Rout the Islanders and Call Me in the Morning

Sometimes I wonder why I even follow hockey. Why do I invest so much energy into a passion that has provided so little return? You have your team that you cheer for and if you are lucky it's not run by soulless corporate jerkoffs and if you are really lucky, they even win championship or two. But sometimes you are not lucky and you find yourself stuck cheering for a group of stiffs on skates and it becomes really easy to remember how trivial sports can be, when compared to quiet revolutions in Burma or even just one man's fight against cancer. Sometimes for me it's just a bunch of bulky ballerinas chasing a rubber puck around on skates.

And then sometimes something special happens, and I am reminded why anyone would care about hockey, would care about baseball, would care about football, would care about professional snookers even. Sometimes Mats Sundin takes the all time scoring lead in Maple Leafs history and the ACC erupts into delirious ovation and Mats can just sit there beaming, wiping the hint of tears from the edges of his eyes as he acknowledges the crowd's appreciation as many times as they need it and on times like that, all I can do is sit back and remember why I bother with any of this at all. We're all waiting for those special moments, whether they are as obvious as winning the championship, or the small personal accomplishments that set a benchmark in perseverance and dedication. A shiny headed Saku Koivu stepping on to the ice. Cal Ripken breaking the Iron Man streak. Mats Sundin passing Darryl Sittler. That's why I'm here.

The best part of the night was that Mats received two ovations for the occasion. The first was a false alarm, a ghost assist tacked onto deft goal by Kaberle. Leafs TV, and Mats himself (this guy is Class), were quick to point out that he had not so much touched the puck on the scoring play. Didn't stop the PA from dropping his name, and it certainly didn't stop the crowd from giving Mats his due. The assist was retracted eventually, though Sundin wasn't finished. In the third he sent a cross ice pass that deflected off an Islander defenceman and past Dubielewicz and there was no argument on this one. The officials paused the game, and the cheers rained down as Mats couldn't keep his smile down. We may never see him raise a Stanley Cup, but if he has a bigger smile than the one he had tonight, a Cup win is the only time we'll ever see it.

And how about the game? The Leafs were coming off a 7-1 undressing from the resurgent Hurricanes (who ended Ottawa's win streak tonight, oh yes, oh yes), so of course they responded with eight goals of their own tonight against Long Island, good for an 8-1 win, number two on the season.

Raycroft was solid, though this just creates more questions in net. Raycroft or Toskala? I have a soft spot for Raycroft, and if he's going to pay off like he did tonight, I say ride that pony for all he's worth... It's pretty clear after just one game but Simon "Smache" Gamache should have started the season with the big team. Though the guy looks like he's been called up from the Ozarks, not Ricoh Colosseum... How about Matty Stajan. He had a goal and three assists to give him six points in his first five. I'm going to start calling him the Big Stage... Alex Steen played on the first line and got his first goal for it. I like Steener and Sundin together. It just occurred to me that because this game was broadcast on Leafs TV, a very large number of people who might normally be watching did not, and therefore missed Mats' milestone. This is so wrong. Seeing it on the highlight reel is not the same.

Jason

PS I'm just finding this out now, but Mike Comrie has hooked up with Hilary Duff which is both non sequitur and a decent explanation for his strong start. It also raises the number of famous hockey girlfriends in the NHL to, by my count, two. I expect the LA Kings' youth brigade to get working on this shortage. I mean, if the sight of Anze Kopitar doesn't get you hot...

Reebok, What Have You Done Now

Have you seen the new Vancouver Canucks jerseys? Oh man. What planet do they have to sequester their fashion consultants on to get them to agree on these bad boys? So many mixed messages. They brought back the green and blue, which was inevitable I guess, but kept the exploding orca and topped it off with a big ol' reminder that hey guys, we play in Vancouver. I could have gotten behind mish mashing the two jerseys, but the nameplate kills it for me. Makes it feel hugely retro and confusing.

The new NHL jerseys have been trickling out all summer long, and while some teams have opted to keep it simple (Detroit, Nashville, LA and the Rangers) others have used it as an excuse to add some serious ugly. Poor Dipietro. The Islanders don't seem to know what they are doing on or off the ice. They riff on their upstate rival's habit of putting numbers on the front, and then they enlarge their logo because I guess they must have realized their aging baby boomer fans can't see as well as they used too. I think Long Island is the one place you don't want to be captain now. There is a lot going on there.

