Bosox? Try Nosox

The Jays took a tight one against the Red Sox today, winning off an eighth inning pinch hit RBI from Shea "Anywhere but Anaheim" Hillenbrand. Final score: 7-6. That the Jays led at one point 6-0, is purely inconsequential.

Roy "I'll Have My Cy Young to Go, Please" Halladay was cheated out of the win by a less than stellar Jays bullpen, but the important thing is that the Jays won against the division leading Bosox.

We came across this nice little stat: the Jays are 6-3 against Boston so far this season. That's the kind of stuff the Jays need if they're going to challenge for anything this season.

In other news, after what probably only seemed like the longest homerless streak ever, Barry "Don't Even Say It" Bonds reeled off number 715 in front of the only people who still seem to cheer for him these days, the San Fran crowd.

Well congrats, we suppose. We have to ask though, was second place on the all time home run list really worth selling your soul? We hope so, because seriously, second's as far as he's ever going to get on that list.

In other, other news, Ricky Williams is now officially a Toronto Argonaut, which has sparked a serious case of sour grapes. If you're to lazy to follow the link (I know I would be) I'll give you a brief synopsis:

Montreal Alouettes GM: Blah blah blah not fair blah blah

You just know the other teams are just kicking themselves for not thinking of signing Williams first, and this is their way of taking out there anger.

Tough cookies.

And finally, in the so sad it's almost funny department, Ronaldo "To Good For a Last Name" has stated that he would someday like to play in the US.

Cringe.

Yeah, Pele did it too, but that doesn't make it cool.

The MLS is for average American players and washed up Europeans. Where would Ronaldo fit into that equation?

If you didn't follow the link (this is becoming a bad habit!) here's the bare bones:

"Right now I have a contract with Real Madrid and I'm only thinking about the World Cup, but without a doubt, the American market is one of my goals for the future," his exact words were.

We're going to go out on a limb here and say that when he says future, he means when no one in Europe will pay him any more.

Speaking of washed up Brazilians, the once and future Brazilian star Romario has been sighted playing for some minor-minor league soccer team in Miami. He played recently in Toronto, scoring the only goal in a one-nothing victory over the hometown Toronto Lynx.

We only note this because the former superstar is on a quest that makes Barry Bonds' ill-fated home run chase look like a cakewalk.

You see, Romario is on a quest to become only the second footballer to score 1000 goals (a shiny penny to whoever can name the first to do so - hint: it rhymes with "melee").

He says that he is currently around 960, though, give or take 20 or 30. Give mostly.

Nobody is quite sure how Romario arrived at that number, his career has spanned three continents and a slew of different teams, not least of which is the Brazilian national team. It's also not clear what Mr. Mario considers a goal. Are goals scored in practice fair game? Or only when nobody's looking?

Romario is at the ripe old age of 40 (73 in soccer years) and he definitely isn't getting any younger. He has desperate written all over him. His hair is speckled with gray, and on the field the word, "run" is as foreign to him as the lady who cleans my house (No, I kid, Maria has her citizenship. Or, that's what she told me...).

So a double plea to both Romario and Bonds: Please, please, please retire. Please, you're embarrassing yourself and all the fans who once cheered for you. Please call it quits.

Please?

Jason.

63 Hours Worth of News

The Jays are going along at a nice clip, even without the services of Gustavo Chacin and A.J. Burnett. They won again this afternoon, taking a 3-2 decision through 11 against the White Sox, giving them the series win to boot.

They go for the sweep tomorrow, but don't hold your breath. If our memory serves correct, thw Jays have yet to sweep a series so far this season.

In other news, the Toronto Argos are mere days away from officially signing NFL running back Rickey Williams for the season. I'd be a little worried if I were the Miami Dolphins though; after a year of Canada's laid back marijuana laws, will Rickey even want to come back?

In other, other news, Barry Bonds is still trying to take second place on the all-time homer list for himself. We are starting to wonder if Mr. Bonds will even last the season the way he's playing these days.

In other, other, other nonsporting news, the city of Toronto is set to make a bid for the 2015 World Expo. You'll excuse us if we don't seem overjoyed. It's like, talk about setting your sights low.

So you you were turned down the IOC, that doesn't mean you have to go scrounging around the bottom of the barrel to find a replacement. The World's Fair is like the Olympic's shorter, uglier, older sister.

The good folks behind this money pit insist this move will raise Toronto's international profile. Snicker. Seriously, can you name the city that hosted the last World's Fair? Yeah, me neither. For all I know, the World's Fair could be going on right now.

The only other city in the running is some Turkish 'burb, which, and we don't mean to sound cocky here, practically guarantees Toronto that Expo.

This is such a bad idea on so many levels.

In even further news, some horse broke its leg. And yet life goes on, the sun still rises in the morning and it still sets in the evening. Please, it's just a horse. Get over it.

