or should we go no-man's land area of the Eastern conference where the only things that ever happen are 12th overall draft picks and 9th place finishes. Fletch, please, scuttle this team before they have a chance to make trouble.

Yzerman Is All Right

2008-02-06T22:45:00.000-05:00

They named Yzerman GM for Team Canada at the upcoming world championships and this is just good news for Toronto. When Team Canada wins (not really matter of if, you know) it's only going to cement Yzerman's already pretty solid status as ball busting executive material, and will put him on the fast track to the position he was born for, General Manager of the Detroit Red Wings. From how I understand it, Stevie Y and Mike Illitch are basically best buds for life, so the red carpet is just waiting or him to walk down. The point is, that makes Ken Holland, the Best GM in Hockey, expendable, and an easy peasy pickup for the Leafs. Ken Holland gets a new challenge, Detroit gets their favourite son, Toronto gets a dude who knows what he's doing, it is just win win win all the way home. If Ken Holland does become available, still a big ol' if, I don't see why the Leafs would even need a process anymore, just offer him all the money in the world and let the man get to work.

Losses are Good Times

2008-02-05T23:02:00.000-05:00

Man am I the only the Leaf fan who heard the final score was 8-0 Panthers (Panthers!) and thought, "Ok, yes, this is a good thing." I had to read the final score in the paper because after one period and three goals I was busy finding other things to occupy my time, you know. But getting rocked by Florida is a good thing, big picture. All about that top three pick. All about that Steven Stamkos.

I mean, it's not good in anyway that every Leaf played like they were too busy dreaming up future tee times, because the all those scouts who have attached themselves to this team like vultures need something to take back with them. This is the perfect time for Darcy Tucker to start scoring, you know what I'm saying? Nobody is getting off this island if they keep playing like they did against Florida. If it were up to me the Leafs would lose the next twenty-eight games by one goal each, and everybody would try their best and some GM somewhere could look at Pavel Kubina and say, "Yes, this is a man I would pay $5 million dollars a year".

Lovin' that Robbie Earl though. Let's go Marlies

Breaking News: Sundin Still Not Going Anywhere

2008-01-31T13:55:00.000-05:00

I sure wish the media would stop asking Mats Sundin what his trade deadline plans are. It seems every day brings another headline that says "Sundin Doesn't Want To Go Anywhere" "Sundin Happy In T.O" "Sundin: Not Waiving No Trade" "Sundin Punches Out Reporter" and etc.

What's the thinking here? Maybe if we ask him enough he'll tell us what he's really thinking? Maybe if we ask the same question for the next four weeks he'll break down and tell us how desperate he is to get out, and how that is all he's ever really wanted?

Sundin is not going to ask for the trade. Sundin is not going to initiate anything, and even if he did, the media is the last place he'd go to do it. Cliff Fletcher isn't going to say anything. He's too busy trying to figure out how this place works. There's no reason for any of them to play their cards this early.

I don't mean to speak for people I don't actually know, but I'm pretty sure that when Cliff does eventually approach Sundin with a feasible trade to a real contender, that no-trade clause is not going to stand in the way. He'll do the right thing when the time comes, no matter what it is that he has to tell the daily crush of reporters who are desperate for a sound bite to stir some controversy, create a mess where none exists.

Sundin will leave, I am certain. Maybe with a gentleman's agreement for a tidy pay raise next season, I don't know. Whatever it takes. If Sundin does exercise his right to stay put, there will be some sort of fan backlash at the captain for putting his interests a head of the team. When was the last time Sundin was booed at home?

Did Anyone Even Score in the Breakaway Contest?

2008-01-30T01:26:00.000-05:00

It seems a pretty big no duh from today, but the NHL's attempt at an All-Star dunk contest was pretty awful the first time around. The only guy who seemed to get the point was Ovechkin, and he botched his baseball bat attack both times. Maybe this will be a cool thing two, three, ten years from now but right now those hot dogg skills just aren't something many players focus too much attention on, so when it comes time to put those primo tricks on display, well, they were found lacking. And goalies shouldn't leave the crease, while we're at it. Nothing worse than a guy trying to pull off some puck art only to find a poke check at the hash marks, you know? It was cool that Kaberle won the accuracy thing, maybe he could try that in a game some time. And uh that's all I really saw of the all-star hooplah. They just get better every year don't they?

Jason

End notes - Big thanks to the Leafs for losing to St. Louis, who were kind enough to bring Brad Boyes with them just in case we don't get it. They may not make the playoffs this year, but the Blues are just miles ahead of Toronto every sense of it. They had to swallow a few bad seasons, but at least there is a plan in St. Louis. We have Cliff Fletcher.

Things Are Going to be Ok, Probably

2008-01-22T23:46:00.000-05:00

John Ferguson Junior is gone, finally. Who else was starting to resign themselves to to four more months? But that's just the Leafs at play: just when you get yourself expecting them to do one thing, wham, they go the opposite direction on you.

First, before anyone starts criticizing the man they got to replace Fergie, let's all take a moment to be glad that anything happened at all. Cliff Fletcher is not the perfect solution. You don't find the perfect solution in the middle of February (do you think anyone talked to Pat Quinn?). So I won't grumble with what we got.

Fletch has a Cup, and he had a few magical years with Toronto once upon a time and that will have to be good enough. I assume he has some sort of rapport with Sundin, I hope he does because it was Fletcher who got us Sundin in the first place, and I don't even need to explain the poetry here.

At the press conference he was all politics, putting Mats first which I guess is what you have to do. After everything we've put Sundin through we owe him some dignity. He still has to go of course, of course he has to go because if he doesn't, why did they fire Ferguson? Sundin has said he wants to stay forever blue and white. This is Mats making sure he doesn't come out the bad guy. Sundin would never ask to be traded, but that doesn't mean he won't take the chance to go to another team if somebody gives it to him.

The only problem now is whether Fletcher is the man who can maximize on Sundin's trade value. The man hasn't been a real GM since he left Toronto, and the last two teams who tried him out ended up firing him, so how much sway does he have among the fraternity? What he needs to land is a prospect, a first rounder, and roster player, or equivalent. This the trade deadline though, and GMs are known to do stupid things in search of the missing piece, and for once we might not be on the wrong side of that.

Better than all that was Richard Peddie telling us that Fletcher's replacement is going to be a real GM, no more learning on the job. It seems it's already been decided that our GM next year will either Ken Holland or Brian Burke or Jim Rutherford or maybe all of them working together for the betterment of this franchise. I don't know. If anyone has the money to poach high class GMs it's Toronto, but even with all this talk of change, does anyone really want to jump into the organizational fracas that is MLSE? Does this white knight exist? I don't know.

Whatever happens, I'm just glad to know that something will happen, anything, whatever it may be.

Jason

Don't Call It Goodbye

2008-01-22T13:19:00.000-05:00

It seems official now, John Ferguson Junior is no longer GM. The Leafs replaced him with Cliff Fletcher, no surprises.

I guess this is a good move, as long as Cliff understands his role here and starts a measured deconstruction, and not say, the kind of frantic bombing that marked the end of his last stay here.

The GM is dead, long live the GM

There's Still Some Horse Left to Beat

2008-01-21T16:43:00.000-05:00

I did something stupid on Sunday: I watched the Leafs game against New Jersey, and as bad as that is, it gets worse because I actually thought they had a chance at winning, and it just doesn't get better, because to top it off, I actually wanted them to win.

The Leafs are that abusive junky boyfriend I just can't shake. Every time I say, nuh uh, no way get out of my house and don't come back, there they are winning three straight games and everything is all right as long as you hold me tight and promise to never let go.

This is all too confusing. As long as the current management structure is in place it is impossible to cheer for this hockey team. And with every win the Leafs just further remove themselves from top spot at the draft table which is where they should be aiming. Forget the playoffs. If the Leafs shoot for a playoff spot it will just end in a middle draft pick and more mediocrity. It happens every year.

Supporting this team feels like buying blood diamonds. There are consequences. Cheering for a hockey team should not be this complicated. This is not so much to ask.

All I want is a hockey organization structured in such a way that I do not have to feel embarrassed when I tell people my team. Forget the Stanley Cup MLSE. They're overrated anyway. We'll figure that out later. Just stop cocking around, and do something. Please. This is not so much to ask.

Cliff Diving and Other Dangerous Sports

2008-01-18T01:09:00.001-05:00

The Leafs have won back to back games for the first time in I don't know how long, which is actually a terrible thing for them to do right now because you know that MLSE will take any excuse they can to postpone having to do their jobs. If the Leafs start looking half decent on the ice (no matter how temporarily) it has the potential to grind this push for managerial change to halt. And that would be the worst thing.

This situation is ridiculous. MLSE has managed to cast John Ferguson Junior as the sympathetic victim here by hanging him out there while simultaneously talking to every unemployed GM in the league and telling us that there are no imminent changes coming. How insular can the board of governors be? How can they not realize they've made themselves look ridiculous and probably badly hurt any chance of ever getting a serious hockey man to ever helm this team?

They obviously know that something must be done, otherwise they wouldn't be talking to Cliff Fletcher, but they also don't seem to think that there is any particular rush because it feels like the deathwatch on Fergie started two weeks ago. I'm even starting to feel sorry for him. Why does he even bother to show up to work? I wouldn't blame him if his box was empty the next time the Leafs are home. I don't like Ferguson, I still want his ass fired, but there's no need to be inhumane about it. Especially when this circus just confirms to the other 29 markets that Toronto is just a fudged up city.

The longer this goes on, the harder it becomes to figure a way out. It does not seem like there are any great immediate solutions, no dynamite jobless GMs waiting for the call (is anyone talking to Neil Smith?). What could still happen, and is what should definitely not happen, is that the Leafs could follow the Dallas Star's lead and name a tandem involving Doug Gilmour and Mike Penny or Glen Healy or whoever as their new long term GM. The last thing the Leafs need right now is another inexperienced GM or two.

What's going to happen most likely is they'll name an interim GM to clear house and kick ass for a few months until they can hire a real GM in the summer, like Ken Holland or Brian Burke, yeah right, I know (Pretty sure Scotty Bowman won't be having much to do with this organization). There are two problems. After watching this poor Fergie twist in the wind for a week, a month, however long it takes MLSE to get their act together, what decent General Manager would want to come here? And more importantly, how many experienced GMs are looking for six months of temp work?

Well, there's Cliff Fletcher of course, and of all the options (there are not many) I guess I'm leaning this way. The Leafs would hire Fletcher as GM till the summer and then they'd shift him over to some cushy and well paid consulting job or whatever because that's the only way you'd get him to give up his buyout money from Phoenix.

This is not a great solution. This is not a solution that looks like it will take place any time soon. Just knowing this organization, expect more glacial progress in the coming weeks. If we're lucky, maybe the Leafs will have narrowed their candidate list down to one by the trade deadline.

Fingers crossed,

Jason

It's Mess, I Confess

2008-01-13T01:13:00.000-05:00

What do you even say after a night like tonight? You have Toronto, a team that has in the past couple of weeks joined any conversation on the topic of NHL's worst team, playing in San Jose, San Jose a good, well built hockey team if there ever was one but a team that struggles at home for whatever reasons. The Leafs who had lost their last four, took a two nothing lead into the third period and for those first two periods they looked fine, like a team that knew what it was doing, a team with confidence and muscle and everything else you're supposed to have to win in this league.

But but but, any savvy hockey fan who has followed the Leafs season to this point could have figured out what was coming.

Third period meltdown.

Oh yes, in what I think has become the Leafs trademark move this season, they did just enough in the third period to lose a game they had spent forty minutes winning. Quel surprise and etc.

But these loses are all for a higher purpose now. Change is coming, and I know I said that earlier this season and than nothing happened but you have to think that things have progressed to the point where not even Richard (Pettie) Peddie can sit back and tell us this is not the time for hasty decisions. Richard Peddie's job is safe, I think, I mean I don't think I've ever heard any of his bosses complain about him and the man does wonders for their investment returns so the blame is going to fall to John Ferguson Junior. I would be surprised now, following these three consecutive California loses if something did not go down. How can it not?

Whatever happens though, I can't even trust whether it will be a step in a positive direction, or just JFJ redux. I mean we are trusting Peddie, the same man who hired Fergie to replace him. What's giving me hope are Peddie's comments earlier this season when he told us that hiring a rookie GM like Fergs had been a mistake (oh you don't say) and the very, very positive example set by the Raptors' recent reconstruction led by GM/messiah Brian Colangelo, which leads us to believe that MLSE is not as completely useless as they seems. If they could get it right with the basketball side, and remember how that half of the operation used to make the Leafs divine in comparison, why can't they repeat it with the hockey half?

Of course, in order to fix this mess you'd need to bring someone in and then give him complete control of the hockey business, like Colangelo secured for himself with the Raps, because nobody worth hiring would put up with a board of governors who fancy themself hockey experts. So right there you have a problem because is this a hockey organization that is willing to take it's chefs out of the kitchen? Yeah I don't know. I want to be optimistic, but this is MLSE we are talking about and if there is anyone capable of screwing this up, it's going to be the clowns running this franchise.

