Head for the hills, the Canadians are coming

Pity any poor fan of English soccer stuck cheering for Leeds United, they don't even know what's about to hit them. People are reporting from both sides of the pond that Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment, the sports holding company last seen putting forty years between championship hockey teams, is now extending its gaze outward. Having conquered just about every sporting mountain there is to climb here in Toronto (money making hockey team, competitive basketball team, a Major League Soccer team with actual fans, and the groundwork for a future NFL team) this city must seem all of a sudden rather provincial. How better to extend the MLSE brand than to gain entrance to that playground of Russian oligarchs, oil rich Arabs and bored Americans, the English Premiership?

Of course MLSE has some work to do to make it that far. Leeds United, the unfortunate soccer team that has become choice number one for MLSE's great European soccer experiment, is not currently playing in England's top league; regulation has seen them tumble down two rungs to the third division, League One. But bad teams are nothing new to MLSE, it's the turn around that seems to give them difficulty.

Will Leeds fans take heart at this news? Going on nothing but a Wikipedia page MLSE certainly looks solid enough. Who wouldn't want their team owned by an organization with dollars and clout?

I don't want to be the petty, older child, jealous at his new sibling, but I don't like this at all. Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment has a hard enough time with the Maple Leaf aspect of their business, their crown jewel, the one aspect that any one ever expects anything from, and now it's time to invest in English football? The Premiership is serious business, and Leeds fans have an expectation that that is where their club belongs. They deserve an owner with a commitment to winning, who has a stake in the team, who understands the sport and what it takes to win.

Come to think about it, so do the Maple Leafs.

Bosox? Try Nosox

The Jays took a tight one against the Red Sox today, winning off an eighth inning pinch hit RBI from Shea "Anywhere but Anaheim" Hillenbrand. Final score: 7-6. That the Jays led at one point 6-0, is purely inconsequential.

Roy "I'll Have My Cy Young to Go, Please" Halladay was cheated out of the win by a less than stellar Jays bullpen, but the important thing is that the Jays won against the division leading Bosox.

We came across this nice little stat: the Jays are 6-3 against Boston so far this season. That's the kind of stuff the Jays need if they're going to challenge for anything this season.

In other news, after what probably only seemed like the longest homerless streak ever, Barry "Don't Even Say It" Bonds reeled off number 715 in front of the only people who still seem to cheer for him these days, the San Fran crowd.

Well congrats, we suppose. We have to ask though, was second place on the all time home run list really worth selling your soul? We hope so, because seriously, second's as far as he's ever going to get on that list.

In other, other news, Ricky Williams is now officially a Toronto Argonaut, which has sparked a serious case of sour grapes. If you're to lazy to follow the link (I know I would be) I'll give you a brief synopsis:

Montreal Alouettes GM: Blah blah blah not fair blah blah

You just know the other teams are just kicking themselves for not thinking of signing Williams first, and this is their way of taking out there anger.

Tough cookies.

And finally, in the so sad it's almost funny department, Ronaldo "To Good For a Last Name" has stated that he would someday like to play in the US.

Cringe.

Yeah, Pele did it too, but that doesn't make it cool.

The MLS is for average American players and washed up Europeans. Where would Ronaldo fit into that equation?

If you didn't follow the link (this is becoming a bad habit!) here's the bare bones:

"Right now I have a contract with Real Madrid and I'm only thinking about the World Cup, but without a doubt, the American market is one of my goals for the future," his exact words were.

We're going to go out on a limb here and say that when he says future, he means when no one in Europe will pay him any more.

Speaking of washed up Brazilians, the once and future Brazilian star Romario has been sighted playing for some minor-minor league soccer team in Miami. He played recently in Toronto, scoring the only goal in a one-nothing victory over the hometown Toronto Lynx.

We only note this because the former superstar is on a quest that makes Barry Bonds' ill-fated home run chase look like a cakewalk.

You see, Romario is on a quest to become only the second footballer to score 1000 goals (a shiny penny to whoever can name the first to do so - hint: it rhymes with "melee").

He says that he is currently around 960, though, give or take 20 or 30. Give mostly.

Nobody is quite sure how Romario arrived at that number, his career has spanned three continents and a slew of different teams, not least of which is the Brazilian national team. It's also not clear what Mr. Mario considers a goal. Are goals scored in practice fair game? Or only when nobody's looking?

Romario is at the ripe old age of 40 (73 in soccer years) and he definitely isn't getting any younger. He has desperate written all over him. His hair is speckled with gray, and on the field the word, "run" is as foreign to him as the lady who cleans my house (No, I kid, Maria has her citizenship. Or, that's what she told me...).

So a double plea to both Romario and Bonds: Please, please, please retire. Please, you're embarrassing yourself and all the fans who once cheered for you. Please call it quits.

Please?

Jason.

Slow News Day Means Desperate Times

So the Toronto sports scene has more or less dried up with both the Leafs and Raptors currently enjoying the spring weather on the links, and the Jays in New York, learning why they're called the Bronx Bombers (17-6? What the hell is that?).

And so it is, that we here at 63 Years and Counting, for the first time in our admittedly short history, turn our attention to that beautiful game, futbol. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

No, no, I kid. I've always been a soccer fan. But being a soccer fan in North America is not always an easy task, especially when one is separated by one ocean and five time zones from the premier soccer leagues of the world.

The Premier League, Serie A, the Bundesliga, the Spanish Primiera; all great leagues we're sure, but totally unfeasible to follow. The games are all found on Saturday and Sunday mornings, and while we'd like to pretend that we give a damn about Crystal Palace against Bolton United, the fact is, we don't. We don't know a single player on either team, and we don't see that changing anytime soon. (We do note however, that Chelsea have won the Premiership title for the second straight year, and that manager Jose Mourinho is in the front running for the "Biggest Sore Winner Ever" award, after this)

Thankfully for all us North American soccer junkies, there's the Champion's League, which pulls all of Europe's best teams into one conveniant tournament. It's down to the finals now, with 63 Years' favourite team, Barcelona (formerly AC Milan, until we realised that they were owned by Silvio Berlusconi) against the English side Arsenal.

We don't mean to expose our bias or anything, but we predict a 8-0 win for Barca, with a double hat trick for Ronaldhino.

Though, we are thankful for Arsenal, if only for having elimanted Villareal, who's nuclear yellow jersey ranks only slightly higher than Juventus' pink atrocities on our list of all time least favourite jerseys.

And of course the World Cup begins in June, cleverly scheduled to distract us from as many exams as possible. The field is so deep (Brazil), and there are so many teams capable of winning (Brazil), that we hesitate to predict a winner (Brazil). Germany has a lot riding on it this year, but 63 Years doesn't see it panning out for the home side this time around.

And with the old mother country (Greece) sitting this one out, despite being European Champions (the first one who says "fluke" gets a bottle of ouzo smashed over their head), we are at a loss at who to cheer for. The Netherlands have are a strong candidate, as are the Czechs. We will see though, we will see.

Oleing It Up,

Jason