Tampa Bay and San Jose went for the same design philosophy: new and sleek and stylishly boring. Both have newly stylized emblems updated for the new millennium and I think San Jose might be trying to sneak some orange into their colours. I've been thinking for a while now that both of these teams could use a break from the kitschy early 90's inspired logos they were born with, and I guess I shouldn't ask for more.

It's not all bad; some of the teams that couldn't keep their secret have actually done well. The winners so far are Columbus and Boston I think. Columbus will be adopting that oh so snazzy dark blue patriotic number that had been slowly creeping more and more into Columbus' dressing room and all I can say is finally. Boston went small on their changes, adding serifs to the big B and some black outlines but all it does is make it look better. So far the Original Six teams haven't dropped the ball, but all that means is that there is a bigger chance it will be the Leafs who screw it up. They've already said that there will be changes to the leaf and while I don't think anyone at MLSE would be crazy enough to follow the lead of Tampa and San Jose and create some kind of ungodly stylized maple leaf cum ninja star, this is still the Leafs we are talking about so frankly, it could end up worse. The new Leaf duds drop in two weeks.

Florida seriously dropped the ball on their jerseys, I mean guys this is textbook how not to design a jersey. It's their whites that particularly offend my eyeballs. The Senators updated theirs too, and I will begrudgingly admit that they have made an improvement but let's all be honest with ourselves, they still suck eggs. Am I right or what.

Finally there's Washington, who I will give a tentative thumbs up for their change in direction. By change in direction I do of course mean backwards. Like Vancouver, the Caps have pulled the retro threads out for another try, except unlike Vancouver, the folks in Washington can commit to one idea at a time. Washington's new logo is just modern enough and I think their whites are particularly spiffy. The darks are maybe a little red, and I've never thought Alexander Ovechkin has looked particularly good while suiting up in the motherland's colours. Hey, do you think it's a coincidence that Washington has stepped in line with Russia's colour scheme?

We still have more than half the NHL waiting to walk down the runway. Calgary and Montreal are next and I wouldn't bet on big changes from either team. I'm still worried about my Leafs though. And while we are at it, nhllogos.blogspot.com these guys are the place for logo updates.

Jason

At Least We Got Somebody?

The Maple Leafs were late to the free agent dance again, and while they didn't end up waltzing away with a complete minger, they didn't quite end up with the homecoming queens. Fergie picked up Jason Blake for a lot of money and a long time, and while it's not entirely a bad move - adding a 40 goal scorer is never bad per se - but still, the dude is 33 dudes, and he's only now starting to be a premier goal scorer? I mean, you have to be suspicious of a guy who puts up career numbers in a contract year, especially this late in the game.

On the other hand, I'm also pretty glad that the Leafs didn't break the bank to sign Danny Briere or Chris Drury or Scott Gomez. Anything past 5 years on a contract and you have to wonder how far ahead the people responsible are really thinking.

Philadelphia and the Rangers are now my two least favourite teams in the East, incidentally. Phillie's looting of Nashville to pick up Hartnell and Timonen left a really sour taste in my mouth, and now they have Briere for forever, Smith from Edmonton plus Biron in net and it's almost like last season never even happened. I seriously hope they pull a Boston. And over in New York, they've actually built a team in which Jaromir Jagr is only the third highest paid player, which is such an impossible sentence that it can only come out of Broadway.

And now with the cap hitting fifty million, it looks like it's back to business as usual for the NHL, with the divide between small and large market teams becoming visible once again. Poor Buffalo which lost its two best players, plus Zubrus if that counts for anything; the Islanders who will have no chance of repeating their unlikely run to the playoffs now that half their players have been bought out from under them; and saddest of all Nashville, who saw a championship calibre team cannabalized right before their very eyes in a matter of weeks. I don't think there is anything sadder in pro sports than a great team being dismantled for financial reasons.

Paul Kariya, keeping with the free agent theme, must know something we don't, because he has signed away the last years of his prime to St. Louis, which is not a team that looks like it will be a contender any time soon. You'd think for a guy who still needs a Stanley Cup that he would have chosen any number of contenders that were willing to pay him money, and yet he lumps on with a team that's still rebuilding. Sticking with St. Louis, they did it again. They resigned a player they traded at the deadline last year, this time Keith Tkachuk, previously Doug Weight. This is a way uncool practice that should be stopped.