And finally, Edmonton is sooooo close to making it to the Stanley Cup finals. If any Canadian team is going to win the cup (not named Toronto, that is) we're glad it's going to be Edmonton.

We here couldn't cheer for Ottawa of course, and Vancouver and Calgary are simply out of the question. We could stomach Montreal winning actually, they have enough that one more won't make a difference. But Edmonton, this is the team that could, the team the wouldn't give up.

We started the playoffs with a serious case of Oiler doubt, predicting a swift defeat at the hands of first Detroit, and then San Jose. That never happened of course, and now we find ourselves fully converted to the Oiler experience. Go Oils!

That's all for now,

Jason

Everything's Coming up Colangelo

File this one under didn't see this coming, because the Raptors have landed the first overall pick in the NBA draft.

Yeah, we're at a loss for words too.

Now, we won't suggest that hiring Brian Colangelo as GM was directly responsible for this crazy turn of luck, but c'mon, how many first overall picks did Rob "I'll Trade My Vince Carter for your Ham Sandwich and a Shiny Nickle" Babcock earn the Raptors?

None.

Now we here at 63 Years don't know enough about the depth of this year's draft to properly comment on it, though we've heard is not overly uplifting.

Anyway, this is a great chance for the Raptors to get something done. There may be no slam dunk rookie (get it? Slam dunk? Anything?), but the guys available are no slouches.

In other (belated) news, as part of the MLB interleague play, the Jays found themselves playing their ancient arch-rivals, the ahem, Colorado Rockies.

Yeah, we're slightly confused too. But with the departure of Les Expos (au revoir...), the Jays find themselves without a true NL rival.

But no matter, that didn't stop the Rockies from adminstering an old fashion mountain ass kicking on the Blue Birds, sweeping them in three.

In Toronto's defense, we could mention Denver's mile-high altitude, and the NL's cockamamie habit of inserting pitchers into the batting order, but instead we will just extend a warm welcome to the Rockie's to come visit Toronto. Let's see how they play with one of them new-fangled DH thingies.

In even more Jays news, the boys from the T-Dot have rebounded nicely from their Nl drubbing, rebounding to take their series against Tampa Bay in the first two games.

There's no better way to stroke an ego than to smack the D-Rays around, I tell you what.

Drafting on Heavens door,

Jason

Updating for the Sake of Updating

Much has happened in the last four days of sports, since anyone (me) here bothered to update. So if this is your sole source of sporting goodness, we apologise for any inconveniance, and suggest that you try getting a life, loser.

Firstly, there hasn't been much Toronto based news lately. The Jays are the only show in town, and they're going along nicely. Win a couple here, win a couple there, always a game or two behind New York and Boston.

Super ace Roy Halladay is at 5-1, and in our humble opine, the early forerunner for the Cy Young. He pitches tonight actually, but the game is in Anahiem, or LA, or wherever the Angels play their ball games nowadays, and we have beauty sleep to attend to.

Secondly, Barry Bonds is still one short of Babe Ruth, which, as far as we're concerned is where he can stay.

Thirdly, 63 Years went o-4 in our NHL playoff predictions. That is embaressing, no two ways about it.

We have decided to jump on the Edmonton bandwagon though, and are optimistic about putting them in the finals against Carolina. We've been betting against Buffalo all the way so far, and we don't see any reason to stop now.

Fourthly, the Detroit Pistons are on the verge of joining the Red Wings on the Motor City's many fine golf courses, having dropped game five to Lebron James and four other guys. Seeing as how we picked Detroit to win it all, here's hoping they can pull something off.

Though, if you've been paying attention, you'll realise that our powers of prediction are somewhat wanting.

Fifthly, and finally, Barcelona are champ-ionies of Europe taking down a 10-man Arsenal side 2-1. No surprises there, Barcelona is easily one of the best, if not the best club in Europe.

I was disapointed to see the final ten minutes disolve into a teamwide game of keep away by Barcelona. Arsenal barely touched the ball after Barca scored in the 80th minute. They couldn't muster anything, which turned the game into the worse kind of soccer imaginable.

We are the knights who say Nou,

Jason

Mo' Maurice, Mo' Problems

It was really only a matter of time of course, before the Toronto Maple Leafs made it official.
Paul Maurice becomes the newest schlub to take on the daunting task of coaching in the centre of the universe. He is always described as having a great sense of humour, which is a trait he's going to have to hold on to if he doesn't want to have his soul sucked out by the enormous pressure and ridiculous expectations placed on any Leaf coach.

Pat "Lower Body Injury" Quinn, the last sucker to try to do anything with this team, was adept at handling the swarms of "reporters" (excuse our cynicism) that even the most meaningless of practices would attract.

Will Maurice be able to take that? His last job was after all, in that hockey mecca of Raleigh, North Carolina, where the team was lucky to attract two or three members of the media.