Jason

Endnote - Tomas Kaberle is the only Leaf on the Eastern All Star team, which makes Mats Sundin an obvious snub, but he says he'd rather take the rest anyway so I guess problem averted? Or maybe it's just Mats being Mats, not wanting to cause a fuss. We could probably debate whether Toronto even deserves a player on the All Star team, but then, getting worked up about All Star games is just silly. Do people still watch them? I don't know.

I Hear Ottawa Has a Good Team

2008-01-10T01:33:00.000-05:00

There are only so many things I can blame on Mr. Ferguson. He was not the one who hired himself to be the Leafs General Manager. It is not his fault that the men he works for have left him out to dry with no contract extension and out of nowhere public criticism. It is not his fault that every move he makes must be vetted by a board of Governors that may be good at diversifying stock portfolios and making important tee times but lacks any serious hockey competence. It is also not his fault that none of his bosses really want their team to win, at least, not win in the traditional sense, on the ice, because the Leafs franchise has been winning financially for the past forever.

Here's the thing. The Leafs need to make certain moves right now, certain moves that are completely untenable and impossible from where we stand today. There are just too many forces pushing this team towards the status quo. The general manager needs to make the playoffs to save his job so any move that would be seen as giving up, that is specifically, trading Mats Sundin, are unlikely to happen under his watch. Mats Sundin, the man who could attract an entire farm team given the right GM, is too classy to ever ask out of this city, so we can't expect him to drive the trade, though I doubt he would hold to his no trade clause if someone asked nicely. And even if Fergie did want to trade Mats, not that he will because bold moves and John Ferguson are not on speaking terms now or ever and frankly trading Mats at this point is less a bold move and more just simply a competent one, anyway even if Fergie did get hit in the back of the head and decide that the future of this franchise is more important than continuing his career and did look to trade Sundin he would have to get the board of directors to say yes and the board of directors are not going to say yes to anything so outside the box and fresh and because even they understand that trading Sundin amounts to giving up on the season and that by giving up on the season they are giving up the potential for playoff gate receipts this year and if there is one thing that the Ontario Teacher's Pension Fund understands it is that playoff ticket sales are basically free money.

So our hypothetical Fergie will go before MLSE's board of directors, the bandages still around his head from the recent lobotomy, his hat clenched and wrenched between his hands and he will bow his head and mumble some ancient Latin words and one of the dark robed millionaires will motion for him to rise with a single, crooked finger. Fergie will look up, but he will not make eye contact with anyone, for this forbidden, and then he will mumble something inaudible. Another dark robed figure commands him to speak louder, "Louder" but it sounds like a hiss, a dry, rasping hiss. By now Fergie will be sweating and wiping his forehead with the back of his expensive suit but he will manage to gasp out, "iwannatradesundin" before recoiling back waiting for the punishment that is sure to follow.

A gasp goes around the chamber and the many dark robed figures will hiss loudly as they discuss this latest blasphemy when suddenly they are silenced by one voice and the semi circle in front of Ferguson parts and there will stand the representative of the Ontario Teacher's Pension Plan who will look like the Borg Queen and her, no, Its lips will curl into a nasty smile as It holds up the day's newspaper and It will throw it at him and he will pick the paper up and see that it is turned to the NHL standings and It will ask him how many points separate the Leafs from 8th place. "Well that's really not the point-" Ferguson will try but he is silenced by the Pension representative. "We count but five points between our Maples Leaves and the eighth spot, which we understand to be the final spot for which the Maples Leaves would be eligible for playoffs. Correct or Incorrect?" it will say and it will pierce Ferguson with its inhuman stare and Ferguson will try to argue but he will be silenced again. "Correct or Incorrect" will be the question once more and Ferguson will say, defeated, "Correct" and much nodding and congratulating will take place among the board members.

They will not consider that by sacrificing the playoffs this year, playoffs that if we can be ugly and unromantic here, are much, much farther away than what any standings say, that if we tank now then we can build something that will last another five, six who knows how many years into the future. If the Leafs go status quo, which increasingly and sadly they appear to be too willing to do, they will not make the playoffs this year and they will very likely not make them next year even with a new GM (or insallah, an entire new management structure). If we keep Sundin now, make a small or no addition at deadline and then miss the playoffs again by one point, what good does that do? Sundin gets to try the free agent market, or re-sign with us but the Leafs are still mediocre, they still get a 12th or 13th pick and then they get to go out and do the whole thing over again and try to set some kind of NHL record for most consecutive seasons of missing the playoffs by one point. We are going on three straight seasons without making the playoffs and no one with any power to do something about it seems to give a goddamn hug.

Jason

Endnote: The Star ran a thing today where they asked a bunch of ex- and one day GM's who and what they would ask for Sundin if they were trading them. Generally these hockey guys asked for one or two high draft picks and at least two solid prospects. Then there was Mike Millbury, who's been doing decently in his new third or fourth career as a tv guy, of all the guys Millbury was the only one who asked for just a first rounder and a single prospect. And suddenly every bad trade he ever made on Long Island comes flooding back and you remember oh yeah, there is a reason he is not a GM anymore.

This Thing I Have Become

2008-01-07T23:18:00.000-05:00

It's starting to gnaw at me that I've essentially given up on this hockey team of mine with so much left to play. I am in the most awful position. I'm starting to cheer every Leaf loss because with each mounting loss it just vindicates me even more, look, I can say, I was right this team is just balls to the walls bad. I can't enjoy it when they do win because that only lets John Ferguson Junior shift some of that piling pressure off for another day. Each win is a victory for Fergie, the Leafs management and everything stifling and incompetent about them while every loss is another welcome nail in the coffin and frankly, there are so many nails in there you could probably lift it with a large enough magnet.

So thanks Leafs, you've turned this season into a perverse game for me. I can't tell you how conflicted I was when the Leafs put up that unfortunately timed 5-1-1 stretch because it literally saved Ferguson's job but it also signaled that maybe the Leafs weren't stale leftovers at a time when it still mattered. I mean I don't like Toronto losing but I certainly don't need anyone repudiating Fergie right now. So really yeah, I do want Toronto to lose; I want Toronto to lose often and ugly and the more the better.

The worst part, or maybe the best part is that there are ways out of this. Look at Philadelphia. They were bad last year; they were rank awful, just plain bad and now this year, after management change and a dizzying year of deft moves they are back. Or what about St. Louis. A couple years ago they were bad, real bad but they cleaned management and put some guys in place who had a Plan and the today the Blues are as good as anybody in the league. The point is things aren't hopeless. This season is still a wash I think, but it shouldn't go to waste. A top five pick plus what we can sell at deadline and Toronto could be on the right track like snap crackle boom. Remember what St. Louis got for Keith Tkachuk last year? Atlanta practically gave away the farm. Imagine what Mats Sundin could bring.

Or we could have Fergie, lame duck Fergie come out at deadline time and looking at the standings that, at least nominally, show Toronto within a few points of the playoffs, he could give up another first round pick because if it works and the Leafs make the playoffs his job is safe for another year and if it doesn't work, well it's not like he'll be at the draft table in June anyway. Fergie is dangerous is what I'm trying to say. He's cornered and battered from all sides including his boss Mr. Peddie (who should be swept out too, or at least, swept away from hockey) and he has to know that the only way he has a job in Toronto next year (I don't know why he would still want the job but anyway) is if the Leafs make a playoff appearance and at least make it close. I sincerely and deeply and honestly do not want the Leafs making the playoffs under Fergie.

Look what you've made me Mr. Ferguson.

Jason

A Post For Wonderful Surprises

2008-01-05T19:25:00.000-05:00

I hope you did not get your hopes too high at the prospect of wonderful surprises because today's title is a misnomer, in fact you might call it an out and out lie because the focus for today is on completely unsurprising things and has very little to do with wonder and a lot more to do with depressing reality.

Where to even start. The Canadian Juniors won the gold medal today and this isn't actually depressing so much as it is unsurprising and uninspiring, especially after so many people rang the alarms so furiously after that one single loss back in the first round, the first loss for baby Team Canada since I don't know how long but we are talking years here and suddenly that's all it takes to question whether this team of maybe-one-day-future-studs can win the gold. It was pretty silly. I don't know what it is but maybe it's because I don't follow the tournament much farther than Story is Cont. on page S4, but it was easy money for me to pick Canada as the eventual winner. I don't know how many more straight golds it will take for Canadians to realize that they have the best junior system in the world and that these yearly international tournaments provide the same level of excitement and competition of your average round of mini-golf. Canadian domination of international ice hockey was fun at first, now I think it's just boring.

Surprise number two. The Toronto Maple Leafs are not a very good team. This is pretty much indisputable these days even if nobody on the company payroll wants to say it. Toronto lost to Philadelphia earlier tonight, and get this, this is the really unsurprising thing , they blew the game with two minutes to go in the third. I know! Who could have seen a finish like that!

It's not even surprising anymore when the clock hits five left in the third you just need to keep one eye behind Toronto's goalie because you know there will be some heavy action back there before the buzzer goes. So when Toronto fell behind a man to Phillie with just minutes left to play with the score tied 2-2 you could have reliably turned off your tv right then and gone off to do something more productive, confidant that your Leafs would find some special new way to lose and disappoint you.

The Leafs are 1-5 in their last six if I read the results properly. The Leafs occupy a special portion of the NHL standings reserved for only the really mediocre, the teams that can win two in a row and than just as easily peel off three straight losses and come back with a straight face and tell their fans that there is something more in the tank even though that is what they have said all season. It has been noted by those deliriously devoted to this hockey team that thanks to the particularly mediocre East Conference, the Leafs are never more than four or five points out of a playoff spot and that anything can happen, you know?

Oh but they are so hopelessly romantic. The Leafs are never far from that final eight slot but they are never really close either. To think that this team can suddenly reel off five or six straight wins and then motor on down the home stretch at some wonderful .600 clip is some bizarre dream work that completely ignores the body of work this team has put up all season long.

There is no consistency and no secondary scoring on this team. And yet we the fans must continue to listen to John Ferguson Junior and Richard Peddie tell us that it is not wise to make hasty decisions in this business. Hasty! It's like they lack any sort of perspective or sense of irony or at the very least have nothing but contempt for the fans, the only people who would deign to hold them accountable for turning this team into a mediocre halfway home for players with no where better to be. Hasty! It's like they are incapable of remembering anything farther back than five games ago. The team we have now is just as bad as it was a month ago, two months ago and it is not improving visibly. But we can't act just because the team isn't playing well right now. Right now? I can think of just one stretch of hockey this season when you could have reliably called the Leafs a good team and I think that lasted about ten games at the top.

Don't misunderstand me. I don't want Fergie to do anything. I'd rather he didn't touch the team because you can only see him making some ugly desperation act on deadline day sending more draft picks and prospects for another goalie as he, in that JFJ way, mumbles triumphantly that he has fixed the goaltending situation except he won't mention that this is the third time in his three years that the goaltending needed saving and this is all too depressing because it is all too plausible because we already know what our GM is capable when he's desperate.

I've said it before but obviously not loud enough but Toronto needs to fire Fergie, and Pettie too while we're at it and they need to install someone with experience and iron balls and the courage to trade Mats Sundin and the GM savvy to trade McCabe or Kubina or both and then he needs to start actively rebuilding for next year.

I know how tempting that four point gap looks right now and how close that this team may look on paper but if you have been following this team honestly, I don't know how you can conclude they can or should make the playoffs. I'd rather see them tank now and come back next year with something plausible than to see them continue to bundle along blindly wishing and hoping for that multi-game win streak to happen. Because it won't. And if it does, you know that the Leafs are just as capable of matching it with a losing streak of equal or greater value. This is our hockey team.

Jason

The Three Point Game

2007-12-29T21:43:00.001-05:00

Talking about the Maple Leafs right now is kind of tough because they are awful and smelly and big fat meanie liars who promised change and commitment to defense and just an overall improvement but are playing the same listless let-someone-else-do-the-scoring- and-backchecking-tonight game they've been playing since the lockout ended, so I'm not going to give them any time tonight.

Let's talk about three point games instead. The Leafs are pretty familiar with three point games because these guys lose in overtime more than any one else in NHL and it's those eight points from those eight OT loses that are the only thing keeping the Leafs point total near respectable levels, but I'm not talking about them tonight.

The way it stands right now, the NHL awards two points to any team capable of finishing a hockey game in sixty minutes with more goals than their opponent. If both teams have scored the same number of goals, that is, if the score is tied and stalemated and not conclusive after three full periods of skating back and forth over a frozen surface comprised mostly of very cold water and sometimes spare change, if this happens the game goes into overtime and then possibly a shootout if five more minutes of skating back and forth still fail to resolve anything. The team that emerges with the win will receive the same two points they would have anyway, but the losing team, the team that failed, say, the Toronto Maple Leafs for demonstration purposes, will receive one point, which, the astute reader and sporting enthusiast will note, is entirely one full point more than they would have received had they not blown the lead in the dying seconds of the game to a team the Toronto Maple Leafs should beat every single time but instead choke like they were dining on tiny chicken bones before every game.