Back to the Leafs, Fergie is going with essentially the same team as last year, but with Raycroft splitting time with Vesa Toskala, and Jason Blake on Sundin's wing. Steen, Wellwood and Coliacovo are all a year older, and hopefully that much better, Antropov will stay healthy and chip in at least 20 (I'm not even kidding dudes), Ponikarovsky has 30 in him, I know it and Mats Sundin will score a reliable thirty goals, seventy points. With the stars aligned, this team can make the playoffs, can win a round or two as well.

It's not a Stanley Cup team though.

Jason

I Love You Dreger

Best free agent signing of last year? Darren Dreger going from Sportsnet to TSN, easily. The 'Net wasted him as a babysitter for Kypreos and Big Bill Watters, but TSN realized his true potential and gave him a megaphone to voice his previously hidden thoughts. Wouldn't you know it, the man knows what he's talking about.

Anyways, that all leads to this. According to the Insider, there is actually a team out there crazy enough to take Bryan McCabe's contract. Crazy hockey team? We're talking about the Islanders, natch, who all of a sudden find themselves with a hella lot more cap space now that Alexei Yashin can call himself a free agent. McCabe was el capitan on Long Island once upon a time, and word is, he might be willing to waive his ironclad no-movement clause to return there (in twenty years, John Ferguson Junior won't just be remembered as the warm body who filled the Leafs' GM spot after Pat Quinn and before the man who finally ended the cup draught, no Fergie will also be remembered as the man who gave hockey the no-movement clause. Let's all say thanks for that guys).

If there is a team silly enough to want McCabe at the almost 6 mil per the Leafs are paying him, it's going to be the Islanders. Buying out Yasher with four years left on his contract might be the sign of a team finally getting its act together, or it might be be a sign of business as usual.

No offense McCabe, but you might not have noticed that there are a ton of young ankle biting blueliners in Leaf jerseys just waiting for a chance to prove themselves, and as long as long as you continue to clog up a roster spot with your sustained mediocrity, it is just that much harder for them.

Go home Bryan.

Jason

Oh wait, while we're on the topic of Fergie and the Islanders, let's mention Sean Hill. It's Fergie's contention that because the NHL let Hill play even though they knew he was juicier than a Florida orange that my Buds missed the playoffs. Don't scapegoat Hill here. If he had maybe scored the game winning goal in their last regular season meeting, well maybe there would be an argument. But as it stands, Hill is a journeyman defenseman who does not tip the balance in anyone's favour. I just wanted to make that clear.

The Playoffs, Sans Maple Leafs, Again

Don't blame New Jersey for not starting Martin Brodeur, blame Toronto for not beating the New York Islanders when they had the chance last week. Thanks to that 5-2 loss, the Leafs' heroic performance on Saturday was meaningless. The better of the two teams made it, frankly. That's all I have to say on that.

With that, let's make some predictions on the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

East

Buffalo (1) vs New York Islanders (8)

Here's what all the fuss was about, a chance to lose to the league's best from Buffalo. The Islanders, who have done amazingly just to make the playoffs, will be wiped away by Buffalo with no problems. Buffalo just keeps getting healthier, and the Islanders will be relying on someone named Dubielewicz in net. The faster New York is gone, the happier I'll be. Buffalo in five.

New Jersey (2) vs Tampa Bay (7)

Sweet Lou surprised everybody by firing his coach with just days remaining in the regular season. The last time he did that, it resulted in a Cup victory. New Jersey is still missing some top players I believe, Martin Brodeur is really the only guy they need. Tampa Bay has this year's Rocket Richard Trophy winner in Vincent Lecavalier - the top goal scorer vs the top goalie. Goaltending wins out, and New Jersey wins in six.

Atlanta (3) vs New York Rangers (6)

This is a tough series to call. Atlanta is playing in its first ever playoffs, which has to count for something. Both teams played well down the stretch, Atlanta after acquiring Keith Tkachuk and Alexei Zhitnik; New York after picking up Sean Avery of all people. I'm going to give the edge to the Rangers who will win it in seven.

