This Thing I Have Become

It's starting to gnaw at me that I've essentially given up on this hockey team of mine with so much left to play. I am in the most awful position. I'm starting to cheer every Leaf loss because with each mounting loss it just vindicates me even more, look, I can say, I was right this team is just balls to the walls bad. I can't enjoy it when they do win because that only lets John Ferguson Junior shift some of that piling pressure off for another day. Each win is a victory for Fergie, the Leafs management and everything stifling and incompetent about them while every loss is another welcome nail in the coffin and frankly, there are so many nails in there you could probably lift it with a large enough magnet.

So thanks Leafs, you've turned this season into a perverse game for me. I can't tell you how conflicted I was when the Leafs put up that unfortunately timed 5-1-1 stretch because it literally saved Ferguson's job but it also signaled that maybe the Leafs weren't stale leftovers at a time when it still mattered. I mean I don't like Toronto losing but I certainly don't need anyone repudiating Fergie right now. So really yeah, I do want Toronto to lose; I want Toronto to lose often and ugly and the more the better.

The worst part, or maybe the best part is that there are ways out of this. Look at Philadelphia. They were bad last year; they were rank awful, just plain bad and now this year, after management change and a dizzying year of deft moves they are back. Or what about St. Louis. A couple years ago they were bad, real bad but they cleaned management and put some guys in place who had a Plan and the today the Blues are as good as anybody in the league. The point is things aren't hopeless. This season is still a wash I think, but it shouldn't go to waste. A top five pick plus what we can sell at deadline and Toronto could be on the right track like snap crackle boom. Remember what St. Louis got for Keith Tkachuk last year? Atlanta practically gave away the farm. Imagine what Mats Sundin could bring.

Or we could have Fergie, lame duck Fergie come out at deadline time and looking at the standings that, at least nominally, show Toronto within a few points of the playoffs, he could give up another first round pick because if it works and the Leafs make the playoffs his job is safe for another year and if it doesn't work, well it's not like he'll be at the draft table in June anyway. Fergie is dangerous is what I'm trying to say. He's cornered and battered from all sides including his boss Mr. Peddie (who should be swept out too, or at least, swept away from hockey) and he has to know that the only way he has a job in Toronto next year (I don't know why he would still want the job but anyway) is if the Leafs make a playoff appearance and at least make it close. I sincerely and deeply and honestly do not want the Leafs making the playoffs under Fergie.

Look what you've made me Mr. Ferguson.

Jason