This results in the three point a game, a game in which three points are doled out between the two teams and a game that has a tendency to skew standings and make bad teams look better and make mediocre teams feel like they still have a shot at something meaningful which is why the NHL likes three point games because this way everybody is a winner and nobody gets their feelings hurt unless you are the LA Kings in which case you are just awful no matter what you do. The three point game is frustrating for me and others too because of just that: it makes bad teams look like they are not bad teams. The Toronto Maple Leafs, that team I am not talking about today, can send out their General Manager and have him, without lying, describe the team he built that has won 15 of it's first 38 games as having a winning percentage of .500 because eight of those losses were in OT and therefore don't count at all for anything.

The Leafs are clearly not a .500 team but the standings don't lie. I am not against three point games though. I do not think the league should stop rewarding points for OT losses.

What the NHL should do is make every game a three point game. Three points for doing your job and giving the fans a resolution at the final buzzer, and then two points for an OT win and the same one point for losing in OT. This would separate out the contenders from the pretenders. Thinking about it, it won't do anything for the cluttered standings column in your newspaper but it's already pretty cluttered as is so this is not my biggest concern.

The NHL is not going to do this because they want parity and they want their fans to think that even though their GM might be inept or just brain dead or maybe their highest paid players are stiffs dreaming of summers somewhere other than this godawful city where all it ever does is snow or rain, that their teams still have a chance because in today's NHL anyone can grow up to be President as long as you try your best and lose in overtime enough.

Jason

Edit - I'm going to try start updating more often for better or for worse whether or not I have anything to say or not. Should be fun!

David Ech-Stein

2007-12-15T15:36:00.000-05:00

So J.P Ricciardi is obviously feeling as uneasy as I am about the prospects of starting next season with the same line up as the previous year so he signed David Eckstein to a one year, 4.5 million dollar deal. I think he missed the mark. Looking positive, J.P deserves credit for going out and getting guys who are proven winners, after all it was diminutive Eckstein out there collecting the World Series MVP award back with St. Louis and if there's one word every one uses to describe the 5'7" lead-off man, it's scrappy.

But there's another word a lot of people use to describe the lil guy, and that's "over rated". The Jays already have a regular shortstop, John MacDonald, yeah, the guy they call the Human Highlight Reel, and if you are going to go out and sign somebody to take that position from him, why do you go out and sign an aging small man with all the range and mobility of a rotting tree stump? Eckstein is a defensive liability to such a degree that any advantage gained by having him lead-off the order will be lost in ground balls through his feet. The Jays' rotation have come to rely on having the solid wall between second and third that Johnny Mac represents and then we go 180 degrees around and suddenly next season giving up ground balls will be a liability.

Essentially now the Jays have pitched out 4.5 million dollars for a utility infielder because even if Eckstein starts the season at short you have to imagine that by September that somebody will have become frustrated enough to put MacDonald back where he belongs. MacDonald can't hit, yeah, we know that, but he makes up for it by catching everything hit his way. Eckstein can't reliably catch anything but while he does hit better Macdonald (that's not saying much, most of the Jays' bat boys probably hit better than the Mac Attack) he does not do it well enough to justify putting him on the field every night. If Troy Glaus wasn't comfortably entrenched at third (hey remember that time they had him play short stop? Pretty sure Glaus is better there than Eckstein) they could conceivably shift Eckstein over to where his defensive misadventures would not be such a problem but the point is moot. This was a bad deal, I think and I can only be glad that it only runs one year because I can't see the Jays finding themselves needing to renew this contract.

What's with this team and committing to under appreciated fan favourites like MacDonald and Greg Zaun and then going out and desperately trying to replace them? Poor Zaun. Remember when J.P said hey you're our number one guy congrats you really finally earned it, and then he signed Bengie Molina? And then just a week ago J.P was after Paul Lo Duca and you have to wonder how any player could ever develop any loyalty to this club. And if we're talking loyalty and Blue Jays I can't leave out the way the Jays ran Carlos Delgado out of town.

I am so ready for another General Manager not named J.P Ricciardi to have a crack at this team. I just want to look at my baseball team and feel reassured that there is a plan in place, a plan to improve and get better and compete and, hey now whatever happened to Russ Adams? Remember it was going to be Adam Hill at short and Russ Adams at second and now Hill is at second and there is huge road jam at short and this is exactly what I'm talking about. There is no plan around this team, just a series of ad hoc moves designed to make it look like we are keeping up with the Joneses in New York and Boston. Frank Thomas and Tomo Ohka and Victor Zambrano and Matt Stairs and where does it all lead?

Right back at third in the American League East

Jason

Exhibit F in the David Eckstein is overrated case: http://www.firejoemorgan.com/2006/10/eckstein-round-up.html

The Rios Factor

2007-12-11T15:55:00.000-05:00

So Blue Jays GM J.P Ricciardi has made it pretty clear that the Jays' roster for next year is going to look remarkably similar to the Jays' roster from last year. Ricciardi is stubbornly insistent to prove that the team he built for '07 was a winner and he's going to do that by making no significant changes to the team for the upcoming season. This is about as childish as it gets for general managers.

Ok, so the Jays had a some ugly injuries last year, B.J Ryan was out all year and Vernon Wells might as well have been and so J.P wants to prove to all the naysayers who slagged the Jays that what he put together was actually capable of winning if only we hadn't had all those injuries. Whatever. This is how you know the Jays are not an elite team. Look at New York and Boston. They had good teams last year, not theoretically good teams like Toronto, but objective, observably good teams and you don't see them standing around telling their fans hey, we're such good teams that we don't need to improve. Hell, the Red Sox won the World Series and they're the ones at the head of the pack for Johan Santana. Good teams don't tell people they are good teams, they go out and act like good teams. If J.P was serious he would call last year a wash, recognize that shit happens and move on and act accordingly and acknowledge that the teams around him are quickly moving ahead while he pretends that this is still 2007.

There is some small glimmer of a trade in the works for Ricciardi and the Jays after the sunny Winter Meetings. It's hard for GMs to resist the temptation of tinkering once you gather them all together and J.P is nothing if not a GM. The only problem as it stands is that with this trade J.P might just be clipping these Jays' wings.

The proposed trade is Alex Rios, the most consistent thing in black and silver for Toronto last season, and Tim Lincecum, a young hot shot stud pitcher out of San Fransisco. The Giants are sitting on their hands here, and I'm glad they are because I'm not sure the Jays can afford to give up Rios' power or glove heading into next year. Who do they have to replace him? Do you play Matt Stairs? Is Alex Lind capable of really replacing Rios? The conventional wisdom is you don't give up a player like Rios for a pitcher, even a pitcher nicknamed "Franchise", who is only going to play once every five days.

I don't like how this smells. I can't see how Ricciardi could possibly give up Alex Rios without anything to immediately replace him. I mean, remember the last two months of the previous season? The Jays were receiving pitching, they were getting really, really good pitching in fact, but the bats were completely missing, and you aim to fix this by giving up the only guy who was hitting worth a damn? I don't know.

The only way this trade works, Rios for Lincecum, is if Ricciardi wheels around and makes another trade, say, I don't know, McGown for Jason Bay, or whatever. I say Jason Bay because wouldn't that be amazing having the second best Canadian bat in the majors playing for Toronto? Yes it would. And then Ricciardi could whip around again and trade for Eric Bedard and all of a sudden I would never ever say a bad thing about JP again for as long as he was GM no matter what he did. Is JP capable of moves like that? I mean, it just doesn't make any sense to leave such a hole as Rios would create in the outfield without anything to fill it right? And JP has said he would like to up the Canadian content on this team and while Matt Stairs is nice (did he really need two years?), he's no Bay or Bedard. Nobody is safe on Baltimore, we know that, and it's not like Pittsburgh has anything going on and I don't see why this isn't possible, save for the fact that Jays might not have the depth in the farm system to pull this off. I don't know.

So here's what I want: if Rios must go, and I really don't think he does have to, Ricciardi you darn well better have some kind of master stroke genius trade in your other sleeve to replace him. What can I say JP, I've lost faith in you. I no longer believe you can do what's best for this club. So just don't screw this up please. If you are going to make a trade, think big. Think really huge blockbuster big, blow the roof off the top giant. You know? Make us care. Detroit went big by trading with Florida. You can top that Ricciardi.

Jason

Stop Winning Plz

2007-12-11T15:38:00.000-05:00

Hey guys what happened to getting John Ferguson Jr. fired? Remember that? We were so close! Fergie was days away from losing his job and then you guys go 5-1-1 and all of a sudden everything is fine and wonderful and Yonge St has been reserved for a future parade.

That's the way hockey works around here though. All it takes to erase two and a half years of poor, listless hockey is a four game win streak and everything is good again. How long can the winning go on? It would have been nice if the Leafs could have held off their rediscovery of their resolve and commitment to team defence until after Fergie was gone but now it's too late and all the fire Ferguson momentum has dissipated and good luck ever getting anything done in MLSE's front office.

We missed our chance is what I'm saying. You just know somebody somewhere is working on a contract extension to reward Ferguson for pulling the Leafs up to ninth in the East.

Jason

Oh Them Winds of Change

2007-11-26T16:58:00.000-05:00

Can you feel it? Can you feel it? There is finally the promise of change swirling about Toronto these days; real, deep, meaningful, drastic, sweeping change emanating from the heart of Maple Leafs Sports and Entertainment offices. John Ferguson Jr may very soon be out of a job. This is a good thing. Fergie, bless him, leaves behind a trail of terrified, timid moves and deals, all swung with an apprehensive look over his shoulder. Rask for Raycroft. Draft picks for Toskala. Money for Kubina and a no mover for McCabe. Whatever. We all make mistakes. But then there was his gruff, tight lipped media face, those washed-up boxing promoter good looks and his terse, uncomfortable, demeanor that from day one never managed to instill any confidence in me.

Listen to me, I sound like he's already gone. I hope I'm not wrong here. I hope we don't have to suffer through the rest of the season watching JFJ sit on his hands, lips pursed while he mumbles something about injuries and tough luck and how we have all the pieces in place despite winning only eight of twenty-four games and displaying all the passion and drive of an old golf cart. I know, changing GMs isn't going to make the Leafs play better. It is so far beyond that now.

It's almost good that the Leafs lost so badly to Phoenix, because when you get blown out by the Coyotes you can be pretty sure there's not much lower you can go. I may be late to the party, but I'd like to join the Blow-Up the Leafs Club. I was pretty sure before the season that the Leafs could be at least eighth-in-the-East competitive, but now this team has shown itself to be the listless no talent bums they were all along.

Toronto needs to bring in a general manager who isn't afraid to say, "This is not a very good team" and then go out and do something about it. Pile those draft picks. Trade Sundin. I don't care anymore. Send him to Ottawa so he can get his Cup and we'll get even more reason to hate the Senators. I mean, they kick the Leafs' ass every time any way, switching Sundin's colours won't change much.

Kabooom

Jason

Post Script: I'm just hearing this now but it appears Fergie tried, and clearly failed to get coach Paul Maurice fired last week which shows the power and influence he still holds over what is supposed to be his team. Everyone involved denied everything but then that's pretty status quo so Fergie's protestations don't count for much.

Lusty Tlusty

2007-11-15T00:59:00.000-05:00

We've all done stuff we'd rather forget right? Certain things done under the influence of other certain things, or because hey, it seemed like a good idea at the time, ok? Geez. It's just that we don't all play for the Maple Leafs and most of us can be reasonably sure I think, that if anybody did find out about our transgressions (I didn't notice her five o'clock shadow, ok?) we wouldn't find lurid photos of ourselves splashed across the front page of the Toronto Sun the next day.

What a non-issue. Jiri Tlusty is nineteen and he just got burned by the internet. Tough cookies. Can we talk about the fact that the Leafs have lost back to back games in OT instead?

Jason

No Stanley Cups Allowed

2007-11-12T11:41:00.001-05:00

Hey look where'd that come from, who's the dude with the fourth grade photoshop skills, and what's going on here, right?. Well, I've been toying with a name change for a few months actually and this seemed a good a time as any. The old name was stupid. It was based on some silly math and shakier logic, but it was one of those ideas that just made so much sense back when. It's important to know when to ditch a bad idea, and 65 Years and Counting was a bad idea. Let's not get negative though, this is a happy day. I guess my focus can shift more fully to hockey and now I don't have to pretend care about the Raptors, even if they have suddenly become major league model franchise number one.

No Stanley Cups Allowed is, I think, a celebration of futility. Negativity is no fun. It just leads to cynical wrinkles and early heart attacks.

Here's my rejected list of blog names. Think of them of them like an old betamax sitting on the curb, "please love me" post-noted to it.