Ottawa (4) vs Pittsburgh (5)

This will easily be the most interesting series to watch. Sidney Crosby and the rest of the NHL's future square off against the NHL's most notorious chokers. I have a hunch that the the Pens will dominate the Sens, and that while it will be great to watch, the result won't be so great for Ottawa. Pittsburgh in six.

West

Detroit (1) vs Calgary (8)

Another year of playoffs, another year of Detroit in the number one seed, and another year taking on a team from Alberta, except this time, if they lose, it won't be quite as surprising. That's not to say that they will, because Calgary has been anything but impressive over the final stretch, but they will definitely put up a fight. I can't see Detroit allowing itself to be bounced in the first round again, so I'm saying Detroit in six.

Anaheim (2) vs Minnesota (7)

Anaheim is no one's underdog's this year, after putting up a consistently impressive season. Teemu Selanne keeps improving, the rookie's are scoring, the defense is solid and the goal-tender already has a Conn Smythe to his name. Minnesota, from here on out, the "darkhorse team", won't go quietly, having put up a very impressive final few months largely on the backs of the wonderful play of Marian Gaborik and rookie journeyman goaltender Niklas Backstrom. However, I'm always skeptical of flash-in-the-pan goalies like that, so I'll give it to Anaheim in five.

Vancouver (3) vs Dallas (6)

I don't see any reason to be excited about this Dallas team who is stocked with a great goalie with a bad playoff reputation. Of course, Vancouver's goalie has no playoff reputation at all, but Roberto Luongo is more or less why Vancouver is here in the first place, making this probably the easiest Western match up to call. Vancouver in six.

Nashville (4) vs San Jose (5)

This is an exact rematch of last year's 4th vs 5th seeds, in which San Jose manhandled a goalie-less Nashville team in just five games. It won't be so simple this time around, Nashville is much, much better now, and San Jose is still good without being great. It's time for Peter Forsberg to prove his worth and propel Nashville past the Sharks in seven games.

And that's that. I'll also go out on a limb and put Nashville and Buffalo in the finals, with the decision going to...... Nashville.

While we're with predictions, some matters of ego to attend to. Looking back to October, I called five of the eight teams in the East (somehow missing the upcoming horror show in Philadelphia, and mediocrity in Carolina and not surprisingly missing the miracle on ice on Long Island). In the West I (ready for it?) I went eight for eight, which isn't really that special considering the drop off in talent after ninth place.

That's all for now,

Jason

Sidenote - One year anniversary as of yesterday. Celebrate.

Clash Of The (Less Than) Titans

It's set. Montreal and Toronto both followed their scripts earlier tonight, and have set up Saturday's Hockey Night In Canada as the game to decide everything. Eighty-one games played, and it all comes down to the last one. Montreal leads Toronto by a point, meaning the Leafs need to beat the Canadiens in regulation to make the playoffs. Overtime will not do, because a tie in the standings would favour the Habs.

Both teams lost their games in New York, which is a rather deflating way to set up the most important game of the season, but really, the process doesn't matter right now, only the end result. The Leafs could have done themselves a favour by beating the Islanders today and eliminating them from contention, because technically that half of New York is still in the hunt with two games remaining, which could ultimately make all this Toronto-Montreal posturing purely academic.

Enough with the needless pessimism - the Islanders will stumble, my storybook ending says they have to. Saturday should be great. I don't want to get too optimistic, Montreal has been playing slightly better than Toronto, and we do have to win in regulation, which is something the Leafs haven't actually done since March 27. Going in the Leafs favour is that the game is in Toronto, where they have an eight game win streak going.

Decision: Maple Leafs? I hope so, so hard.

Jason

The East's Eighth Will Be No Chump

If (or when, for the half full crowd) the Leafs make the playoffs, I have a really good feeling about their prospects. Whichever team does takes the eighth and final Eastern spot will have damn well earned that berth. There are five teams looking for the last two spots (I'm assuming Tampa will get their act together), and you can be sure whoever gets there won't crawl in on their knees.

True, eighth isn't the hottest place to be, it's a invitation to Buffalo after all, but under my logic, if you can play the next ten games well enough to lock up a playoff spot, you can at least give the number one team in the NHL a good show.