Maybe that's all a little unfair to the guy though. Despite being saddled with crappy Hurricane teams for his entire NHL coaching career, he has managed one Stanley Cup final appearance, which mathematically speaking, is an infinitely greater number than the Leafs have managed over the past forty seasons.

Welcome to Toronto Maurice, the place where ambitions come to die. We only hope you make it out of here in one piece.

In other news, it's time to break out the bubbly. The Jays' whipping boy, Josh Towers, finally won his first start today, dismantling the Tampa Bay Devil Rays 8-3, in a very convincing, 8 inning, 76 pitch outing.

That puts his record on the long path to recovery, now an only slightly less unsightly 1-7. If you wanted to be a Gloomy Gladys about it, you could point out that he got his first win against one of the worst teams in the league, and that manhandling the D-Rays hardly qualifies as an accomplishment. But that would also make you a jerk. Just savour the moment. Josh Towers is back baby.

In other, other news, the Ottawa Senators have choked. Again. They were eliminated from the second round of the playoffs in a depressing five games by the Buffalo Sabres (doing their best impression of the Toronto Maple Leafs).

The most ridiculous thing that we're hearing though, is that owner/jillionaire Eugene Melnyk wants major changes made to the team.

Major changes? What? Are you kidding?

You have one of the undeniably best teams in the league, and you want to blow it all up just because you were undressed in the playoffs?

Talk about fickle.

As a fan of a team that has only topped the 100 point mark once in it's 70 or so year history, I find it hard to believe that people are so negative on the Senators.

Of course, even if they wanted it, the Senators brass would be hard pressed to keep this team together. All-star defensemen Wade Redden and Zdeno Chara are both free agents, and the best bet is that the Sens will only have money for one of them (A sudden image of Redden wearing a Leafs' jersey has filled my head). Martin Havlat has another year on his contract, but he may be on his way out anyway. And we'd be a little surprised if Emery was the starting goaltender next year.

Not because he isn't good enough, because he is, but because Ottawa fans are notoriously capricious. Nothing short of absolute and total success will ever be tolerated by Senator nation (which, come to think of it, is a pretty weak criticism. Sure beats the laissez-faire apathy of Leafs fans).

And in one last tidbit (we promise) of news, this guy seems to be surprised that Yankee pitcher Randy Johnson is, get this, struggling.

Umm, when you're approaching your 93 birthday, I hardly think it counts as struggling. This is just the way Randy Johnson is now.

Where did people get this idea in their head that Randy is still in his prime? The man is, by sports standards, ancient. It's unfair for people to assume he's the same pitcher he was ten years ago, or even five.

We've long been critical of the Yankee's move to make Johnson their so-called ace.

"So, what, exactly, is wrong?" asked Mr. Klapisch, in the above referenced article. What went wrong? I'll tell you what the problem is. He turned 42, that's what.

Get off Randy's back people, his best days are in the past. Just appreciate him for what he can still do.

Later,

Jason

No, I mean Toronto's Other Football Team

Toronto has added one more professional team to its ranks, with the unveiling of its new MLS franchise. And while we could joke that the MLS hardly qualifies as a professional league, we don't think that would be appropriate.

Sure, the MLS is about as popular as professional hot dog eating, and only slightly less nauseating to watch, and sure, North America and futbol go together like peanut butter and pickles, but forget all that. This is a happy day for soccer in Canada. Because of this new soccer team, Toronto will now have an honest to goodness soccer stadium to call its own.

The team has been named Toronto FC, which is a good solid name. Nothing fruity or weird about that. None of this ripping off real teams (Real Salt Lake? Houston Dynamo? Who are they trying to fool here?), and way better than the proposed Internazionale Toronto.

Not to mention their spiffy logo. I mean seriously, that's a quality logo.

But there are dark clouds over this team. They are owned by a monster known as Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment, the beast responsible for 51 one years worth of futility. As owners of the Maple Leafs and Raptors, things do not bode well for MLS's Canadian pioneer.

But they don't start playing until 2007. Time enough to prove me wrong.

And speaking of Toronto and football, the Toronto Argonauts, our representative in the CFL, have earned themselves their first mention on 63 Years and Counting with the chuckle worthy move of placing running back/junkie Ricky Williams on their negotiation list.

For those not in the know, Ricky Williams was suspended for the season by the NFL for toking up once too many times.

The Argos, savvy customers that they are, imediately put him on their list, giving them exclusive rights to talk with him.

And the funny thing is that Ricky might actually be open to it. The Miami Dolphins surely want him to be doing something during his hiatus (get it? Hiatus, high? Yeah... that wasn't very good), and the CFL certainly constitutes something.

And while you could probably say something about the CFL accepting the NFL's dregs, and what kind of message does this send to the youth of today, it's more likely you'd end up with a smack. Of course the CFL will take the NFL's leftovers; that's the way it works. The CFL is like a second chance for the castoffs, the has beens, the wannabees, and the rejects that the NFL has deemed unworthy. That's just the way things are.

