Easy Dirty Ugly Dirty Money

I am always always happy when people start talking about a theoretical second Toronto team. As I see it, it makes sense, it makes a lot of sense and the only people in the NHL who disagree with that are the guys in charge of doling out the franchises. The NHL has its own plans for relocation but they don't involve Canada. It's an open secret that the Hockey Establishment wants a team in Kansas City, for all their secret and probably nefarious reasons. If anything has given me joy over the last few months (and it hasn't been the Leafs) it's been watching the NHL stumble around, caught with its pants down over its involvement with William "Boots" del Baggio and the sale of the Nashville Predators.

Have you been following this? I hope so because it is a good story. I hope so because this gets dirty. I hope so because this is the kind of stuff people lose important high up hockey jobs over. Maybe this story is familiar to you. You remember Jim Balsillie and his attempted takeover of said Predators and you remember Gary Bettman's ham fisted refusal of all that good Canadian money. He didn't want Balsillie's money because Ballsy was going to uproot the team and take it to Hamilton, Ontario and Hamilton, Ontario is not a city where any self respecting hockey franchise would find itself out past dark.

So the NHL turns down Balsillie and his guaranteed millions and instead turn to Boots del Baggio because Boots is buddy buddy with the hockeystocracy and Boots understands that the correct place to put an uprooted hockey franchise is not in Canada, where they probably already have enough hockey anyway, but in Kansas City where it is well known that local hockey fans have been in steep withdrawal-like symptoms since 1976, the year the Kansas City Scouts up rooted and headed for the snowier slopes of Colorado. (The Kansas City Scouts would be a pretty good name for a team if it was supposed to be parsed "the Kansas City Scouts," you know?). A hockey team in the KC is in line with NHL thinking and though Boots can't scrounge up quite as much buillion as certain Canadian billionaires, he gets the coveted Nashville stake.

This seems so obvious in retrospect, I'm sure the NHL is now realizing, but selling shares of their business to a man nicknamed "Boots" was a Bad idea (what are boots made for?). There is a new sports arena in Kansas City, built specially to attract any misplaced major league sports teams that might wander by and you maybe already know who owns that new arena. It's owned by Phil Anchutz, who also owns the LA Kings and probably a bazillion other things. So Anschutz owns an empty stadium in Kansas City. This story is great and it keeps getting better. This is the kind of Woodward and Bernstein stuff makes me want to enroll into j-school right now.

You will or will not be surprised to learn that a man named "Boots" did not actually have enough money to buy his own hockey franchise. And by "enough", I should say "any". But gosh darn it this is America pre-credit crisis and there is always someone willing to give an enterprising entrepreneur with a questionable nickname a line of credit. In this case it was our friend Anschutz who stepped up to the plate, along with buddy Craig Leipold, owner of the Minnesota Wild, both of whom have probably played more than a few rounds of golf with Gary Bettman, if you catch my drift. Now we have two NHL owners lending money to a third soon-to-be-owner. And that third owner is one or two bad season in Nashville away from flipping the team into another city, into a building owned by his creditors.

Business as usual until Boots del Baggio's con man act runs dry and he files for bankruptcy and we find out's he's in the hole for almost $60 million dollars. This wouldn't be so bad if Bettman's NHL didn't already have a track record of selling franchises to insolvent fraudsters and if the other guy offering to buy the Predators hadn't been so obviously a better choice.

This is all of course, I hasten to mention, all pure SPECULATION and should be treated as such as it's all before the courts as we speak. Boots is up on fraud charges plus a messy bankruptcy. If you want to read more, keep your eye on your local drugstore's literature section under legal thrillers, if you know what I mean.

It's also interesting to note that because Boots' creditors include two NHL owners in Anschutz and Leipold, those two may now theoretically own part of the Nashville Predators, which would obviously go against NHL bylaws. One more thing to think about.

I hope this gets ugly. This might have heavy fallout on Gary Bettman. This might cost Bettman his job. This might be the best worst mistake the NHL ever made.

Commence the Invasion

I'm am skeptical of anybody who feels the need to specify the game as ice hockey, which limits my skepticism to only, oh let's say, everybody in Britain.

Regardless of what I think (a common trend among Gary Bettman's decisions), the NHL put two regular season games in sunny London, England (I'm sure London, Ontario would have appreciated them just as much).

The NHL deserves props for making them regular season games; games for points and glory and everything. Any two bit major sports league could schedule a pre-season game across the ocean, but those invariably turn out to be bland affairs that lack any real star power. This way, Europe gets to see what real hockey is like, not that Brits really have anything to compare it to.