New York, New York, Montreal, Carolina and Toronto are the challengers, two playoff spots are the reward. The Islanders will probably take one, as long DiPietro keeps up the ubermensch performance (and thereby qualify for an apology from every single hockey fan who ever said anything bad about them in the off season, myself included). The Rangers did a lot just to get back into the race, and Shanny might return soon too, so counting them out would be silly, but we've already given one spot away, and the second is reserved for the Maple Leafs... so... yeah. They'll choke eventually. Carolina doesn't seem to have anything big going their way, nothing stands out about the defending champs, and Montreal is too busy being Quebec's newest daily soap opera to find any success on the ice. The Leafs have their number one power play unit back with the return of Tucker and Wellwood. The Leafs played five hundred hockey while they were gone, and now that they're back, logic, if nothing else, says that the Leafs start to play better.

They beat (a severely undermanned) New Jersey (by one goal) last night, which is promising. Of the five teams, Toronto has the hardest schedule, playing just one non-playoff team in their final ten. Luckily though, Toronto also plays the four teams around them once each, placing Toronto's fate in their own hands. A home and home against Buffalo looms, which is good, because it will give us a potential preview of the first round. If the Leafs get swept here, than preparing for the playoffs is pointless. If they turn in a good performance, just spilt the series, hope will continue to sparkle.

Jason

Hunting The Most Dangerous Prey Of All

We don't like cheering against Carolina. It was less than a year ago we were rooting for them in the cup final. Now we are forced to hate them passionately. Catching the dying seconds of the 'Lina-Devils game, with New Jersey up by one and the Hurcs pouring it on like they were never going to play another game, we had to struggle to remind ourselves that damn it, Carolina is in Toronto's way. They must be sacrificed. New Jersey did it's job (Martin Brodeur for MVP anyone?) and Carolina lost.

These playoff races make strange bedfellows.

Another reaction we weren't thrilled to meet: cheering for Ottawa. They picked the Islanders apart tonight, which is good news. Hey, does it make us bad people that the first thing we thought when we saw Dipietro go down was, "Sweet"?

The Leafs play back to back now against the cannon fodder Capitals and the sinking Canadiens. Assured wins? Only if we weren't talking about our Buds.

Until then,

Jason

I Like My Trade Deadlines Like I Like My Women, Scantily Clad and Slightly Inebriated. I Mean, Wait...

We missed the Trade Deadline festivities today because we have, you know, a life, and it doesn't look like we missed out on too much. Our breakdown of the bigger ones:

Ryan Smyth to the Islanders. Apparently the Maple Leafs were in on this one too, but it was New York who won out in the end. New York just got a lot better, a lot fast. However, they gave away a boatload of youth to get him. This only becomes a good deal if the Isles win the cup (Hah!) or resign Smyth before he walks back to Edmonton as free agent. Oh, and we're not sure why, but we're getting this weird vibe out of Edmonton that they just might be finished. Call it a hunch.

Yannic Perrault to Toronto. This is a cool move, and it would have been cooler if it hadn't been the Leafs' only move. Perrault is back for his third try with Toronto, and he comes as one of the NHL's underrated players. Mr. Faceoffs won't make or break Toronto's playoff push, but he isn't going to hurt. We are also cool with Brendan Bell leaving. He was the odd man out on Toronto's back line, and it's not as if Toronto is exactly desperate for young d-men. Also happy to see GM John Ferguson show some restraint on Jamal Mayers (Jiri Tlusty and a firster for a guy on pace for twenty points? What?). Question though, where's Gary Roberts?

Todd Bertuzzi to Detroit. Less than a year ago, Bertuzzi was worth just slightly less than Roberto Luongo, now he's good for a conditional draft pick. At least Florida fans won't have a daily reminder of the worst trade in NHL history skating for them anymore. Detroit inherits a no risk player with this deal. If he does well, and the Red Wings go far in the playoffs, they're on the hook for a first rounder, which is fair enough, but if he goes down again (he's not even back yet) they're out a third round pick. No biggie in other words. Good trade by D-town.

Dainus Zubrus in, Martin Biron out of Buffalo. The Zubrus trade is good, the Sabres are just looking for guys who can skate on two legs right now (Not that that stopped them from pasting Toronto 6-1 a few hours ago). Biron to Philly though? And for just a second round draft pick? This deal feels a little too late. The Slugs (we're doing our part too Erin) should have held on to him for the playoffs. Seriously, they didn't get enough in return to justify it. Also, Ty Conklin? Why does this guy get another shot at the Cup finals?