And about the drug use thing, well... did we mention he's a former Heisman Trophy winner?

And in other news, the Jays smacked the A's around today 8-3. Ted Lilly got the win, and he's going to have to keep being solid if this team hopes to go anywhere. A.J Burnett is still out, Gustavo Chacin is the newest question mark with a strained something or other, and Josh Towers, now at an unsightly 0-7, is quite quickly pitching his way out of the starting rotation.

In other, other news, we have to admit that following our advice in the NHL playoffs is hardly the best idea. We picked New Jersey over Carolina and they're now down 3-0; we picked Ottawa over Buffalo and they're now down 3-1; we picked Colorado over Anahiem and they're down 3-0 and in the process of losing game four as we type.

Hindsight is 20/20,

Jason

Brotherly Love, My Ass

I love Philadelphia baseball fans.

Nuff said,

Jason

On Second Thought...

So it appears that 63 Years and Counting's much vaunted powers of prediction have been, ahem, greatly exaggerated.

Three games into the NHL's second round, and all three of the teams we picked to advance, Ottawa, New Jersey, and Colorado, are all staring down at 1-0 series deficits. In the case of New Jersey and Colorado, they not only lost, they lost by a coimbined score of 11-0.

So, if you placed some large sum of money based on our predictions, now would be a good time to bail out. We won't hold it against you.

In our defense though, we should note that we did predict that the Phoenix Suns would successfully complete the comeback against the LA Lakers, which they followed through on today, winning 121-90. Just to prove it,

In other, other, other news, the Phoenix Suns, home of Super Canuck Steve Nash, have forced a game seven against Kobe Bryant, er... the LA Lakers. Unless Kobe can put up another 80 point game, this one is going the Suns way.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Yeah, we feel special.

In other news, after ka-pounding the Angels 13-3 on Friday, the Jays turned around and lost 3-0. How that is even possible... The winning pitcher was none other than former Jay, Kelvim Escobar. It's a four game series though, so there's still time to make up for that. If memory serves correct, Roy Halladay takes the mound tomorrow.

Later,

Jason

We Promise We''ll Do Better This Time

It's time for our second round predictions for the NHL playoffs. We didn't do as well as we thought we did in the first round, going 4 for 8. But this time, we promise that all of our picks will be guaranteed 100%, no ifs ands or buts. Unless they turn out all wrong, in which case, you never met us, got it?

Eastern Conference

Ottawa (1) vs Buffalo (4)
This should be great match up. Both teams are young and fast, and both have unproven goalies backing them up. But once gaain, betting against the Senators is a fools game. As much as we'd like to see Ottawa go down flaming 4-0 to Buffalo, we don't see that happening. Ottawa wins in six.

Carolina (2) vs New Jersey (3)
Carolina showed that they were prone to mistakes against Montreal, while New Jersey showed that they were prone to wiping the floor with their opponent in sweeping New York. Martin Brodeur is head and shoulders above youngster Cam Ward in net, and Patrick Elias is carrying his team's offensive load. Carolina will definitely make it close, but this one can only go one way. New Jersey in six.

Western Conference

San Jose (5) vs Edmonton (8)
We bet against Edmonton in the first round, and got burned. However, that's not going to stop us from picking San Jose over the Oilers in this round. The Sharks can rely on so many players to step up, and Edmonton has to bank on Dwayne Roloson continuing his lights out perfomance. Sharks in five.

Anaheim (6) vs Colorado (7)
It's hard to chose which was the bigger upset, Colorado over Dallas, or Anaheim over Calgary. Either way, these to teams are here now, and the onus is on them to prove that their berths in the second round weren't flukes. Our gut is telling us to go with Colorado, which took care of the Stars so easily that one can't help but think that momentum is going to carry over. Colorado in six.

In other news, Team Canada played its first game in the IIHF World Hockey Championships (aka The Loser's Tournament) against Denmark 5-3. It was hardly an impressive win, Canada blew a three goal lead in the second, but still came out on top. To give you idea of the depth of Team Canada, they've fielded a team consisting of guys like Mike Comrie, Dan Hamhuis, and rookies Mike Richards and Jeff Carter, and they're still favourites to win it all. Canada's top line consists of Sidney Crosby sandwiched between Brad Boyes and Patrice Bergeron. They're back stopped by Columbus' Marc Denis (what, no Luongo?).

Hardly the finest batch of boys to wear the red and white, sure, but they're still more than enough to take down the best Europe has to offer. And besides, it's not like anybody in Canada is actually paying attention to it. In terms of hockey importance, the World Championships are a slight head above the Spengler Cup.

In other, other news, Josh Towers was his usual self last night, allowing the Red Sox to milk him for seven runs through five innings. With A.J Burnett done for at least another month, the Jays desperately need Towers to start winning ball games.