I watched the Saturday opener between Anaheim and LA. The crowd at the O2 Stadium (owned by the same suit who owns the Kings, of course) was the real highlight. It was a regular United Nations of sweaters circling the ice. Name a hockey team, and 5 quid says they were represented by a fan. My favourite was the pair of green St. Pats one couple was rocking.

The game itself was ok. Anaheim doesn't look ready. Not having Niedermayer and Selanne will really hurt them. Their absence plus the jet lag sucker punch is going to translate into slow going early on. Bertuzzi looked eager though. This might be his comeback year.

The Kings could surprise some people this season. They ripped the Ducks apart on the powerplay, and they might finally, just maybe, cross your fingers, have found a goalie they can ride in nineteen year old Jonathan Bernier. That would be a major victory for LA, which hasn't had anything legit in between the pipes for as far back as I care to remember.

The final score was 4-1 LA, though Anaheim evened up the series with their own 4-1 victory the next day.

The league is for sure interested in more European jaunts after seeing the arena at capacity and they sure as hell can't let the NBA - the league that went from All-American to Cosmopolitan seemingly overnight and has half their teams doing European training camps as I type - conquer the old world. Word is Prague, a city that actually plays the game, might get the season opener next year. Who knows, fifteen year from now, the only place with any guarantee of not hosting a debut will be cities in North America.

Jason

This Just In: Lists Are In Vogue

Things about the NHL that make us smile:

Goalie fights - We need more of these. You've probably seen, or at least heard about the fight between Ray Emery and Marty Biron last night in Buffalo. Perhaps it's the sheer absurdity of having the the two paddedest players on the ice wailing on each other, or perhaps it's the rarity with which they occur (the last one in the NHL involved a guy named Felix Potvin, if that helps). While last night's probably made Patrick Roy laugh a big hearty laugh (c'mon Biron, at least pretend to try!), it's really the thought that counts.

Ray Emery - Keeping on the Emery theme, that guy is now our favourite goaltender in the NHL. Taking down Biron and then squaring off with Buffalo heavy Andrew Peters all the while wearing a huge grin on his face has cemented our belief that Ottawa has a winner in net. Too bad it took them so long to figure it out.

Three Point Games - Some people don't seem to like that overtime losers still get to take a point home with them, despite not actually winning. Screws up the standings don't you know. No, no, and no. Three point games are why the Eastern Conference is going to go right down to the final day in deciding who makes the playoffs and who doesn't. It's all about the drama here folks. The same can't be said in the West, where the top eight won't change between now and April (Edmonton, even your GM would agree with us), but hey, it's official company policy here at 64 Years and Counting care that we don't care about anything west of Toronto.

Simple Salary Caps - Some have suggested that in the new NHL, deadline trades are next to impossible due to salary cap constraints. All the good teams are brushing against the thing already. If only, if only teams could trade away cap space to other teams! Imagine the possibilities! Yeah, but here's what would actually happen. The NHL's salary cap would look something like the NBA's, by which we mean it would be five kinds of confusing and nobody but the sportswriters would really have any idea what the hell was happening. Seriously, the first person who can explain the NBA's cap system deserves a Nobel prize in economics. Hockey's version is clean and easy. Don't spend more than the cap, dumbass.

Blockbuster Trades - Tell us you don't love it when big names get swapped. C'mon, do it, and then revoke your sports fan identification please. The NHL's trade deadline, a mini-holiday here in Canada (American fans, you can probably only guess at the silliness engendered by all day tradecentre coverage), is a beautiful thing. Peter Forsberg is gone already, but what about Tkachuk, Guerin, Tucker, Smyth, Biron et al? The suspense is killing us.

Goalie Fights - Ok, we said that already, but really, can you name a better part of hockey? Four-on-four overtime? Good, but not great. Shootouts? Not as cool as we had hoped. Toronto beating Ottawa? Well, getting closer, but still not quite as special. Goalies of the NHL, please, beat each other up more often. It's what we all secretly want.

Jason

(Props to us for not mentioning Kerry Frasers' fuckup last night in the Leafs-Isles game. We could mention how it was his bollocks of an incidental goalie interference call that called back what would have been the Leafs third goal, but we are too classy for that. We are also too classy to also mention that that because of that call, New York was able to tie the game, and take advantage of the Leafs godawful shootout record. Even furthermore, we have too much respect for the NHL and its officials to complain that incidental goalie interference is as stupid a rule as you can find. If he interfered with the goalie, give him the freaking penalty. If anything, it was DiPietro who interfered with Ponikarovsky anyway. And did you even see Sundin's non-goal? The puck was almost literally level with the redline when he shot it. He deserved the the goal just for sheer ballsyness. Right, but we're not going to mention any of that, because that is crass and poor sportsmanship.)