Toronto the Fair(ly Adequate)
Toronto the (Not) Good (Enough)
Futility in Toronto
The Pain That Unites Us
The No Stanley Cup Zone
Why Try Harder
Maple Leafs Blowing in the Wind
Toronto the Sucks Ass

Jason

Who Brought the Donuts

2007-11-12T01:34:00.000-05:00

I don't know if you've noticed but lately it seems like goalies have been putting up shut outs like they were Amish barns. I don't have any numbers to back me up, only a cold, hard hunch, but it feels like goose eggs are on the rise. Maybe it's just that Pascal Leclaire is making a glorious spectacle of himself over in Columbus, but then even Andrew Raycroft got in on the hot clean sheet action which tells you that something must be up. Andrew Raycroft man. Scoring is down from last year, the Internet confirms this, and even last year's numbers are down from the year before that. It only took three years for the big/small market divide to really resurface after the lockout. Ditto the fighting. Are we seeing the return of the low scoring too? Cause man there has to be a better way of fixing the sport than locking everybody out for a year. That got old kinda quick.

Goalies stop being so good thx,

Jason

That Dirty, Dirty 'Stache

2007-11-10T00:14:00.000-05:00

Of course the Leafs won against Buffalo. They didn't just have Darcy Tucker and Bryan McCabe back in the line-up, they also had McCabe's gnarly new set of biker bars, which probably deserved at least an assist on 'Caber's goal, just for being there. Ryan Miller knows better than to get between a shot from any dude bad enough to be sportin' a hairy horseshoe. It's just not good sense. I wish I had a decent picture.

Jason

Ze Big E, 'E Is Great Non?

2007-11-08T19:16:00.000-05:00

So what about this Lindros guy. He's retired now, some might say a few years too late. The question, burning so passionately right now is whether the dude, in his injury shortened career and taking into consideration both the fact that he was probably the player of the nineties but also made a dick of himself by refusing the Nordiques, considering all that does the Big E have a place in the Hockey Hall of Fame.

Yeah, let the guy in. I think his numbers plus the reputation he built while with the Flyers is enough on its own to get him into the hall. He shouldn't be penalized for taking too many hits to the head, that was just his game, and he shouldn't be penalized for having the parents he did either.

When the time comes, 2010 I think, they should vote him in. Whether that happens or not, well, that depends on how well some journalists can hold grudges I guess.

Breaking News

2007-11-06T18:01:00.000-05:00

Jay Onrait is hosting Off The Record while Landsberg gets his face lifted, or whatever it is Landsberg does on his time off. TSN needs to get this guy Onrait his own show. Jay is comedy gold.

Jason

There's This Basketball Team You See

2007-11-01T02:03:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I forget I don't like basketball long enough to write a couple hundred words.

Yeah I only pay attention to basketball with one eye open but the lack of respect emanating stateside for the Raptors is shocking. The American sports media has been creaming their pants over and over again all summer at the thought of Boston's newly stacked team, and the predictions from every corner are falling just short of championship. Because we know how historically good teams built to look like a day to day all star team have faired. Team chemistry be damned. You would think in basketball of all sports, those being paid to be in the know would recognize the importance of team play. Boston will improve, yeah sure, it's not hard to improve on 28 wins, but I think Boston fans will be disappointed (Dear Boston fans, you have the Patriots and the Red Sox already. That is enough).

The Raptors aren't getting any respect is my problem. Perhaps the most team orientated team in the East, and easily one of the most cohesive groups in the NBA and for some reason no one can take the next step and predict another Atlantic title for Toronto. The Celtics will come out of the gate like the New York Rangers, slow and uncomfortable. The Raptors are going to be solid all year long. They will win their division and a playoff series or two to boot, and the stupid part is America is going to act all surprised, as if there was no warning for this sudden rise.

Still holding out hope that Brian Colangelo will take over hockey operations too,

Jason

Did Someone Say Road Trip?

2007-11-01T01:34:00.000-04:00

Those wacky, wacky, mediocre, wacky Maple Leafs. All the consistency of raw egg yolk plus the nauseous taste that makes you want to throw up afterwards too.

What's up with the goaltending? Paul Maurice seems desperate to make Toskala his number one guy but every time he leaves Toskles in net for too many consecutive games he seems to get burned. We're all expecting some kind of return to form for this guy and that two game win streak, yeah remember how sweet that was?, yeah that two game win streak looked like some kind of turning point and then Toskala allows four goals in the first period against the Crapitals of all teams and the Leafs sleep walk through another loss and it's real sweet that Steen was angry afterwards for the camera, but where was that during the game?

Raycroft is no better these days and it seems like the Leafs do have a goaltending duel on their hands. Two goalies dueling it out to see who can earn the right to ride the bench night in and night out. Maybe they should call up Clemmensen. You know the Marlies have yet to lose in regulation through seven games? This is the Marlies we're talking about. Maybe we should do a wholesale roster swap with them. I don't see how it could get much worse than it already is.

Next game is in New Jersey. I don't think we can call it the swamp any more - the arena is in Newark proper right? Not that I know anything about Newark, but it has to be a locale improvement, right? Point is, this is a Winnable game. I've been saying that about a lot of games lately, and look where that's got us. The Leafs can bounce back though, especially on the road. Get away from the ACC. Do a little soul searching guys. Win some games please.

Jason

Whither, World Series?

2007-10-29T01:08:00.000-04:00

What's up Major League Baseball? With Boston's win over Colorado now, that's four years straight where the World Series loser has barely offered up any token resistance on their way down. In fact the second place team has scrounged up one win over that stretch. Over the last four years the winning teams have compiled a record of 16-1. There's nothing compelling about a World Series sweep. You need to get on this MLB.

Boston versus Colorado. The New Evil Empire versus The Faceless White Guys From Colorado (I wasn't paying that much attention during the game but seriously the Rockies' batting order looked like it was picked off a family farm in Iowa). I wrote back in April that the Rockies would spend the season being the one MLB team I knew nothing about, and it's seven months later now and I still don't know anything about them except that they have a hot shot Canadian pitcher, Jeff Francis, who looks like he's seventeen.

Can't cheer for the Rockies, just like I can't cheer for No Name Brand food. Sure I'll eat it, but I'm not going to get excited about it. Can't cheer for the Red Sox, not when they're in command of pro-baseball's second highest payroll. Dudes aren't underdogs anymore. Haven't been for awhile.

Money doesn't matter, they were saying as the Rockies and the Diamondbacks played their series. These guys pay diddly for their players and look how far they got! Got them far enough to play Boston, and look what the Sox did to them. Wiped them clean. Rockies barely put up a fight.

Red Sox fans, probably still suffering from ugly duckling syndrome, don't see anything wrong here. Why would, or should they? The Red Sox went so long without a title that they might as well stockpile as many as they can now while they have the momentum. I just hope though that next year when the Red Sox backlash finally, finally arrives, Sawks fans don't act confused at how normal baseball fans could possibly hate on MLB most stacked team. The Red Sox used to be all hip and indie. Then they won a World Series, lost touch with their roots, let the fame go to their head and turned into the very thing they were supposed to be against. Yeah, I know, the Red Sox are the new iPod.

Endnotes: Jacoby Ellsbury would make an awesome hockey name.

Jason

A Lead Even The Leafs Couldn't Blow

2007-10-25T21:59:00.000-04:00

I was starting to wonder if it actually existed, if there was a lead out there that even the Leafs could hold on to. Two goals has proven too shaky for them, but four? Not even these guys could screw up that bad. Pittsburgh, the patsies who absorbed Toronto's goals this time cut the lead to three goals before the game was out, in an eventual 5-2 loss.

The Leafs looked good. Toskala looked good. Antropov looked good. Steen looked good. Tlusty looked good. No third period self destructions this time. Three straight periods of solid hockey.

The Leafs were playing with a different looking roster, though involuntarily. Tucker and McCabe sat out with injuries, and was this a case of addition by subtraction? Tucker has been a non-factor so far and for McCabe, we don't really need go over that again. Their injuries opened up room for two rookies, two promising rookies, which is something we as Toronto fans have been conditioned to not expect. Anton Stralman and Jiri Tlusty. Tlusty had the big game no one really dared expect from him. Coach Maurice was saying they didn't want to put the world on his shoulders, though too late for that, he's wearing blue and white already right? Tlusty (doesn't rhyme with lusty) scored twice in his first career game, the first a deflection off his derrière - the worst way ever to score your first goal? He made up for it a minute later rushing in on Fleury and snapping the puck top corner far side.

These Leafs are a funny team to gauge eleven games in. Their record is 4-4-3, pure mediocrity right there. They also lead the league in both goals scored and goals allowed which means if these guys could just clamp down defensively and get one of their goaltenders to play consistently, they might have a shot at something. Next game is against the Rangers, one of the few teams who have started this season more disappointingly than Toronto. No reason the Leafs can't win that one.

Jason

Singing the Varsity Football Blues

2007-10-21T19:29:00.000-04:00

I run this little blog here and I like to say it is devoted to Toronto's futility and all the crumminess found on the sports page and yet I have never acknowledged the one team that truly embodies every aspect of Futility in Toronto. This changes, now.

The University of Toronto Men's Football team, the Varsity Blues, has not won a football game in six years, a stretch dating back to 2001 and encompassing an eye-brow raising 48 loses in a row. These guys are good at being bad. Really good. Undisputed champs, but only when it comes to losing.

You would think that at Canada's most prestigious university (it must be if I go there) they would have enough left over cash to invest in an equally prestigious football team. They certainly charge enough. Hah! But that's a complaint for another day. Right now it's all football.

The problems started back in '93 when some policy wonk with memories of being shoved in lockers by over testosteronated high school jocks still keeping him awake at night decided to slash the budget of what had once been a pretty darn decent football organization. We're a place of dignified higher learning after all, and football is so... so uncivilized.

All 48 loses can be attributed to one coach which shows just what kind of organization we are dealing with here, a place where as long as you go out, have fun and try your best guys, there are no losers. And grape popsicles after every game! If this had been any one of Ontario's, ahem, lesser universities, a line probably would have been drawn a long time ago.

I'm not sure if this team is even heading in the right direction. They have a swanky new stadium, but that just might be to keep up appearances. The Phoenix Coyotes got a new stadium a couple years ago and damned if they ever did anything to deserve it. At this point you just have to sit back and appreciate the Varsity Blues for what they are: a group of lovable losers destined to forever finish behind on the scoreboard. And as long as these guys keep it up, we'll be able to objectively say that the Maple Leafs are not the worst show in town.

Jason

McCabe, McCabe, McCabe

2007-10-16T22:37:00.000-04:00

Bryan McCabe! Don't listen to the boos. It's not your fault you're the highest paid player on the team. If John Ferguson drove up to my house with a few garbage bags full of money I'd take it too.

This just isn't your week that's all, what with scoring against your own team in overtime. Let's not even mention that tricky net that hip checked you. I mean, who expects that kind of dirty play from the net? But that own-goal was brutal. It's like you're trying to give Toronto a reason to hate you. We certainly can't hate Antropov anymore, he leads the team in goals! Remember that time you scored 19 goals in a season? Yeah, that was pretty sweet.

And it's not like you were the worst defenseman for the Leafs in Buffalo. Did you see Pavel Kubina? He was awful! You should partner up with him McCabe, you'll probably look better just by comparison. And how come no one is pointing fingers at Mats Sundin, huh McCabe? He was on the ice for four goals. Surely that's at least equal to one own goal?

The third periods are killing you guys McCabe. You guys were beautiful for the first two. Didn't allow a single goal for two whole periods! I guess I just know you guys too well because I couldn't even enjoy those two periods because I kept thinking "They still have to play the third period" which is like in triathlons when they say, "They still have to run the marathon." It's not even close to being over. So I can't say I was surprised McCabe when you guys let Buffalo score two really quick goals to the game. Heck, Pittsburgh did the exact same thing to you guys. It's almost like your personal trademark. "How fast can we blow the lead?"

I was impressed that you guys managed to respond quickly. That Chad Kilger, I mean he knows when to show up, but then it went into overtime and someone took a penalty (was it Kubina, McCabe? I don't remember who but I'd put hard money on him being the goat) with less than two remaining, and whooo boy, little warning bells were going off.

Don't worry McCabe, I estimate it will only take two more own-goals before Fergie will have no choice but to get rid of you. I bet Long island would take you a second! Wouldn't that be cool? Back to New York? I know they already made Guerin their captain and everything but you have prior experience with the job. I think it would work out is all I'm saying. And just think of it, then you'd be able to score on the Leafs all you want, and nobody would get mad at you. I think it's a lot more satisfying that way.

Sincerely,

Jason

Rout the Islanders and Call Me in the Morning

2007-10-11T23:23:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I wonder why I even follow hockey. Why do I invest so much energy into a passion that has provided so little return? You have your team that you cheer for and if you are lucky it's not run by soulless corporate jerkoffs and if you are really lucky, they even win championship or two. But sometimes you are not lucky and you find yourself stuck cheering for a group of stiffs on skates and it becomes really easy to remember how trivial sports can be, when compared to quiet revolutions in Burma or even just one man's fight against cancer. Sometimes for me it's just a bunch of bulky ballerinas chasing a rubber puck around on skates.