In other, other, other news, the Phoenix Suns, home of Super Canuck Steve Nash, have forced a game seven against Kobe Bryant, er... the LA Lakers. Unless Kobe can put up another 80 point game, this one is going the Suns way.

Later,

Jason

Correction: In The Article Dated April 19th...

After one round of play, 63 Years and Counting has returned to walk you through the first round. Our predictions did not go so hot, we will admit, but then again, did anyone predict both Detroit and Dallas would be eliminated? No you didn't, liar. Our first round record was 4 for 8, which, while not terrible, hardly speaks to our knowledge of hockey.

Without further ado, a first round recap of where we went wrong (and right).

Ottawa (1) vs Tampa Bay (8)
What we said: Ottawa 4, Tampa 2
What happened: Ottawa 4, Tampa 1

So it looks like we gave Tampa Bay a bit too much credit on this one. But betting against Ottawa is a fools game. This one was a no-brainer.

Carolina (2) vs Montreal (7)
What we said: Montreal 4, Carolina 3
What happened: Carolina 4, Montreal 2

We went with our hearts on this one, and got burned. Though for the first two games, in which Montreal jumped out to a two game lead, we looked like geniuses. But the loss of captain Saku Koivu and the insertion of Can Ward into the Carolina net were too much for Les Habitants to handle. We still maintain though, that had Koivu stayed in the series, it would be Montreal advancing, and not the Hurricanes.

New Jersey (3) vs New York (6)
What we said: New Jersey 4, New York 1
What happened: New Jersey 4, New York 0

We saw this smackering coming from a mile away. New Jersey was just too hot, and New York relied on Jaromir Jagr just a bit too much for it to end any other way. We did think though, that Jagr would be good for at least one Ranger win. Whoops.

Buffalo (4) vs Philadelphia (5)
What we said: Philadelphia 4, Buffalo 3
What happened: Buffalo 4, Philadelphia 2

In retrospect, this series was painfully obvious right from the start. But we, wrongly, believed that the Flyers combo of strength and Peter Forsberg would shut down the Sabre's speed. Scores of 8-2 and 7-1 in Buffalo's favour would seem to cast some doubt on this though. If we could go back and redo this, we would take Buffalo in a heartbeat.

Detroit (1) vs Edmonton (8)
What we said: Detroit 4, Edmonton 1
What happened: Edmonton 4, Detroit 2

This one was ugly. The Oilers have gone and knocked off our picks for the Stanley Cup Champ, in the first round no less. We didn't see this one coming. Perhaps the criticism that has dogged the Red Wings all season, that their record was inflated by playing 24 games against punching bag teams like Columbus, Chicago and St. Louis, holds some merit after all. Either way, this a big upset, and questions will probably be asked in Detroit.

Dallas (2) vs Colorado (7)
What we said: Dallas 4, Colorado 2
What happened: Colorado 4, Dallas 1

I don't think many people in the hockey world predicted Dallas just rolling over to the Avs when this series began. Who could have foreseen the meltdown of Marty Turco? Who could have foreseen the dominance of the Avs? Who could have foreseen the return to form of Jose Theodore? Not us, that's for sure.

Calgary (3) vs Anaheim (6)
What we said: Anaheim 4, Calgary 2
What happened: Anaheim 4, Calgary 3

This is the prediction we're most proud of, because a) not too many had this happening, and b) we really don't like Calgary. The final score of the final game was Anaheim 3, Calgary 0, a fitting end for a team that struggled to score goals all season.

Nashville (4) vs San Jose (5)
What we said: San Jose 4, Nashville 2
What happened: San Jose 4, Nashville 1

This was another no-brainer. San Jose was way too hot, and Nashville was relying on some no name goalie, which meant an easy win for the Sharks. It's interesting to note that the Sharks won despite getting little production from their Richard-Hart combo of Cheechoo and Thornton. If they can manhandle Nashville with those guys just coasting along, imagine what they'll do once they get going.

It's intesting to note that in the East, all the topseeded teams advanced (Ottawa, Carolina, New Jersey, Buffalo) while in the West, all the top seeded teams flamed out (Detroit, Dallas, Calgary, Nashville). Coincidence? We'll leave that to you to decide. But it makes us feel confident that this year's Cup will go to the east side, in the form of either New Jersey or Ottawa (we're not sure which yet).

In other news, the Jays won a tight one in Fenway last night, taking a 7-6 win over Boston, curtesy of a late Russ Adams double off (formerly) lights out closer Jonathon Papelbon. That would be the first run Papelbon has given up all season, and it came at the worst possible time.

Speaking of sparkling closers, how good is is the decision to bring in B.J Ryan looking now? He has six saves, none blown and no runs against through one month of play. Granted, the Jays haven't needed his services as much as maybe they thought they would, but that's probably a good thing.