All-Star Notebook

Thoughts from the NHL's All-Star Game:

- The new jerseys (the only reason we bothered to tune in, actually) are very, slick. Odd to look at after a lifetime of baggy, unflattering ponchos, but that will gladly fade with time. Sartorially speaking, the NHL got it right. Hockey players are some of the fittest athletes you are going to find, and it's about time they started showing it off.

There were a lot of dire predictions in the run-up to the unveiling, talks of 30 teams in 30 cookie cutter matching designs; of no more horizontal lines; of significant logo changes to fit the new parameters (notably, our Maple Leafs). That's all bollocks. Though some teams will be doing the logo shuffle (like the Columbus Blue Jackets, who will drop their expansion duds for their super fine, super patriotic third jersey, which is long over due) it won't be because the new jersey necessitates it.

- While we're at it, there are some people who might not benefit from the jersey shrink. That would be the league's smaller players, like Chicago's Martin Havlat, who looked particularly svelte at Wednesday's proceedings. And by svelte, we mean anorexic.

- Also, fat people.

- Tomas Kaberle was the Maple Leafs' lone representative in Dallas (though Alex Steen made the Young Stars game in light of his recent renaissance), an added after thought there to make sure somebody in Toronto was watching. Kaberle was easily their safest bet, no other Leaf, besides Darcy Tucker and Kyle Wellwood, who are both on indefinite injury leave, have really impressed much. Mats Sundin has been superhuman at times, but is scoreless in his last eight, and isn't doing anything particularly spectacular. Kaberle was a safe choice, if not an exciting one.
- Yannic Perreault was one of the most puzzling All-Star selections we can remember. A heart warming story - he didn't start the season with a contract you see - but is having a shiny faceoff winning percentage really all it takes to make it?

- Rory Fitzpatrick wasn't an All-Star. While we sent a few votes his way, it's probably for the best that he took the four days off: As vacuous as the All Star game is, all the players who make it there do it through their own hard work. Making it on a gimmick would have put Rory in awkward spot in that dressing room.

- For all the hype, Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin didn't do much of anything together. That's ok though, they'll have the next twenty consecutive All Star games to work on that.

- All Star games are really, really, really, really, ridiculously boring. Like, for serious.

Jason

NHL Predictions

Sneaking in right at the deadline, here are our NHL season predictions, with our usual 100% money back guarantee. First, the East.

1)Buffalo Sabres
Buffalo is as solid a team as your going to find. Great goal-tending, great young scorers. They will be tough to beat.

2)New Jersey Devils
When you have a magician like Lou Lamoriello for a GM, good things follow. Somehow managing to sweep away two unsightly contracts that were strangling his team, he now has Brian Gionta and Paul Martin under contract, which means the good times are still on in East Rutherford. As long as Martin Brodeur is in net, this is a team to watch out for.

3)Carolina Hurricanes
Do the defending champs have another cup on them? That's up for debate, but we think they easily have another division title. They lost a few players from last spring, and a couple more are injured, but that shouldn't matter. Eric Staal has MVP numbers in him, and Cam Ward was no fluke.

4)Ottawa Senators
Tick tock, the clock is ticking on the Senators. A decade of title expectations have resulted in not so much as a Stanley Cup final appearance. Now, we'd be lying if we said we did enjoy that just a little bit, but the truth is that the Senators are still one of the best in the league. We don't see them winning any cups this year, but hopefully sweeping the season series against Toronto will make up for that.

5)Philadelphia Flyers
We're being a little generous here, but we're also working under the assumption of a healthy Peter Forsberg and improved play from Mike Richards and Jeff Carter. Will this be the season people point to as the beginning of Philadelphia's decline?

6)Atlanta Thrashers
There will champagne in the Thrashers dressing room this season as they qualify for their first post season. Losing Marc Savard hurts, but it shouldn't matter if Kari Lehtonen plays the whole season and Ilya Kovalchuk challenges for the Art Ross.

7)New York Rangers
The Rangers are going to keep riding the Jagr express for as long as it takes them, and it says in our book he's not quite done yet. Another superseason from him, plus decent contributions from his supporting staff and the sustained play of Henrik Lundqvist sees them into seventh.

8)Toronto Maples Leafs
Call this the home town discount, but we think the Leafs will make it. They will surprise some people this year. We see good things coming from their experiment in youth, from their gamble on Andrew Raycroft, and especially from new coach Paul Maurice. This is a precarious prediction, even the slightest breeze could knock the Leafs off in favour of the

9)Boston Bruins
So the Bruins dipped into the free agent market to fix their otherwise shoddy team. Stop us if you've heard this one before. Zdeno Chara and Marc Savard are great additions, but there's still something stopping us from putting them in the playoffs. The Bruins always find a way to fail, and we don't think that's going to stop now.