And then sometimes something special happens, and I am reminded why anyone would care about hockey, would care about baseball, would care about football, would care about professional snookers even. Sometimes Mats Sundin takes the all time scoring lead in Maple Leafs history and the ACC erupts into delirious ovation and Mats can just sit there beaming, wiping the hint of tears from the edges of his eyes as he acknowledges the crowd's appreciation as many times as they need it and on times like that, all I can do is sit back and remember why I bother with any of this at all. We're all waiting for those special moments, whether they are as obvious as winning the championship, or the small personal accomplishments that set a benchmark in perseverance and dedication. A shiny headed Saku Koivu stepping on to the ice. Cal Ripken breaking the Iron Man streak. Mats Sundin passing Darryl Sittler. That's why I'm here.

The best part of the night was that Mats received two ovations for the occasion. The first was a false alarm, a ghost assist tacked onto deft goal by Kaberle. Leafs TV, and Mats himself (this guy is Class), were quick to point out that he had not so much touched the puck on the scoring play. Didn't stop the PA from dropping his name, and it certainly didn't stop the crowd from giving Mats his due. The assist was retracted eventually, though Sundin wasn't finished. In the third he sent a cross ice pass that deflected off an Islander defenceman and past Dubielewicz and there was no argument on this one. The officials paused the game, and the cheers rained down as Mats couldn't keep his smile down. We may never see him raise a Stanley Cup, but if he has a bigger smile than the one he had tonight, a Cup win is the only time we'll ever see it.

And how about the game? The Leafs were coming off a 7-1 undressing from the resurgent Hurricanes (who ended Ottawa's win streak tonight, oh yes, oh yes), so of course they responded with eight goals of their own tonight against Long Island, good for an 8-1 win, number two on the season.

Raycroft was solid, though this just creates more questions in net. Raycroft or Toskala? I have a soft spot for Raycroft, and if he's going to pay off like he did tonight, I say ride that pony for all he's worth... It's pretty clear after just one game but Simon "Smache" Gamache should have started the season with the big team. Though the guy looks like he's been called up from the Ozarks, not Ricoh Colosseum... How about Matty Stajan. He had a goal and three assists to give him six points in his first five. I'm going to start calling him the Big Stage... Alex Steen played on the first line and got his first goal for it. I like Steener and Sundin together. It just occurred to me that because this game was broadcast on Leafs TV, a very large number of people who might normally be watching did not, and therefore missed Mats' milestone. This is so wrong. Seeing it on the highlight reel is not the same.

Jason

PS I'm just finding this out now, but Mike Comrie has hooked up with Hilary Duff which is both non sequitur and a decent explanation for his strong start. It also raises the number of famous hockey girlfriends in the NHL to, by my count, two. I expect the LA Kings' youth brigade to get working on this shortage. I mean, if the sight of Anze Kopitar doesn't get you hot...

Oh, Ok, It's Just The Cancer

2007-10-08T22:42:00.000-04:00

Back off on Jason Blake guys, he's got the cancer. It's called chronic myelogenous leukemia which must also be known as the form of cancer for the busy, modern man-about-town who simply does not have the time to commit for lengthy rounds of chemotherapy. It's eminently treatable with just a few pills a day say doctors, which is good - this is not Phil Kessel redux. Not to lose sight of the only reason we care about Mr. Blake's health, he won't be missing any hockey. This must be the most civilized, agreeable form of cancer there is. I think most Leaf fans, on hearing the word "leukemia" linked to their newest saviour three games into his blue and white career were not thinking, "I hope the Blake family all the best, and a speedy recovery."

More like, "Who the hell is going to play with Mats now?"

But it's all moot. The little lug'll be fine, so it's ok to joke. It would be different if it was a more malignant strain; if Jason Blake's life was at stake. Then the question would be, "Does a dead player's salary count against the cap?"

Jason

This is a Real Fear of Mine

2007-10-07T11:52:00.000-04:00

Sometimes when I watch my Leafs stumbled around the rink I start to worry that the last goal they scored will be the last goal they ever score. I get this unshakable feeling that the Leafs' tentative, unsure forecheck will never click and that their sloppy passes and weak shots will never connect in any meaningful way. Sometimes they can muster all the creativity, all the originality of a Hallmark greeting card, relying on a lackluster dump'n'chase and far too many weak passes. Watching them, I sometimes think that whichever team holds the record for most shut-outs against in one season doesn't have to worry much longer.

The bright-side, if there is one, is that when the Leafs do score - yeah it happens every now and then - it feels like they have defied some incredible odds to put the puck in the back of the net. To me, with every goal it feels as if they have accomplished so much more than I had any right to ever expect. Each Leaf goal counts extra for me, each Leaf goal is something to cherish and hold on to because who knows how long it will be before the next one will show up. The longest goalless streak in league history always feels just around the corner.

Every time a Leaf pass is intercepted in the neutral zone or another blue and white rush crashes into the opposing d-line only to be stopped in their tracks, every time an opposing goalie makes a save he has no business saving it just serves as further proof as to the futility of the Leafs' offence. The tools to put it together seem to be there, they just need to find where they lost the instruction manual.

Jason

How About Those Third Periods

2007-10-05T00:33:00.000-04:00

Vesa Toskala over Andrew Raycroft? Yeah? For real? Wrong again Maurice...Two games in and Toronto has a recurring theme going in the third period. Those late goals are brutal... Mats Sundin did what he couldn't last year, tie Daddy Sittler for goals as a Leaf... Me and Matt Stajan have this thing going where I make fun of him, and then he goes and scores a goal. Two games straight now. Hey Matty, I gave your mom syphilis... I think Darren Dutchyshen does coke. I can't explain him any other way... Wake me up next October...

Jason

Meditations on a Loss

2007-10-03T23:36:00.000-04:00

This is great. It's only a game into the regular season and we already get to second guess Paul Maurice. Raycroft over Toskala? Yeah? For real? Oh this is just the start. Toskala will start game two, and Ottawa will win, because they're Ottawa, and everyone will be all, Toskala over Raycroft? Yeah? For real? This is going to be a fun season, I can tell.

The Leafs were competitive, especially during the second, but Ottawa ramped it up in the third and Heatley, who I really thought was heading to free agency next season, rewarded the team that had rewarded him so handsomely with a pair of goals. He's averaging almost a goal per game when he faces Toronto. Raycroft was ok, and I don't want to blame the loss on him. How about a powerplay that couldn't score? And how about Wade Redden, who looked like he had a personal vendetta against Toronto's fourth line. I like this side of Redden. Kudos to the Leafs for getting Ottawa to sink to that level. Or it might just be Mighty Duck syndrome. Everybody wants the fighting majors these days.

Andy the Woz was solid, having to go one on one with Heatley a couple times. Antropov is gonna have one of those good seasons. I'll keep saying it. I made fun of Matt Stajan yesterday, and then he scored. Hey Matt, your face is stupid.

Oh and in "hey he's just noticing this now?" news, Pierre Maguire is not very good at his job. There is no law of commentating that states that the quality of commentating increases proportional to the number of decibels you can hit. In fact it's probably the reverse. Gord Miller is also pretty blah. And poor Dave Randorf, I associate his voice with B-grade world championships and Spengler Cups. I can't take the guy seriously. While I'm criticizing TSN, Kanye is not the right musical artist to be sponsoring four middle aged white guys talking about hockey. It only leads to Bob MacKenzie namedropping Fiddy, and this is not something anyone needs to hear, ever.

Jason

The Toronto Maple Leafs: A Pre-Mortem

2007-10-02T21:41:00.001-04:00

Leafs start the season tomorrow and as much as I want to be optimistic about these guys, it's hard to do. Safety Razor and Toskles failed completely to instill any reason for confidence in Toronto's goaltending situation. Yeah, the pre-season doesn't matter. But does Toskala really think having the Leafs full roster in front of him is going to really make that much of a difference? Has he seen Toronto's starting roster? Matty Stajan is our number two centre.

Injuries to Wellwood and Colaiacovo hurt hard. This was supposed to Wellwood's Year. Same for Carlo. Why doesn't Belak ever get injured.

I like the the prospective fourth line of Devereaux-Newbury-Battaglia. That's a scrappy line. Blake-Sundin-Anybody is shaping up like it might be worth the hype it gets. After that I don't know. Antropov will have a big year. He has to. The Woz will final get the chance he deserves but I don't think there's room back there for Anton Stralman. Maybe once they trade McCabe...

Opening two straight against Ottawa doesn't help anyone, but otherwise October looks pretty winnable for the Leafs. Nine games at home to just four on the road and games against potential punching bags like Long Island, Washington and Florida. That would be cautious optimism I'm trying to express.

Game one starts 7:30 tomorrow, but I'm in class till eight. I forgot to schedule my classes around the Leafs schedule, again. Does this make me somehow less of a fan?

Yeah, probably.

Jason

Endnotes: Wikipedia has a list of properly sourced hockey nicknames and www.kevinweekes.com is totally not something I just made up. I'm done.

Commence the Invasion

2007-09-30T22:33:00.000-04:00

I'm am skeptical of anybody who feels the need to specify the game as ice hockey, which limits my skepticism to only, oh let's say, everybody in Britain.

Regardless of what I think (a common trend among Gary Bettman's decisions), the NHL put two regular season games in sunny London, England (I'm sure London, Ontario would have appreciated them just as much).

The NHL deserves props for making them regular season games; games for points and glory and everything. Any two bit major sports league could schedule a pre-season game across the ocean, but those invariably turn out to be bland affairs that lack any real star power. This way, Europe gets to see what real hockey is like, not that Brits really have anything to compare it to.

I watched the Saturday opener between Anaheim and LA. The crowd at the O2 Stadium (owned by the same suit who owns the Kings, of course) was the real highlight. It was a regular United Nations of sweaters circling the ice. Name a hockey team, and 5 quid says they were represented by a fan. My favourite was the pair of green St. Pats one couple was rocking.

The game itself was ok. Anaheim doesn't look ready. Not having Niedermayer and Selanne will really hurt them. Their absence plus the jet lag sucker punch is going to translate into slow going early on. Bertuzzi looked eager though. This might be his comeback year.

The Kings could surprise some people this season. They ripped the Ducks apart on the powerplay, and they might finally, just maybe, cross your fingers, have found a goalie they can ride in nineteen year old Jonathan Bernier. That would be a major victory for LA, which hasn't had anything legit in between the pipes for as far back as I care to remember.

The final score was 4-1 LA, though Anaheim evened up the series with their own 4-1 victory the next day.

The league is for sure interested in more European jaunts after seeing the arena at capacity and they sure as hell can't let the NBA - the league that went from All-American to Cosmopolitan seemingly overnight and has half their teams doing European training camps as I type - conquer the old world. Word is Prague, a city that actually plays the game, might get the season opener next year. Who knows, fifteen year from now, the only place with any guarantee of not hosting a debut will be cities in North America.

Jason

NHL Predictions, Cause Who Else Can You Trust?

2007-09-29T17:52:00.000-04:00

It's my favourite time of year, the days right before the start of the hockey season, the days when you can really mean it when you say every team has a shot, every team could surprise us, and that this might just be the year the Leafs win. But then some jerk has to go and drop a puck somewhere and all of a sudden you realize everything your team did in the off season was for nothing and that once again the parade will be somewhere else. Well, I'm here to spare you the heart breaking suspense and give you the inside info on whether your team sucks or not. Hint: they probably do.

East
1.Rangers
New York went through a time warp in the off season, transporting themselves back to a time when they could get any player they wanted simply because they had all the money in the world. Those players, Chris Drury and Scott Gomez, make the Rangers the best in the East. They weren't bad before; now they are dangerous. Welcome to the new old NHL.

2.Ottawa
In my biased opinion, I think the Sens reached their apex last year and everything now is just part of their slow, drawn out decline. It'll start with not resigning Dany Heatley, just wait. For now the Sens are the best in their division, so they'll win but mark my words, this is a broken team.

3.Atlanta
The Thrashers didn't do much over the summer, but I think the division is weak enough to let that slide. This team is still good enough to win the Southeast but winning a series might still be asking much.

4.Pittsburgh
Yeah, yeah, Pittsburgh is hot stuff right now, but they still have an average age of 16, so I'll cool the urge to give them the Presidents Trophy, though the engravers could probably save time by etching Crosby's name into the next ten empty spots on the Art Ross right now. Pittsburgh will be good, but the young guns are probably still feeling a little cocky over last year, which is not the ideal frame of mind.

5.Buffalo
If you didn't feel bad for Buffalo over the offseason you either live in western New York or you're the type of sick freak who skins cats for fun. First their top players bolt and then Kevin Lowe makes Tomas Vanek a very wealthy man. But Buffalo didn't get through last year simply on the strength of two players, they succeeded because they were deep like a good haiku and now they get to demonstrate it. They won't be as good, but I don't think that's saying much.

6.Philadelphia
I didn't like the way Phillie raided Nashville's sinking ship, but you can`t argue with the results. Philadelphia has undergone a radical face lift, and is once again pretty enough to get invited to the ball. Goaltending seems shaky but why bet against Marty Biron? Philadelphia fans will quickly forget that they ever finished dead last in the East.