Later,

Jason

Barry Bonds vs Major League Baseball

Well, MLB has given Barry Bonds a not-so-sutble "Fuck you" in the form of not recognizing his inevitable passing of Babe Ruth as note worthy.

And while their point is valid, passing the Bambino doesn't actually break any records, you have to think that if this was anybody but Bonds, MLB would at least deign to have some sort of celebration, no matter how small.

Especially since Bonds hunt for Hank Aaron's record, in my opinion at least, is hopeless. That anybody still talks of Bonds' passing Aaron in terms of "when" and not "if" is incredibly strange. Bonds sits at 712 which means he needs 43 more to tie the record. Math was never my strong suit, but the only way Bonds can catch that number (outside of juicing up, again) is if he stays around for another three seasons.

The amount of abuse Bonds has to put up with is ridiculous, and if you think he can stick around for another three seasons of that kind of garbage, born out of the US's collective hate of the man, you are either highly delusional, a resident of San Fransisco or both.

He will finish this season (barring injury, and with Bonds, that can never be counted on) with a respectable 20-25 home runs. But the chances of him coming back for yet another go round, and once again opening himself up to attacks by the media et al are, in 63 Years' opinion, slim to none.

Bonds may be a jackass extrodinaire, but he's also human. Even he has to realise that breaking some silly record (yeah, you heard me) isn't worth the stuff he has to go through.

In other news, it would appear that 63 Years and Counting's 100% guaranteed NHL playoff predictions have more or less fizzled. We only hope you didn't put to much money on our advice. We will await the result of tonight's Calgary-Anahiem game before passing judgement on where we went wrong. Go Anahiem!

In other news, the Phoenix Suns, our picks to represent the Western Conference in the finals, are facing elimination at the hand of Kobe Bryant and four other guys. Here's hoping that Steve Nash, now back-to-back MVP, can pull off some serious playoff magic and put his team through.

Here's hoping.

Later,

Jason

Slow News Day Means Desperate Times

So the Toronto sports scene has more or less dried up with both the Leafs and Raptors currently enjoying the spring weather on the links, and the Jays in New York, learning why they're called the Bronx Bombers (17-6? What the hell is that?).

And so it is, that we here at 63 Years and Counting, for the first time in our admittedly short history, turn our attention to that beautiful game, futbol. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

No, no, I kid. I've always been a soccer fan. But being a soccer fan in North America is not always an easy task, especially when one is separated by one ocean and five time zones from the premier soccer leagues of the world.

The Premier League, Serie A, the Bundesliga, the Spanish Primiera; all great leagues we're sure, but totally unfeasible to follow. The games are all found on Saturday and Sunday mornings, and while we'd like to pretend that we give a damn about Crystal Palace against Bolton United, the fact is, we don't. We don't know a single player on either team, and we don't see that changing anytime soon. (We do note however, that Chelsea have won the Premiership title for the second straight year, and that manager Jose Mourinho is in the front running for the "Biggest Sore Winner Ever" award, after this)

Thankfully for all us North American soccer junkies, there's the Champion's League, which pulls all of Europe's best teams into one conveniant tournament. It's down to the finals now, with 63 Years' favourite team, Barcelona (formerly AC Milan, until we realised that they were owned by Silvio Berlusconi) against the English side Arsenal.

We don't mean to expose our bias or anything, but we predict a 8-0 win for Barca, with a double hat trick for Ronaldhino.

Though, we are thankful for Arsenal, if only for having elimanted Villareal, who's nuclear yellow jersey ranks only slightly higher than Juventus' pink atrocities on our list of all time least favourite jerseys.

And of course the World Cup begins in June, cleverly scheduled to distract us from as many exams as possible. The field is so deep (Brazil), and there are so many teams capable of winning (Brazil), that we hesitate to predict a winner (Brazil). Germany has a lot riding on it this year, but 63 Years doesn't see it panning out for the home side this time around.

And with the old mother country (Greece) sitting this one out, despite being European Champions (the first one who says "fluke" gets a bottle of ouzo smashed over their head), we are at a loss at who to cheer for. The Netherlands have are a strong candidate, as are the Czechs. We will see though, we will see.

Oleing It Up,

Jason

Jays Win, Natch

The Jays won tonight behind the hot arm of Gustavo Chacin and the hot bat of Vernon Wells. Chacin is easily one of our favourite players on the Jays. Always so calm and full of poise behind those sunglasses, and always so consistent, he's a rock in the Jays otherwise turbulent rotation. Whatever tomfoolery Ted Lilly or A.J Burnett get up to on the mound, you can rest assured that Chacin will go out there and give the Jays a chance to win. Tonight's win continues his perfect start, 4-0 on the season.