10)Tampa Bay Lightning
Tampa Bay could go either way this season. They could return to Cup winning form with career years for Brad Richards et al, or they could continue the regressing that began last season. Guess which side we're on.

11)Florida Panthers
Does Todd Bertuzzi return to form? Does it matter? We don't think this team has it in them either way. We hope for best for Eddie Belfour, we really do, but we can't help but think that he is setting himself up for disaster.

12)Montreal Canadiens
Montreal didn't really do anything major in the offseason (Signing Sergei Samsonov doesn't count as major. Just ask Edmonton) and they will suffer for it. Don't expect too much from them.

13)Pittsburgh Penguins
Speaking of expectations, how 'bout these guys? Can Sidney Crosby improve on his massive rookie season? Can Marc-Andre Fleury remind us why he was chosen first over all? Can Evgeni Malkin live up to his Best Player Outside of The NHL label? Even if the answer to all three questions is yes, this team is still not ready for the playoffs. But damn if this isn't a good time to start buying 2008/2009 season tickets.

14)Washington Capitals
The critically acclaimed one-man show, "Alexander Ovechkin," will continue to play in the D.C area from October to mid-April. Plenty of tickets still available.

15) New York Islanders
What to say that hasn't already been said? This team is going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better. Make that 'If' it gets better.

West:

1) San Jose Sharks
Time for Joe Thornton and Jonathan Cheechoo to give us a season long encore. Good things will happen.

2) Calgary Flames
One Alex Tanguay a Stanley Cup does not win. A Northwest Division? Sure, why not. Look for Iginla to bring the scoring back, JT style.

3) Nashville Predators
Time for the Preds to shine. Their division is ripe for the taking, and their roster is stocked with talent. Nashville in the Stanley Cup finals? You heard it here first.

4) Anahiem Ducks
Ok, so the new logo is... unfortunate, but these Ducks are not. Brian Burke has shown again why he's the best at what he does. That defensive line up is the stuff of GM wet dreams.

5) Minnesota Wild
Hey, the lockout's over! Minnesota took awhile to realise it, but here they are ready to make a splash. Pavol Demitra and Marian Gaborik say that this team makes the playoffs.

6) Detroit Red Wings
Beginning of the end for the Red Wings? That's what we said last year, and then they went and won the Presidents Trophy. Either way Henrik Zetterberg and Pavel Datsyuk can only do so much.

7) Vancouver Canucks
Roberto Luongo equals playoff spot for Vancouver. After that? Well, Marcus Naslund's season will go a long way to determining that

8) Dallas Stars
The Stars are grasping at straws here. Eric Lindros? Seriously? Marty Turco will ensure respectability, but for how long?

9) Edmonton Oilers
We are on record as saying Dwayne Roloson will blow up in Edmonton's face, but you can't help but love their players up front. Shawn Horcoff, Fernando Pisani, Joffrey Lupul, and the rest give Edmonton a fighting chance.

10) Columbus Blue Jackets
Not this time Columbus, not this time. Is Nikolai Zherdev as good as he thinks he is? Freddy Modin is great, but who's left in net now? Things are looking up though.

11) Phoenix Coyotes
The Wayne Gretzky Experiment is still going strong, but the Coyotes aren't. Their defense is great, Ed Jovanovski, Keith Ballard and the like, but after that? Cujo has seen better days, and as much as we love Jeremy Roenick, why hasn't he moved into the broadcast booth yet?

12) Colorado Avalanche
Final requiem for the Colorado Avalanche, as we see the end of an era. Joe Sakic and Milan Hejduk are all that remain of the glory days. Even if Jose Theodore keeps out of the Montreal tabloids, this team isn't going anywhere.

13) Chicago Blackhawks
Martin Havlat has never scored more than 68 points, or played in more than 75 games. We're not knocking the Hawks' move, we're just saying be patient. Which is something Chicago fans are all to familiar with. Don't worry, there's light at the end of this tunnel.

14) Los Angeles Kings
Does Dan Cloutier have pictures of coach Marc Crawford and an underaged Vietnamese prostitute? That's the only reason we can think of why they've been reunited in LA. This team, not exactly in the fast lane before, is slipping.

15) St. Louis Blues
The '96 US World Cup reunion tour begins in October and will tour the country featuring such former greats as Doung Weight, Bill Guerin, and Keith Tkachuk.

Ok, let's make the one prediction that really matters: Who will win the Stanley Cup? We have New Jersey and Nashville duking it out, with New Jersey coming out on top. But hey, we've been wrong before.

Jason