7.Carolina
I like Carolina. This is still essentially the same team that won the Stanley Cup, and I'm willing to write last year off as an extended hangover. It's a mulligan folks. And the Southeast still isn't anything to get worked up about. The Canes are back.

8.Toronto
Home town discount again, but this time I think the potential is there. Last year I was pretty hesitant to put my boys even in eighth, but this year it can happen. Vesa Toskala has been bad, and Kyle Wellwood will be out for a while which is not helping, but no worries. And really, even if the Leafs do tank, at least no more Fergie.

9.Tampa Bay
The big three are poised for a big year, but I'm trying to think of any one else on the team you'd need to watch out for. Defense is just ok, and that was before losing Dan "Watched Pots Don't" Boyle" and goaltending is still whatever.

10.New Jersey
I don't like putting New jersey out of the playoffs as long as Martin Brodeur reigns, but where else to put a team that lost two of its key players like they did. Jersey is no Buffalo. Sweet Lou Lamoriello held this team together admirably in the first years post-lock out, but not even his wizardry could keep it whole forever. Plus, can he keep Brent Sutter for more than a season?

11.Montreal
The only good thing I can say about Montreal's offseaon is that they somehow found a team willing to take Sergei Samsonov. Roman Hamrlik is probably an improvement on Sheldon Souray, but Montreal still feels thoroughly average.

12.Washington
Props to the Caps for giving Alexander Ovechkin some half way decent players to pass to him, but this is still a one player show.

13.Islanders
The Islanders surprised everybody by generally not sucking ass last season, but they were forced during the summer to replace most of their overachieving mediocre vets with a brand new cast of mediocre vets like it was some sort of reality tv show (Twenty strangers. One hockey team. Can they overcome their differences and learn to work as a team?). Ted Nolan can't do everything.

14.Florida
I don't have anything against Florida but ever since Roberto Luongo left town, what's the point? Florida feels like they might be a good team in another couple years, but for now I'm not sold.

15.Boston
Yeah I just don't know. The Blackhawks of the East just seem to get worse, the more they try to get better. It's probably a zen thing. Boston won't be any better this year.

West
1.Detroit
Man I'm tired of betting against Detroit only for them show me up every year, so here we go: Detroit in first. Just watch now, Dominik Hasek is going to put up a .876 average, and I'm gonna look like an idiot again.

2.San Jose
San Jose continues to be that team that does everything right, but still can't get close to the cup. They have the offense, the defense and the goaltending plus lots of young talent, and now they have Jeremy Roenick to shake things up. Who knows, maybe Roenick will be the wrinkly California version of Sean Avery that sparks the Sharks to new levels of greatness. Or maybe he'll retire by November. Whatever.

3.Calgary
Yeah their offseason said "hey guys we're getting pretty desperate," (Mike Keenan AND Owen Nolan?) but I think they are still capable of winning a division.

4.Anaheim
I hate it when players prolong their retirement decision, and Anaheim has two players protracting the process. If neither Scott Niedermayer nor Teemu Selanne return (my money's on Nieds coming back) it's hard to imagine the Ducks repeating.

5.Colorado
I think Colorado will be back with a vengeance this year. Peter Budaj will establish himself as a number one, and Jose Theodore will play well enough to make a few dollars as a free agent. the Avs have loads of talented youngsters (Wojtek Wolski, Marek Svatos, Paul Statsny, John Michael Liles) plus Ryan Smyth. Ryan Smyth man.

6.Vancouver
I put them in essentially because of Roberto Luongo. No, not essentially: entirely. They don't have much in the way of offense and there's no reason to think that Marcus Naslund or Brendan Morrison will re-emerge as legit scoring threats. But as long as Luongo is between the pipes, they're capable of doing anything.

7.Minnesota
Four teams from the same division might be pushing it, but Minnie is certainly good enough to make the playoffs, that is, assuming they can squeeze a whole season out of Marian Gaborik. Wishful thinking?

8.Nashville
It breaks my heart, it really does, to see Nashville like this. They lost a lot, and are now relying on a guy named Chris Mason to mind their net (strictly on the level of Hockey Names, Mason has nothing on Vokoun). They great group of youngsters that gave them so much depth have become their go to guys. No room for mistakes.

9.Dallas
The Stars are one of those teams who at first glance don't look like they should be all that good, and yet still manage to put up 100+ point seasons. I think that will end this year. Is it time to start looking for a replacement for Mike Modano yet guys?

10.Chicago
Chicago could so easily make the playoffs, let's be clear on that. They are an improving team, which is probably the first time in fifteen years you can say that and mean it about Chicago. They're still relying on a whack of young guys though, so maybe some caution is necessary. Bill Wirtz is dead though, kind of poetic, as if his old heart couldn't understand or fathom how his hockey team was improving under his watch.

11.St. Louis
Another rapidly improving hockey team, St. Louis should challenge for the playoffs this year. They probably won't make it, but if their strong finish to last season was any sign, things are going to get better in Missouri.

12.Los Angeles
LA has a lot going for it. They have a great core of young players like Mike Cammallieri and Anze Kopitar and even a young goaltending stud in Jonathan Bernier, plus Marc Crawford's hair. Unfortunately, instead of being content to let their promising pot simmer, they tossed in a bunch of free agent effluence that will just dilute the recipe. Either way I don't think they'll being making the playoffs, but at least get your plan straight, you know?

13. Columbus
So Columbus is rebuilding again, but that's not really accurate because there was nothing really built to begin with. Ken Hitchcock as coach will help, and you can't imagine Rick Nash being much worse than he was last season.

14.Edmonton
A couple of years ago Edmonton looked poised to make next step to being a great team. They were flush with talented youngsters, any one of which was liable to break out any moment. Shawn Horcoff. Fernando Pisani. Raffi Torres. But then the team hit a hiccough as all of the young guns stalled and all of their free agents sought as much distance between them and the city as possible. Business as usual in Edmonton.

15.Phoenix
Phoenix is not a good team. No offense, no goaltending, and a very young defense mean it's only going to get worse before it gets better for Wayne Gretzky. A lot worse. Which is stupid because that's what everybody's been saying about the Coyotes for years and it's still just as true today as it was five years ago. Nothing is rising from these ashes any time soon.

And for a finale, some even more poorly informed predictions: Art Ross to Sidney Crosby, Rocket Richard to Crosby, Hart to Crosby, Selke to Crosby, and in a surprising and unprecedented coup, both the Norris and Vezina to Crosby.

I'll give the Stanley Cup to Ottawa, because we all know the only way to guarantee a team missing the Cup is to predict their winning in September. Suck on that Ottawa.

Jason

A Case for Keeping the Monarchy

2007-09-28T22:56:00.000-04:00

The Queen likes hockey.

Pre-season Whatevers

2007-09-19T23:43:00.000-04:00

The Leafs are doing their pre-season thing and the question of who will play with Mats Sundin has taken on a level of ridiculous speculation. Is Jason Blake the player that Mats has been waiting for for the past decade, the player who will convert every one of Sundin's sweet Swedish passes into pretty goals and career numbers and save us from another year of no playoffs? Yes, apparently, if you want to listen to the hype.

Me personally, I have my eye on Nik Antropov and Alexei Ponikarovsky. Hah, no I'm serious. This is their year. When Antropov is healthy, and come on, there's no way he can spend any more time on the DL, the guy is due, anyway, when he's healthy, he's actually got some game. Just watch. And Poni, well, did you see his breakaway goal in Edmonton? Poni is a workhorse.

The Leafs won their game in Winnipeg against Phoenix today, a game that was probably scheduled to shut up people in the Peg who still want their Jets back. C'mon, nobody wants the Coyotes. Alex Steen picked up a goal which was a nice tribute to Daddy Steen and Andrew Raycroft got the win which is just nice anytime.

The Leafs also brought Simon Gamache to training camp, and this guy is supposed to be hot shit over in Europe and the AHL, though if there's any room in the bigs for him probably depends on how well he translates his game. The Leafs are also guaranteeing a pre-season start for Scott Clemmensen who had the NHL's easiest back up role last year working behind Martin Brodeur. If I can be petty here, it was Clemancy who lost the final game of the season last year for New Jersey to the Islanders, which gave New York one more point than Toronto and the final playoff spot. If I can summarize, the Leafs failure last year can be blamed entirely on Scott Clemmesen.
I hope his ass gets shelled.

Jason

Hockey Lit 101

2007-09-18T22:55:00.000-04:00

A book that should be on every discerning hockey fan's bookshelf is Peter Gzowski's The Game of Our Lives, and if it's already there, it could probably do with a re-reading.

It goes like this: back in 1980, Gzowski shacked up with the Edmonton Oilers for an entire season, and when he was done, he wrote a book, a book that is not only a tribute to the players and team that would in a few years go on to be one of the greatest hockey teams ever assembled, but also a loving and glowing monument to all that is great and wonderful about our game.

It hearkens back to expansion era hockey, when the scores were high and the salaries still low. I wasn't alive for any of this, so it's all fresh and exciting for me, and interesting to see how the hockey players of yesterday are the management of today. Bob Gainey, Doug Risebrough, half a dozen Sutters to choose from and many more current boardroom members crowd the Gzowski's pages. Foreigners were still soft; the Islanders were the best thing on skates; Gretzky was just twenty; Kurri couldn't speak English; Messier was just a bundle of unfocused, raucous energy; Coffey was a shy wallflower and Glenn Sather was still just as dominating as he is today. It's like a kids show that never got made. The Baby Oilers.

The book is even more so poignant and apropos these days because of the real life parallel occurring in Pittsburgh as we speak. It's impossible not to draw the parallels as you read between the Oilers of yesterday and the Penguins of today. Gretzky and Crosby, both calm and more down to earth than they have any right to be. Both are surrounded by an explosion of youth ready to burst out. They called Gretzky the Kid, back in the day. I didn't know that. The Waynderful One. They didn't call him that one, but they should have.

Read this book if you ever need a reminder of why hockey is great, why we put up with hockey teams in Florida and owners who don't care and all the other bollocks that gets in the way, why it's our game, the game of our lives.

Jason

Dem Blueboids Ain't Gots It

2007-09-18T22:26:00.000-04:00

Ok, the Blue Jays are done, after entering September at least pretending to be in the wild card hunt and then going an ugly 5-9. So what about next year?

JP Ricciardi says he likes his team, for all their problems on the field, and that he likes his manager, for all his problems in the dugout. In essence, the '08 Blue Jays are going to resemble the '07 version mighty closely.

Ugh. JP blames injuries for the bird crap the Jays have been spitting out this season, says this season doesn't really represent what the Jays are capable of, and as such, everybody gets a second chance! Whoooooo! Hey guys, forget that we've had our full roster since the beginning of August and forget that we've put up the lowest staff ERA in the AL for the last two months, and still only managed .500 ball, forget all that. Just try again guys, because the most important thing is that everybody gets a chance and nobody feels bad! Winning isn't everything, eh guys?

John Gibbons isn't a bad manager. But he's not a good one either. Logic dictates that after two completely uninspiring season in the dugout in which his team has shown all the determination and drive of a broken down golf cart, the Jays should be looking around for somebody new. No hard feelings to Gibby, but come on, where's the passion?

But Gibby's going to get another year because JP Ricciardi has one more year. I think it's fair to say that JP has lost Toronto's goodwill. It doesn't help that he treats us, the fans, like we are a minor nuisance that are somehow inconsequential to the job he is doing. Remember when he lied about BJ Ryan's injury?

One more year of flush payroll and mediocre results should lead to JP, and Gibbons with him, being fired. One more year...

Jason

New Leafs Duds... Are a Dud

2007-09-16T01:31:00.000-04:00

Yeah, well they could be worse right? I mean, they could have numbers on the front, or TORONTO spelled out for us across the chest or a bright red Ontario flag on the sleeve or god forbid another stripe or two.

They really do need stripes along the bottom to anchor the whole thing, the home darks especially. Otherwise it's just...a wall of blue. I never thought I could feel so passionately about the need for horizontal lines anywhere, but here we are.

At least Tucker seems to like them.

Who Signed J.R?

2007-09-04T22:06:00.000-04:00

San Jose did. Prediction: Roenick scores his five goals, hits five hundred and retires citing the changing nature of the game and that he has realized that he can no longer keep up with the youngsters anymore, at which point he is signed by NBC so that he can utilize his one remaining asset: his mouth. I love JR and all, but it's painful to watch a guy like him hobble around the ice. Retire, please?

Reebok, What Have You Done Now

2007-08-31T02:44:00.000-04:00

Have you seen the new Vancouver Canucks jerseys? Oh man. What planet do they have to sequester their fashion consultants on to get them to agree on these bad boys? So many mixed messages. They brought back the green and blue, which was inevitable I guess, but kept the exploding orca and topped it off with a big ol' reminder that hey guys, we play in Vancouver. I could have gotten behind mish mashing the two jerseys, but the nameplate kills it for me. Makes it feel hugely retro and confusing.