Speaking of fours and zeroes, the (former) Tower of Power, Josh Towers is off to a bad start, already 0-4 on the season. 63 Years fondly remembers when he burst onto the Jays scene, going 8-1 in his rookie campaign. What happened to that bundle of rookie talent? He has had some bad luck, the Jays' bats conveniantly go silent whenever he steps on the mound, but it shouldn't be the offence's job to bail out the pitcher every time.

In other Toronto news, there is no other Toronto news, because the Raptors and Maple Leafs are currently sitting home, twiddling their thumbs, watching much better teams then them compete for trophies that will likely elude them for their careers.

Well, actually, there is some news, none of it good, though that's par for the course. Former Leaf owner Steve Stavro bit the bullet yesterday, passing away from a heart attack. While we could mention that he added twelve years to the Leafs' 40 year Stanley Cup draught (and by extension, twelve years to this blog's title), we find it much more prudent to point out that Mr. Stavro was the man who rescued the Leafs' from the Harold Ballard/Black Hole era, which saw the Leafs post twelve consectutive losing season. Stavro propped the team up with his substantial personal fortune (built through his grocery empire. Yes, the Leafs were owned by a man known as the "Honest Grocer"). So, hat's off to you Mr. Stavro, and as one Greek to another, yeasas.

Of course the Leafs and Raptors are now owned by a coalition of the uninterested. The majority owners are a beast known as the Ontario Teacher's Pension Plan, which as the name might suggest, is more interested in securing massive profits than winning championships. The "face" of the organization is one of the many minority owners, Larry Tanenbaum, a thoroughly uninspiring man. Gone are the days of Conn Smythe...

Jason

No, I Mean The Other Boston Marathon

The Jays won a doozy last night in Toronto against the Red Sox, taking 12 innings to win 7-6. A.J "Golden Boy" Burnett made the start, but was once again inefective going only four innings. He left after that with "elbow pains", which has surely sent the suits upstairs into collective cardiac arrest. Two starts in, and Burnett is already injured. This is hardly the ideal start for the Burnett era in Toronto.

On the other hand, the other half of Toronto's one-two pitching punch, Roy Halladay, went today against the Bosox, man-handling the Boston order through 5 innings, before handing the ball off to the bullpen, which in turn handed in a spotless effort. Final score: 8-1. That secures the Jays' second series win against Boston, and improves their record to 9-7.

In other news, 63 Years and Counting feels obligated to comment on the firing of Leafs coach Pat "Irish Coffee" Quinn. We here at 63 Years won't say a word against the iconic coach; he was, as GM John Ferguson Jr said, "a consumate professional", a great coach and never one to shirk responsibility. His record with the Buds was sterling, going 300-222-52 behind the bench, taking them to the Eastern Conference finals twice in his seven year tenure.

But that's not to say that we disagree with this move. The Leafs, despite their late surge, were bad this year. Their 9-1-2 run to the end of the season unfortunately glosses over the fact that this team was genaerally inefective all year. You could argue, and it is a valid point, that it was Ferguson who built this team, signing big, slow vets and an even older goalie, but at the end of the day, it's the coach's job to bring it all together, and in that respect, Quinn failed. This team needs a new direction and a new coach to take them there (though, 63 Years would not be adverse to seeing Ferguson on his way out either).

The NHL playoffs also started yesterday. Much has been said about the relative inexperience of many of the starting goalies, which makes us all the more confident in predicting a long cup run for the New Jersey Devils, backed of course by the always great Martin Brodeur. They were in action today, beating up on the hapless New York Rangers 6-1. But when you give up 13 power plays to a team with players like Brian Gionta, Patrick Elias and Scott Gomez, what do you expect?

We have also been told that the NBA playoffs are about to begin, but we were unaware of this, since most people in Toronto weren't even aware the NBA season had ever begun. The Raptors, the NBA's lone representative in the Great White North, were terrible this year, opening the season 1-15, and closing it 1-12. They made a no-brainer this week though, signing soon-to-be star Chris "Aw Shucks" Bosh to a gazillion dollar contract extension. The message here being, there's no stench too great that a huge pile of money can't cover.

Word on the street is that Mike James, he of the career season and inflated ego, will not be back for another go round with the team. Which might be for the best; athletes that compare themselves to Jesus are rarely a positive influence in any dressing room.

Playoff predictions you say? Well, the Raptors have rather soured our taste for b-ball, so let's just say, I don't know... the Pistons take it in five over Phoenix in the finals. Nuff said.

Later

Jason

The Playoffs, Sans Maple Leafs

The playoff seedings are set in stone now, after the regular season wrapped up yesterday. The Toronto Maple Leafs will not be participating this year, of course, but perhaps that is for the best. One could only imagine them being swept in the first round by a team like Ottawa.