Gary Roberts to Pittsburgh. Great trade, and the only weird thing is that Roberts had to even think about it. A chance to play on the NHL's next dynasty? And he would have taken Toronto or Ottawa? Over Crosby and Malkin? Glad he came to his senses. The Penguins also picked up Georges Laraque, who somehow is earning more than a mil, and has a no-trade clause in his contract. Pittsburgh gets that enforcer everyone's been telling them to get. Now we'll see if a heavy was really the missing piece to their puzzle. Early prediction: It's wasn't.

Bill Guerin to San Jose. A good deal here, and a hell of a lot better than Atlanta's desperation trade for his teammate Kieth Tkachuk. He's no Forsberg, but San Jose gave a pretty clear up yours to Nashville.

Anything Boston did. So Boston has given up, fair enough, but how does trading away Brad Boyes and Paul Mara help? I thought rebuilding revolved around keeping your good young players. Whatever, we won't complain, because with Boyes safe in St. Louis (how about John Davidson, who probably deserves the title of Deadline King) we won't have a constant reminder of the unfortunate Nolan trade. Thanks B's.

In the end, the important thing is that the Leafs didn't do anything stupid this time (Francis, Johansson, Housely, Nolan, Gilmour, etc.). Baby steps, folks, baby steps.

Jason

This Just In: Lists Are In Vogue

Things about the NHL that make us smile:

Goalie fights - We need more of these. You've probably seen, or at least heard about the fight between Ray Emery and Marty Biron last night in Buffalo. Perhaps it's the sheer absurdity of having the the two paddedest players on the ice wailing on each other, or perhaps it's the rarity with which they occur (the last one in the NHL involved a guy named Felix Potvin, if that helps). While last night's probably made Patrick Roy laugh a big hearty laugh (c'mon Biron, at least pretend to try!), it's really the thought that counts.

Ray Emery - Keeping on the Emery theme, that guy is now our favourite goaltender in the NHL. Taking down Biron and then squaring off with Buffalo heavy Andrew Peters all the while wearing a huge grin on his face has cemented our belief that Ottawa has a winner in net. Too bad it took them so long to figure it out.

Three Point Games - Some people don't seem to like that overtime losers still get to take a point home with them, despite not actually winning. Screws up the standings don't you know. No, no, and no. Three point games are why the Eastern Conference is going to go right down to the final day in deciding who makes the playoffs and who doesn't. It's all about the drama here folks. The same can't be said in the West, where the top eight won't change between now and April (Edmonton, even your GM would agree with us), but hey, it's official company policy here at 64 Years and Counting care that we don't care about anything west of Toronto.

Simple Salary Caps - Some have suggested that in the new NHL, deadline trades are next to impossible due to salary cap constraints. All the good teams are brushing against the thing already. If only, if only teams could trade away cap space to other teams! Imagine the possibilities! Yeah, but here's what would actually happen. The NHL's salary cap would look something like the NBA's, by which we mean it would be five kinds of confusing and nobody but the sportswriters would really have any idea what the hell was happening. Seriously, the first person who can explain the NBA's cap system deserves a Nobel prize in economics. Hockey's version is clean and easy. Don't spend more than the cap, dumbass.

Blockbuster Trades - Tell us you don't love it when big names get swapped. C'mon, do it, and then revoke your sports fan identification please. The NHL's trade deadline, a mini-holiday here in Canada (American fans, you can probably only guess at the silliness engendered by all day tradecentre coverage), is a beautiful thing. Peter Forsberg is gone already, but what about Tkachuk, Guerin, Tucker, Smyth, Biron et al? The suspense is killing us.

Goalie Fights - Ok, we said that already, but really, can you name a better part of hockey? Four-on-four overtime? Good, but not great. Shootouts? Not as cool as we had hoped. Toronto beating Ottawa? Well, getting closer, but still not quite as special. Goalies of the NHL, please, beat each other up more often. It's what we all secretly want.

Jason

(Props to us for not mentioning Kerry Frasers' fuckup last night in the Leafs-Isles game. We could mention how it was his bollocks of an incidental goalie interference call that called back what would have been the Leafs third goal, but we are too classy for that. We are also too classy to also mention that that because of that call, New York was able to tie the game, and take advantage of the Leafs godawful shootout record. Even furthermore, we have too much respect for the NHL and its officials to complain that incidental goalie interference is as stupid a rule as you can find. If he interfered with the goalie, give him the freaking penalty. If anything, it was DiPietro who interfered with Ponikarovsky anyway. And did you even see Sundin's non-goal? The puck was almost literally level with the redline when he shot it. He deserved the the goal just for sheer ballsyness. Right, but we're not going to mention any of that, because that is crass and poor sportsmanship.)