The new NHL jerseys have been trickling out all summer long, and while some teams have opted to keep it simple (Detroit, Nashville, LA and the Rangers) others have used it as an excuse to add some serious ugly. Poor Dipietro. The Islanders don't seem to know what they are doing on or off the ice. They riff on their upstate rival's habit of putting numbers on the front, and then they enlarge their logo because I guess they must have realized their aging baby boomer fans can't see as well as they used too. I think Long Island is the one place you don't want to be captain now. There is a lot going on there.

Tampa Bay and San Jose went for the same design philosophy: new and sleek and stylishly boring. Both have newly stylized emblems updated for the new millennium and I think San Jose might be trying to sneak some orange into their colours. I've been thinking for a while now that both of these teams could use a break from the kitschy early 90's inspired logos they were born with, and I guess I shouldn't ask for more.

It's not all bad; some of the teams that couldn't keep their secret have actually done well. The winners so far are Columbus and Boston I think. Columbus will be adopting that oh so snazzy dark blue patriotic number that had been slowly creeping more and more into Columbus' dressing room and all I can say is finally. Boston went small on their changes, adding serifs to the big B and some black outlines but all it does is make it look better. So far the Original Six teams haven't dropped the ball, but all that means is that there is a bigger chance it will be the Leafs who screw it up. They've already said that there will be changes to the leaf and while I don't think anyone at MLSE would be crazy enough to follow the lead of Tampa and San Jose and create some kind of ungodly stylized maple leaf cum ninja star, this is still the Leafs we are talking about so frankly, it could end up worse. The new Leaf duds drop in two weeks.

Florida seriously dropped the ball on their jerseys, I mean guys this is textbook how not to design a jersey. It's their whites that particularly offend my eyeballs. The Senators updated theirs too, and I will begrudgingly admit that they have made an improvement but let's all be honest with ourselves, they still suck eggs. Am I right or what.

Finally there's Washington, who I will give a tentative thumbs up for their change in direction. By change in direction I do of course mean backwards. Like Vancouver, the Caps have pulled the retro threads out for another try, except unlike Vancouver, the folks in Washington can commit to one idea at a time. Washington's new logo is just modern enough and I think their whites are particularly spiffy. The darks are maybe a little red, and I've never thought Alexander Ovechkin has looked particularly good while suiting up in the motherland's colours. Hey, do you think it's a coincidence that Washington has stepped in line with Russia's colour scheme?

We still have more than half the NHL waiting to walk down the runway. Calgary and Montreal are next and I wouldn't bet on big changes from either team. I'm still worried about my Leafs though. And while we are at it, nhllogos.blogspot.com these guys are the place for logo updates.

Jason

Power Rangers, Go

2007-08-23T00:30:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to say before I disappear for a week up north and maybe get eaten by a bear, that tonight's record setting 30-3 win for Texas over Baltimore is absolutely ridiculous. It's incredible that a score like that is even possible in what is supposed to be the elitest baseball league in the world.

I mean, 30-3's are supposed to be reserved for when the island of Fiji's baseball team squares off against the US's, not when two fairly equal major league teams meet.

Just look at that score, 30-3. How does that happen. How does Baltimore's pitching staff turn into a Single-A rotation for one night. How do they all suck so hard, all at the same time.

Is it... is it time to start demoting teams to AAA a la European soccer leagues? Cause Baltimore, I'm looking at you.

Jason

A Simple Truth

2007-08-16T01:15:00.000-04:00

Shawn Marcum is mmmmmoney in the bank

Mark, Do Not Ask For Who the Bell Tolls

2007-08-16T00:55:00.000-04:00

Oh man, if there's one thing we haven't had enough of lately in the Leafs dressing room it's convicted criminals. I mean, Eddie Belfour waited until he got to Florida before he started showing off his Irish side and Dougie Gilmour's nickname "Killer" was I'm pretty sure just a joke.

Don't worry guys, we got Mark Bell now, just freshly convicted of drunk driving and fleeing the scene. Thankfully Bell's a pro-athlete which qualifies him for the much radder special privileged people's court so he won't have to serve any jail time during the season. Thanks American justice system!

Though from what I've heard about the newest underachiever in Leafland, maybe the best way for him to contribute to this team would be from in a San Jose jail cell.

Jason

Some Guys Use DeLoreans, Others Use Phonebooths. All I Need Is A Newspaper

2007-08-13T20:15:00.000-04:00

I found something amazing in my basement the other day. I have in my hands the Toronto Star's Sports section from April 29.

1990.

The front page, yellowed and smelly but still serviceable, had three stories, as well as pictures of a moody looking Al MacInnis sporting ugly World Championships issue Team Canada duds and Billy Ranford taking some serious goaltender interference. The lead story was boxing - Thomas Hearns beating Micheal Olajide if you care, which leads me to surmise that the primitive people of the early nineties still cared about boxing.

Also ran was a story about the Blue Jays, losers of three straight taking their latest from the White Sox 5-4 at Comiskey Park, which is probably the funniest way of spelling US Cellular Field I've ever seen. The Jays went on to record an 86-76 finish which was considered disappointing by the spoiled fans of the early nineties Jays. The Jays starter that night in April was a dude named Mike Flanagan who the Internet tells me only started five games all season and was out the door by the next one. The White Sox debuted rookie Jerry Kutzler who got the win, which must have been the highlight of his career because he only played six more games in the bigs and I can't say I don't feel glad to know that.

The bottom story was about the St. Louis Blues forcing game seven against the Chicago Blackhawks thanks to two goals by Brett Hull. The winner of game seven, Chicago, incidentally, would go on to face the eventual Stanley Cup winners, the Edmonton Oilers in something called the Norris Division finals. Call me a smart-assed ankle biter if you will, but how did the NHL get by with such useless division names? And why was Toronto grouped with the Western teams, while we're at it. Staying topical, the Hawks coach at the time was Calgary's current new flame (oh man, I totally did not intend that pun) Mike Keenan. Daaang has that guy been around. The Hawks were also relying on the unproven goaltending of some kid named Belfour, who lasted all of two and a half minutes before the Keener yanked him.

Delving inside, we find the reason for Al Mac's resigned scowl was because Team Canada had lost to those damned Czechoslovaks 3-2 at the World Hockey Championships in Bern. Canada was coached by Dave King (who is speculated elsewhere to soon make the jump to the NHL, though that would be delayed for two years) and the goaltending tandem of Kirk Mclean and Bob Essensa while the Czechoslovaks went with Dominik Hasek. The article hearkened back to simpler times in the NHL, when there actually was some difference between North America and European hockey, when the Soviets were still scary, when Alan Eagleson was still cool.

Below that is an piece on the outraged Habitants who were of course still in shock that they would not be drinking from the Cup that year. "They've become so accustomed to winning, many consider it some sort of divine right that they keep Lord Stanley's old goblet year after year." I think it's safe to say that after fourteen years without it now, Montreal is probably over it's withdrawal symptoms. But the columnist was no fool. "...Montreal is, as usual, not far removed from the Cup." I don't think I need to remind you who won the cup three years later.

Misc hockey notes: The owners of the Minnesota North Stars are planning on selling their franchise in order to obtain an expansion team in Silicon Valley and the Nordiques are looking to sign their number one overall draft pick, a spunky Swede with generous blond hair, Mats something who is showing "a large amount of talent" while with Djurgarden, recent winners of the Swedish Elite Division, beating out Hakan Loob's Farjestad.

This one has nothing to do with sports, but there is a giant ad for what is described as "The Ultimate Business Weapon". Yes, we're talking cellular phones. The Motorola cellular phone is of course the lightest and smallest model on the market at a slim and svelte 12.3 ounces and 15.8 inches and features a novel way to hang up. Simply flip the mouthpiece shut to end the call! Oh my! Ok, I'll stop.

Page Six features a small blurb about the world snooker championship, which is probably exactly one more small blurb about snooker than the Toronto Star has ran in the last decade.

And finally, file this one under "Some Things Never Change" but the back page featured several goalies complaining about the rampant goaltending interference and abuse they've had to suffer. I'm sure they'd be happy to know that 17 years later, their descendants are keeping the fight alive.

Jason

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarry

2007-08-11T01:57:00.000-04:00

Baaaaaaaaaaarry. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarry. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarry.

Yeah, yeah he hit the freaking home run finally. Honestly back when he was passing Babe Ruth I was pretty he sure he would be dead before he ever got this far, or at least I don't know, hobbling around on artificial hips or something. I didn't think he would do it. So I can find something to appreciate about the feat, even if Barry Bonds is a rather large taint when it comes to being a human being.

I'm also glad he had the decency to hit 756 in San Fransisco because wouldn't you hate to have people booing what should be a happy moment, so that whenever sport shows drag out archive footage of that moment for whatever top ten the interns in the back room pulled out of their asses we won't have boos drowning the whole thing out? Asterix or not, he should be able to enjoy his moment. I just hope he retires after this year, that's really all I ask.

I'm approaching the whole Bonds steroids thing from a kind of zen position, I've made peace with it and moved on. It helps to know that Barry won't be number one in ten years thanks to MLB's other designated asswipe, Alex Rodriguez. Now there's a hate on I can get behind.

Can't you imagine it? If A-Rod is a douche now, when he's in the prime of his career playing for the most prestigious baseball team in the world and putting up numbers like he was Baseballbot 3000, imagine what he'll be like when he's a forty year old DH in Kansas and the only thing he has to play for is a record nobody wants him to break. He'll make Barry look like he was on Zoloft, not testosterone.

I think the era of sport heroes being decent human beings is officially over.

Jason

Let the Kids Play

2007-08-05T18:34:00.001-04:00

Good golly but why is it so hard for managers to figure this out? During the winter J.P Ricciardi signed a slew of over the hill veteran journeymen, and the only one who panned out, ok he didn't just pan out, was Matt Stairs and that probably has more to do with being home and not so much due to J.P's uncanny eye for talent. Royce Clayton was finally cut a few days ago, so we can stop pretending any one other than Johnny MacDonald is the number 1 short stop and the three pitchers hired to hold together the rotation didn't last till July.

Instead, the Jays rotation is relying these days on a youthful trifecta of Dustin "Mutton Chops" McGowan, Shaun "Maple Syrup" Marcum, and Jesse "You Can Stop Bringing Up The Batboy Thing Now" Litsch. Why did this take so long to happen?

Why are people in sports always so willing to fall back on guaranteed mediocrity when they have potential gold sitting right in front of them?

Whatever, even with a decent rotation, it's too late for the Jays. How bout next year eh?

Also, happy trails to Jason Phillips, the Jays' on again off again third string catcher for the past few seasons. They let him go so that they could bring up their own prospect Curtis "Playpen" Thigpen and I mean it's not that big a loss for the Jays' batting order but I'm still gonna miss the guy. What can I say? I have a thing for athletes who wear glasses.

Jason

At Least We Got Somebody?

2007-07-05T00:42:00.000-04:00

The Maple Leafs were late to the free agent dance again, and while they didn't end up waltzing away with a complete minger, they didn't quite end up with the homecoming queens. Fergie picked up Jason Blake for a lot of money and a long time, and while it's not entirely a bad move - adding a 40 goal scorer is never bad per se - but still, the dude is 33 dudes, and he's only now starting to be a premier goal scorer? I mean, you have to be suspicious of a guy who puts up career numbers in a contract year, especially this late in the game.

On the other hand, I'm also pretty glad that the Leafs didn't break the bank to sign Danny Briere or Chris Drury or Scott Gomez. Anything past 5 years on a contract and you have to wonder how far ahead the people responsible are really thinking.

Philadelphia and the Rangers are now my two least favourite teams in the East, incidentally. Phillie's looting of Nashville to pick up Hartnell and Timonen left a really sour taste in my mouth, and now they have Briere for forever, Smith from Edmonton plus Biron in net and it's almost like last season never even happened. I seriously hope they pull a Boston. And over in New York, they've actually built a team in which Jaromir Jagr is only the third highest paid player, which is such an impossible sentence that it can only come out of Broadway.

And now with the cap hitting fifty million, it looks like it's back to business as usual for the NHL, with the divide between small and large market teams becoming visible once again. Poor Buffalo which lost its two best players, plus Zubrus if that counts for anything; the Islanders who will have no chance of repeating their unlikely run to the playoffs now that half their players have been bought out from under them; and saddest of all Nashville, who saw a championship calibre team cannabalized right before their very eyes in a matter of weeks. I don't think there is anything sadder in pro sports than a great team being dismantled for financial reasons.

Paul Kariya, keeping with the free agent theme, must know something we don't, because he has signed away the last years of his prime to St. Louis, which is not a team that looks like it will be a contender any time soon. You'd think for a guy who still needs a Stanley Cup that he would have chosen any number of contenders that were willing to pay him money, and yet he lumps on with a team that's still rebuilding. Sticking with St. Louis, they did it again. They resigned a player they traded at the deadline last year, this time Keith Tkachuk, previously Doug Weight. This is a way uncool practice that should be stopped.