Anyway, without further ado, 63 Years and Counting presents its NHL playoff preview

East

Ottawa (1) vs Tampa Bay (8)
This series finds the would be champs, Ottawa, taking on the defending champs, Tampa. How the mighty have fallen, on both accounts. This year's version of Tampa Bay pales in comparison to the one that went all the way the last time anybody competed for Lord Stanley's mug. Martin "Short Stuff" St. Louis is hardly MVP worthy this time around, and a Sean Burke/John Grahame combo in net most definitely does not equal one Nikolai "Follow the Money" Khabibulin. Ottawa, much like Toronto did, has realised that relying on an aging goaltender was perhaps not the best idea, and must turn to Ray Emery to take them to the big dance. The Sens are hardly the sparkling specimens of hockey prowess they were to start the season, but are still a head above the Lighting talent wise. However, as a life long Toronto fan, I am obligated to cheer against the Sens. But my dislike for the Rideau Riders doesn't make me stupid. Ottawa wins in six.

Carolina (2) vs Montreal (7)
What happened to Carolina? These guys were the poster boys of the new NHL, but now they're just another team in the pack. Was losing Eric Cole that big a blow? Was trading for Mark Recchi that bad an idea? And whatever happened to that Eric Staal guy? Montreal has the momentum in this one for sure. The rumblings out of Montreal seem to indicate that David "Swiss Cheese" Aebischer is favoured to get the nod as the starting goalie. Whether that is a plus or minus, I leave up to you to decide. Montreal wins in seven.

New Jersey (3) vs New York (6)
The Devils won their division in style, waiting till the very last day of the season to do it, and are rewarded with a round against the slumping Rangers. Dubbed the Battle of the Hudson by sports pundits far wiser than I, this should be a series where New Jersey can flex their playoff muscles. Martin Brodeur gives the Devils a huge advantage in any playoff series, especially against a New York team that lost its last five games leading up to the playoffs. Can Jaromir Jagr carry this team past the resurgent Devils? Personally, I hope so, but don't hold your breath. New Jersey wins in five.

Buffalo (4) vs Philadelphia (5)
I really like this match up. Either team could realistically end up on top. The Flyers aren't quite as good as past incarnations, but they are still the Flyers and demand some respect. If Peter Forsberg can stay healthy and play at 100%, I see this one going Phillies' direction. But really, it could go either way. Philadelphia in seven.

West

Detroit (1) vs Edmonton (8)
What happened to the Oilers? Bringing in Chris Pronger and Micheal Peca was supposed to stop Edmonton's bad habit of squeeking into the playoffs. Not so, I suppose. As such, the Oils are going to be in tough to beat my favourite to win the Cup, the Red Wings. The Wings are just too good to be taken down by an Edmonton team backed by by Dwayne Roloson. Detroit wins in five.

Dallas (2) vs Colorado (7)
The Dallas Stars, the NHL's most under appreciated team, shouldn't have too too much trouble dispatching Colorado. And while Jussi Jokinen's ridiculous shoot out record won't be any help in the post season, this is a very good Stars team, and nobody would be surprised to see Mike Modano hoisting the Stanley Cup in a few months time. Not that the Avs are a bad team per se, but Joe Sakic isn't quite what he used to be, and Jose Theodore has yet to prove himself as the second coming of Patrick Roy. Dallas wins in six.

Calgary (3) vs Anaheim (6)
I will be the first to admit, I do not get the whole Calgary experience. It appears that they have managed to convince most of the sporting world that they are the real deal, but there remains one man unconvinced of Calgary's domination. Me. This team relies so much so on its goalie Mikka Kiprusoff that they managed to score one of the league's lowest goal totals and still win their division. Which makes a red hot team like Anaheim the perfect candidate to dust off the sluggish Flames. Anaheim wins in six.

Nashville (4) vs San Jose (5)
I would have taken the red hot Sharks over Nashville whether the Preds had lost their star goalie Tomas Vokoun or not. Vokoun's injury just makes it that much clearer that San Jose will come out on top. Joe "Art Ross" Thornton and Jonathan "Rocket Richard" Cheechoo are just too dominating for it to end any other way. Not that Nashville won't make it close, but in the end, there's only one team that can advance from this pair. San Jose in six.

And there you have it, 63 Years and Counting's 100% guaranteed playoff predictions (We don't mean to brag, but it looks like someone agrees with us). Just don't come crying to us when they turn out all wrong, and an angry loan shark is practicing for his chiropractory degree on your kneecaps. You've been warned.

In other news, following a matinee loss to the Yankees today by Toronto, the series is split 1-1. 63 Years and Counting would like to note that for yesterday's 10-5 win over the Yanks, the Rogers Centre was almost filled to capacity. 63 Years does not however find it pertinent to mention that the tickets cost all of 2$ for yesterday's game.

In other, other news, Mats Sundin's 4 point effort against the soon to be Las Vegas Penguins gives him 78 points through 70 games, his best showing in three or four years. It's good to have you back Mats.

Later

Jason