Well Isle Be Damned...

LATE BREAKING NEWS!!! - We have just received word that the New York Islanders (never a good way to start a story off) have gone and done it again. We hope you are sitting down for this one, or at least leaning against a wall or something, because even as stupid Islander moves go, this one is bad.

Ok, so here it is. Rick DiPietro, you remember him? The Isles' first over all pick a few years ago? Decent goalie? Well, maybe a little shaky? Yeah, him. Well, he signed a new contract with them today. It was... um, quite the contract.

They signed him for fifteen, FIFTEEN (!!!fifteen!!!), freaking years. That's a one and a five folks. Three times five gives you fifteen as well as the stupidest contract ever put down on paper. To reiterate, they signed DiPietro for fifteen years. What the fuck. Really, what do you say to that? Just, what the fuck. Our first reaction was to break out in tears. That is singularly the worst idea ever put forward in the history of not only the NHL, but all of pro sports.

Not coincidentally it was done by the New York Islanders, and more specifically, their owner cum whackjob Charles Wang, who seems to have as much hockey sense as a dead beagle. This deal is just such an exceptionally, mindboggingly horrible idea that it defies description. How many different ways can we write "what the fuck"?

Let's try to break this down. Let's start at the top. The New York Islanders, we're told at least, reeled off four straight Stanley Cups way back in the day. This is not that team. This team hasn't won a playoff series in more than a decade. It has been saddled with an incompetent GM for the past forever in Mike Millbury.

A laundry list of his offences: Signed Alexei Yashin to the (formerly) worst contract ever, chaining him up for ten years. We're not even halfway through that yet. He let players like Zdeno Chara, Wade Redden, Dany Heatly, Marian Gaborik slip away. He drafted DiPietro first over all in 2000, a vote of confidence, absurd 15 year contracts to the contrary, that he has yet to live up to.

So they scrapped Millbury this summer. About time they said. This guy made Isaiah Thomas look like a freaking genius. Ah, but the ride didn't stop there. The team then went about finding a replacement at both coaching and GM positions. Except they hired both independently of each other. Forget letting the new GM build the team the way he wants it, Wang went and found a coach by himself.

They ended up with Ted Nolan and Neil Smith, neither of whom had seen any NHL action in more than a few winters. Ok, whatever, the important thing is that Mad Mike is gone. Let's get this show on the road.

Except that wasn't it. Forty days later and Smith was gone from the GM's office. He did the draft, signed the free agents and then was out the door, nice ta meet cha Neil, don't let the door hit you on the way out. His replacement was even better though. Wang didn't look far. In fact, he didn't look past the dressing room, plucking DiPietro's backup, Garth Snow off the ice and placing him in the GM's chair. Ok, ok, not the worst thing in the world. Sure, Snow has no experience with that side of the game, but hey, you have to start somewhere, right?

Wrong. So, so wrong.

Then this doozy slips out. What the fuck is wrong with these people? Please, pardon our French, but there's no other way of saying this. This is nothing against DiPietro personally. He's a decent goalie, nothing special, or at least not yet. Wang obviously thinks he's going to turn into some sort of puck stopping dynamo, and here's hoping he's right. But seriously, there are virtually no scenarios where this deal works out over the long run. Fifteen year (fifteen years!) is too long to be making predictions.

Let's make this clear, no player is worth a fifteen year contract. That's a recipe for disaster. Long term deals are bad for both parties. Let's look at Yashin's deal. Yashin is saddled with the most (or, second most now) untradable contract ever. His slumping production has turned him into magnet for criticism, and his reputation has suffered greatly since heading to Long Island.

It only took a year or two for people to realise just how monumentally bad an idea Yashin's contract was. What if DiPietro, who, unlike Yashin, has yet to do anything to remotely justify this payout, bombs early and often? Yashin's contract is dragging on already, and it's only on it's fifth year.

This will end badly for everybody. And one more time, what the fuck?!

Jason