Back to the Leafs, Fergie is going with essentially the same team as last year, but with Raycroft splitting time with Vesa Toskala, and Jason Blake on Sundin's wing. Steen, Wellwood and Coliacovo are all a year older, and hopefully that much better, Antropov will stay healthy and chip in at least 20 (I'm not even kidding dudes), Ponikarovsky has 30 in him, I know it and Mats Sundin will score a reliable thirty goals, seventy points. With the stars aligned, this team can make the playoffs, can win a round or two as well.

It's not a Stanley Cup team though.

Jason

Fergie Does It Again

2007-06-23T01:57:00.000-04:00

Vesa Toskala and Mark Bell are Maple Leafs. Cherepanov or Esposito could have been.

This would seem to be the trade that determines whether Fergie is gainfully employed in Toronto come next draft.

Hockey Scribbles

2007-06-15T02:04:00.000-04:00

- Mats Sundin is back for another year. All is right with the world.

- Next year one of Danny Briere, Chris Drury, Scott Gomez, Ryan Smyth or Scott Hartnell will be a Leaf, fer sure.

- Micheal Landsberg asked Fergie if he would consider signing newly freed agent Alexei Yashin. Worryingly, the Leafs' GM did not immediately say "No way in hell".

- Sidney Crosby is only a year older than me. This will never ever cease to amaze me.

- Nashville won't have the Preds much longer. Hamilton might very soon. This worries me, not only because the Leafs would have to play this very talented team at least eight times a year, and really having to play against the Sens that much is bad enough already, but seriously, Hamilton? Canada's half-hearted answer to Pittsburgh? Moving them to wilds of Kitchener is even worse, mainly because the Kitcheloo Blackberries is a name too ridiculous to talk about. Move them to the 905, I could live with that. Call them the Toronto Toros or whatever and give the rich refugees in Toronto's sprawl something to cheer for. Toronto needs another team, is what I'm saying. Sympathies to Nashville fans, who have a legitimately good team on their hands but none of the ties that kept the Penguins grounded in Pittsburgh.

- Mike Keenan is a coach again. What? Insert joke about NHL coaching jobs being like a game of musical chairs but when the music stops, nobody takes away a chair. Or even better, insert joke comparing Keenan to promiscuous girl at college frat party. Everybody gets a turn. More confusing is that it's Calagry that has dipped into the communal coach pool, a team that is good enough that they shouldn't have to make such desperate looking moves.

- Keenan's mustache is also kinda creepy, in a pedophile kinda way.

- Back to the Leafs. Here's the problem. I want the Leafs to make the playoffs because that is something they haven't done in too long now, but on the other hand, the only way Fergie will ever get fired is if the Leafs tank the season. So... make the playoffs and curse ourselves to another five years of ineffective weak-kneed GMing, or take a deep breath and hope for the worst on the ice in order to ensure the best in the boardroom.

Lates peeps,

Jason

Oh Yeah, That Stanley Cup

2007-06-10T23:41:00.000-04:00

Call it the Stanley Cup Final that Toronto forgot. Ottawa versus Anaheim will do that.

I'm a little late here, so you know how the story ended, and nobody should be surprised, except for Ottawa fans who were probably already planning ahead to next year when they would finally have a definitive piece of evidence to prove their superiority over the Maple Leafs - it's hard to argue with a Stanley Cup.

I think we should all agree that the better team won here. Anaheim deserved it, and now we really do know that Brian Burke is a hockey God.

Also, don't rag on Ray Emery too much, if anything he proved that he is capable of taking a team to the Stanley Cup finals. Ottawa needs to resign him.

And finally, I have a feeling that Ottawa won't be in the finals again any time soon. They had their shot, the last decade was practically building up to it in fact, and then they blew it and is this team good enough to repeat? And will the upper management be able to resist blowing up this team?

Free agency is less than a month away,

Jason

Endnote - I can't seem to reliably spell Anaheim. Thank goodness for the Google spellchecker

I Love You Dreger

2007-06-10T22:57:00.000-04:00

Best free agent signing of last year? Darren Dreger going from Sportsnet to TSN, easily. The 'Net wasted him as a babysitter for Kypreos and Big Bill Watters, but TSN realized his true potential and gave him a megaphone to voice his previously hidden thoughts. Wouldn't you know it, the man knows what he's talking about.

Anyways, that all leads to this. According to the Insider, there is actually a team out there crazy enough to take Bryan McCabe's contract. Crazy hockey team? We're talking about the Islanders, natch, who all of a sudden find themselves with a hella lot more cap space now that Alexei Yashin can call himself a free agent. McCabe was el capitan on Long Island once upon a time, and word is, he might be willing to waive his ironclad no-movement clause to return there (in twenty years, John Ferguson Junior won't just be remembered as the warm body who filled the Leafs' GM spot after Pat Quinn and before the man who finally ended the cup draught, no Fergie will also be remembered as the man who gave hockey the no-movement clause. Let's all say thanks for that guys).

If there is a team silly enough to want McCabe at the almost 6 mil per the Leafs are paying him, it's going to be the Islanders. Buying out Yasher with four years left on his contract might be the sign of a team finally getting its act together, or it might be be a sign of business as usual.

No offense McCabe, but you might not have noticed that there are a ton of young ankle biting blueliners in Leaf jerseys just waiting for a chance to prove themselves, and as long as long as you continue to clog up a roster spot with your sustained mediocrity, it is just that much harder for them.

Go home Bryan.

Jason

Oh wait, while we're on the topic of Fergie and the Islanders, let's mention Sean Hill. It's Fergie's contention that because the NHL let Hill play even though they knew he was juicier than a Florida orange that my Buds missed the playoffs. Don't scapegoat Hill here. If he had maybe scored the game winning goal in their last regular season meeting, well maybe there would be an argument. But as it stands, Hill is a journeyman defenseman who does not tip the balance in anyone's favour. I just wanted to make that clear.

These Sens Are Scary

2007-05-16T22:58:00.000-04:00

It was the crazy Leafs fan in me that made me choose Buffalo over Ottawa, not the rational level headed hockey connoisseur I normally am, I swear. Ottawa is obviously the best team left in the playoffs. Obviously. They didn't so much as blink while dusting off New Jersey and Pittsburgh, and it's not like those teams are bunch of stiffs either.

Ottawa is the complete deal right now, and I just hope you, as the reader, can understand how hard it is for me to type those words. In picking Buffalo, it was more because I wanted them to win, than because they deserved to win.

Ottawa has done something special this year. I don't know what it is exactly, but I've always gotten the sense that past Ottawa teams tried to hard. They compiled great regular season numbers, and then when they got to the playoffs, folded quietly. This year, they're regular season was anything but smooth, and I don't know, I guess it made them more... human? That sounds stupid, but what I mean is it's a lot easier to sympathise with them this year than in any other year previous.

Buffalo won last night, which isn't that surprising, I mean, they didn't get to where they are without being a decent team, but Ottawa will take control, like they did in their two previous rounds, and clamp down on the Slugs.

This really hurts to say, but I think Ottawa will win the cup. Even worse, I think I want them to.

Jason

Third Time Lucky

2007-05-14T00:11:00.000-04:00

I might as well make my predictions known before its too late, and before I look like to much of a moron for choosing Buffalo. So I have Buffalo over Ottawa, in seven games now I guess, and Anaheim over Detroit, for the record.

Keep your sticks on the ice,

Jason

You Can't Make This Stuff Up

2007-05-13T23:48:00.000-04:00

When JP Ricciardi fessed up to lying about the extent of closer B.J Ryan's injury, and that the little elbow tweak would actually require Tommy John surgery, it was kind of hard to imagine that the Jay's season could somehow get worse. The season long loss of B.J was really supposed to be the cap on what had been a disastrous few weeks for the Jays.

Then Roy Halladay went down with appendicitis.

At this point, with the season already gone, all you can really do is laugh. Appendicitis! You can't make this stuff up. If this was a movie, this is the part where you'd say, "Ok, they're really stretching it here." But no, Halladay's appendix really did swell up, and the Jay's have already placed 11 players on the disabled list this season, which matches the total number for all of last year.

Also, any time Ted Rogers feels like firing Ricciardi won't be soon enough for me. I have finally decided that he is a smarmy, self-absorbed blowhole. "It's not a lie if we know the truth"? Don't spit on my deck and call it varnish.

For those scoring at home, that's two Toronto GM's now that need to be axed to one that deserves to be sainted.

Jason

Bad News, In Bunches

2007-05-08T00:14:00.000-04:00

So to recap, the Raptors are out of the playoffs, Sam Mitchell might not coach next year, Fergie Jr is still GM in Leafland, the Jays can't even win a game when Doc Halladay starts, Roger Clemens is back in the AL East, Toronto's new soccer team have yet to score a goal after an embarrassing number of games, and Barry Bonds will break the home run record sometime soon.

On the other hand, well the weather is nice.

So Four French-Canadian Referees Walk into a Bar...

2007-05-02T18:49:00.000-04:00

There's a crisis in the nation's capital these days, and at the centre of it is Shane Doan.

No, Parliament has not launched a Royal Commission to investigate how an only slightly above average hockey player who consistently puts up less than spectacular numbers is both Phoenix's franchise player, and current captain of Team Canada, but rather, certain politicians have taken issue with a two year old incident in which Doaner was alleged to have aimed an anti-French remark at a French ref, in Montreal no less. Politicians from Quebec, actually. They seem to have a problem with Doan's captaincy, despite that the allegations were never proven, the NHL did not punish him, and to quote Jeremy Roenick, Doan is "the kind of guy who says 'fudge'."

This is a non-issue. Doan's not the kind of guy who would say something like that, and frankly, I think most people had forgotten about the incident, except of course Quebec, where their freaking motto is "Je me souviens".

If you want to get angry about something Parliament, get angry about the fact that the best we could do for a captain was Shane Doan. Now that's a cause I could get behind.

"Mr. Speaker, how can we justify, in this day and age, making a player like Shane Doan, with his history, captain of Team Canada? The international community is watching, Mr Speaker. Do you know how many points he scored last season? It's embarrassing."

Jason

Verdict For April: Meh

2007-05-01T11:26:00.000-04:00

The Jays have played one month of ball, and have yet to clearly define themselves. Their record is a hair over .500, and they've proven that they can play with Boston and New York, however, they've also proven that they can just as easily be swept by Baltimore.

Injuries are a problem sure, as losing closer B.J Ryan has meant that every late inning lead is in danger, but for the most part, the substitutes have filled in nicely. Adam Lind could likely stay in left field all season now, regardless of whether Reed Johnson ever comes back; John Macdonald, a guy we've always had a soft spot for and now displaced by the return of Troy Glaus was hitting .500 for a little while there; and Jason Phillips, the back-up catcher with the glasses (I don't know, I can't help but like an athlete who wears specs) filling in for Greg Zaun's broken hand knows when to lay down a clutch hit.

So the replacements have been probably no worse than the regulars would have been, which makes us wonder if we should take 13-12 April as indicative of what we can expect of the long haul. there have been some standouts, though. Roy Halladay has been money in the bank, sits 4-0 and leads the league in innings pitched, Vernon Wells is his usual sublime self, and Aaron Hill is having his breakout season.

This team, as always, comes down to pitching. Josh Towers didn't last the month, and Victor Zambrano will get his next start. Gustavo Chacin is suddenly injured, and Dustin McGowan gets that start. Tomo Ohka threw his best game of the season against Texas the other day, and seems to be improving with every game. These are the pitchers Toronto needs to worry about, at least until Halladay can figure out a way to pitch on a days rest. Wouldn't that be something?

Jason

Round Two, Coming At You

2007-04-25T22:05:00.000-04:00

Ok, second round of the Stanley Cup playoffs. Let's make this brief: I went an ok 6 for 8 in the first, due to an overabundance of optimism for Pittsburgh and Nashville, but those are understandable mistakes. I mean, it's not like I made any stupid picks like the Islanders over Buffalo or something.

Moving on, I'mma take Buffalo over the Rangers (they'll get their act together), Ottawa over New Jersey (begrudgingly), San Jose over Detroit (they manhandled Nashville, and Detroit had some problems with l'il ol' Calgary) and Anaheim over Vancouver (because, duh?) for round two.

Gotta run,

Jason

Oh Yes, Their Will Be Boos.

2007-04-20T00:23:00.000-04:00

It's a beautiful piece symmetry, the Raptors first playoff appearance in forever is. The basketball gods have given Toronto a final chance to once and for all expunge Vince Carter from its sports concsiousness, in the form of a first round match up against VC's New Jersey Nets. Chris Bosh and the one-for-all Raptors get to play the last man to call the Raptors his franchise, get to finally show that Vince Carter was the problem with Toronto, and not the other way around.

Sure, maybe a date with the collapsing Washington Wizards might have be easier, but a play-off with New Jersey is custom ordered drama.The first round doesn't really matter, but here are two teams who will go at it like it was a championship series. They spilt their season series 2-2, both teams winning their home games, which gives the higher seeded Raps maybe an advantage in that category.

Game one is Saturday at the ACC. Oh yes, their will be boos.

Jason