Monday, May 29, 2006

Bosox? Try Nosox

The Jays took a tight one against the Red Sox today, winning off an eighth inning pinch hit RBI from Shea "Anywhere but Anaheim" Hillenbrand. Final score: 7-6. That the Jays led at one point 6-0, is purely inconsequential.

Roy "I'll Have My Cy Young to Go, Please" Halladay was cheated out of the win by a less than stellar Jays bullpen, but the important thing is that the Jays won against the division leading Bosox.

We came across this nice little stat: the Jays are 6-3 against Boston so far this season. That's the kind of stuff the Jays need if they're going to challenge for anything this season.

In other news, after what probably only seemed like the longest homerless streak ever, Barry "Don't Even Say It" Bonds reeled off number 715 in front of the only people who still seem to cheer for him these days, the San Fran crowd.

Well congrats, we suppose. We have to ask though, was second place on the all time home run list really worth selling your soul? We hope so, because seriously, second's as far as he's ever going to get on that list.

In other, other news, Ricky Williams is now officially a Toronto Argonaut, which has sparked a serious case of
sour grapes. If you're to lazy to follow the link (I know I would be) I'll give you a brief synopsis:

Montreal Alouettes GM: Blah blah blah not fair blah blah

You just know the other teams are just kicking themselves for not thinking of signing Williams first, and this is their way of taking out there anger.

Tough cookies.

And finally, in the so sad it's almost funny department, Ronaldo "To Good For a Last Name" has stated that he would someday like to
play in the US.


Yeah, Pele did it too, but that doesn't make it cool.

The MLS is for average American players and washed up Europeans. Where would Ronaldo fit into that equation?

If you didn't follow the link (this is becoming a bad habit!) here's the bare bones:

"Right now I have a contract with Real Madrid and I'm only thinking about the World Cup, but without a doubt, the American market is one of my goals for the future," his exact words were.

We're going to go out on a limb here and say that when he says future, he means when no one in Europe will pay him any more.

Speaking of washed up Brazilians, the once and future Brazilian star Romario has been sighted playing for some minor-minor league soccer team in Miami. He played recently in Toronto, scoring the only goal in a one-nothing victory over the hometown Toronto Lynx.

We only note this because the former superstar is on a quest that makes Barry Bonds' ill-fated home run chase look like a cakewalk.

You see, Romario is on a quest to become only the second footballer to score 1000 goals (a shiny penny to whoever can name the first to do so - hint: it rhymes with "melee").

He says that he is currently around 960, though, give or take 20 or 30. Give mostly.

Nobody is quite sure how Romario arrived at that number, his career has spanned three continents and a slew of different teams, not least of which is the Brazilian national team. It's also not clear what Mr. Mario considers a goal. Are goals scored in practice fair game? Or only when nobody's looking?

Romario is at the ripe old age of 40 (73 in soccer years) and he definitely isn't getting any younger. He has desperate written all over him. His hair is speckled with gray, and on the field the word, "run" is as foreign to him as the lady who cleans my house (No, I kid, Maria has her citizenship. Or, that's what she told me...).

So a double plea to both Romario and Bonds: Please, please, please retire. Please, you're embarrassing yourself and all the fans who once cheered for you. Please call it quits.



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